Queen of Hearts
by B of Ericaland
Summary: this is what happens when you can't find your keys... callica. possible femslash in later chapters. be forewarned.
1. Something to Say

I am brilliant

AUTHOR'S NOTE: the only thing I request of my readers is a high-maturity rate. while the first few chapters will just be harmless fluff, later chapters may become more intense sexually. if that's not your scene, then this story is not for you. my first fic, so reviews would be appreciated, but I am so not going to beg for them.

DISCLAIMER: don't own Grey's. belongs to abc studios and shonda sigh

_I am brilliant. I save lives. Why in the hell should I have to play babysitter to Burke's ex-pet?_ Erica Hahn steamed to herself as she dug through her purse in a (so far) fruitless search for her keys.

This whole day had just been a blur of activity and to say she was just ready to go home would be an understatement. First that lovesick teenager had been dragged in, trapped in the proof of his love. And he had been one problem after another. The bladder, the toxins going to his heart, the burns on his skin, the…well, the cement in general.

Not that she didn't enjoy a good surgery, the thrill and excitement of knowing you held someone's very existence in your hands… but why today? She had already been thrown off by the obvious tension Callie was feeling around her. And her "really big trauma" speech pretty much made everyone else aware of it too. She could of used an easy day today.

And then Yang had to go and steal her spotlight! She didn't care that Yang swept in at the last minute and took out the clot that had formed in his right pulmonary artery. But to add insult to injury Richard then proceeded to tell her she wasn't a good teacher?!

What a day… Erica paused to rub her temples soothingly and then returned to her search with a renewed vigor. She had to get away from this hospital… now!

"Hey… I wanted to see if you wanted to grab a drink…"

Callie's voice cut through Erica's thoughts. She hadn't even heard her approach. Now this was just the icing on the cake that was her day. Was she being punished for something? The last thing she needed was an awkward night at Joe's. Although getting plastered might help her forget her problems. Maybe…

"I can't find my keys…" _Oh that was brilliant Erica! Of all statements, pick the one that stays true to your hair color! _

"Maybe we could, um, I had something I wanted to talk to you about." At least Callie didn't seem to think twice about her retarded comment about her keys, but she did seem nervous. Nervous? That was so not Callie. She was all sexily confident, usually, almost cocky… though she wore her confidence in a much more subtle and far less annoying way than Sloan.

"I had the damn keys this morning. I put them in this bag, but I can't remember. This whole thing with Yang has me so messed up!" _Go ahead Erica. Just dig yourself into a deeper hole. Keep talking about your keys… go right ahead. You're really going to score points that way._

"Erica…" Her tone wasn't harsh, but it was abrupt. It demanded her attention. Despite wanting to avoid drama for the rest of the night, or rather… morning now, her gaze snapped up without hesitation. Callie is her best friend after all, if nothing else, and she shouldn't ever be ignored. Especially not for keys.

"What?" Again not the most brilliant thing to say, but she'd excuse that one.

"I'm saying something here."

Erica stopped. She saw a flash of uncertainty at war with the shaky confidence in her best friend's eyes. What did Callie have to tell her? Her curiosity and concern kept her attention on Callie and her mouth shut, which was probably a good thing.

"Just…I wanted to say…" Callie's eyes read hers for something, searching for a reason to not say what she was about to. Erica just remained curious and concerned. But then Callie's eyes flashed somewhere Erica was not expecting… to her mouth.

"I just wanted to say…"

Well, it was safe to say Callie didn't say what she wanted to say, because Erica had barely blinked before her face was in her best friend's hands and their lips were crashing together.

It took Erica a second to realize the ball was in her court. She was being pulled under and she could either sink or swim. And for a long painstaking moment, it seemed as if she might really let this opportunity pass her by.

Finally…thankfully… her brain woke up and her hand found its way to Callie's cheek, lightly drawing her in closer and she reciprocated her friend's affection.

Callie pulled away at this contact, almost reluctantly, giving Erica one last chance at an out. But Erica just smiled, bringing the same reaction out of Callie and they found their way together again, this time with no intention of breaking the contact.

Finally, air became necessary and Erica was forced to pull back to draw a breath. Callie just smirked at her, seemingly smug at the effect her kissing was having on the heart surgeon.

"Joe's?" Erica raised her eyebrows. A bar wasn't usually the destination after kissing like that, but she was too nervous to suggest going anywhere more private than that.

Callie just smirked more and shook her head, her eyes slowly burning with this new desire to explore this twist in their story. She held out her hand to Erica, and the cardiothoracic surgeon didn't hesitate to grab it. She would follow wherever Callie planned to lead tonight.

And lead Callie did.


	2. The Morning After

Sunlight assaulted Callie's face as a faint ringing broke somewhere in the distance

DISCLAIMER: still shonda's sigh

Sunlight assaulted Callie's face as a faint ringing broke somewhere in the distance. She clung to the threads of the good dream she'd been having, one or her and Erica actually playing out that little fantasy Sloan had been whispering to her in the on-call room a couple days before, except Mark was nowhere to be seen in this particular dream.

Abruptly the distance ringing stopped, but it was all for not… Callie's dream had already slipped away and she was awake. She kept her eyes closed to the brightness of the rays streaming through the window, instead turning away, burying her head against… her pillow? No…it was too warm to be her pillow… human warm. The person she was snuggled next to grunted and shifted a little, still asleep.

Callie opened her eyes slowly, nearly gasping to find her gaze falling upon blonde locks of hair and ivory skin. She closed them quickly again, mentally freaking out.

And then the previous night's events flooded back all at once. Erica. Her mouth. Her eyes. Her body. Her hands. Those magical hands. A warm feeling that had nothing to do with the sunlight crept up her body and she snuggled deeper into the embrace that held her. Instinctively, Erica's arms wrapped tighter around her and for a moment, everything was perfect.

For a moment…

Just as the sunlight had assaulted her eyes, the rich aroma of coffee assaulted her nose, despite the fact that it was buried against Erica's neck. Callie reluctantly raised her gaze and her eyes immediately widened with surprise.

There in the small kitchen, leaning impatiently against the counter, and empty mug in her hand, eyeing the coffee maker expectantly was her roommate and fellow resident surgeon Christina Yang.

Yang eyes lazily flashed in her direction before returning to the slow moving stream of the coffee.

She was dumbstruck. How could Yang possibly be here? Well, in her defense, it was her apartment, but still… Didn't she have somewhere better to be? Why hadn't they gone to Erica's place? Oh right… no keys. Shit! This was going to be a hard one to explain away.

At that moment, Erica's eyes shot open.

_Shit! She's not going to be happy about this! _Callie bit her lip as their eyes met.

But Erica smiled. As her gaze fell upon Yang, the smile only faltered a little, but remained mostly intact. "Yang."

Christina nodded, without taking her eyes off the coffee maker. "Dr. Hahn."

Callie's jaw dropped. They seemed so casual about this. How could they?

The coffee maker buzzed to fill the silence, and Yang didn't hesitate to pick up the pot and pour some of the hot liquid into her mug. She then walked wordlessly to the front door and was gone.

Callie turned on Erica. "What was all that about? Did you forget that we work with her?"

"Yang and I have a mutual understanding." Erica leaned forward for a kiss, but Callie leaned back and glared at her questioningly. Erica sighed, but continued. "I teach her without bitching and her lips remain sealed."

Callie slowly nodded as this information sunk in. Christina wasn't her first choice to be the keeper of their secret, but it was better than Grey or Stevens being entrusted with the info. At least she could trust that if it helped her career, Yang would take a secret to the grave.

"Hey, look at me." Callie snapped back into reality and her eyes met Erica's. The blonde was studying her intently. "Do you regret it?"

Callie knew she could destroy Erica with her answer. Did she regret kissing Erica? No. Did she regret that she brought Erica home with every intent of having sex on the floor of Yang's apartment? No. Did she regret that said sex didn't end up happening? Maybe.

Erica took her silence for an answer. "Oh, I see." The blonde sat up, the blankets falling down to reveal last night's clothing.

Callie instinctively clutched her arm to discourage any more movement, and brought their lips together in a kiss that mirrored the previous night's passion completely.

Erica melted against her and they both laid slowly back to the floor. Callie straddling Erica without breaking their kiss.

Erica's hands clutched Callie's face to hers as her tongue slipped between Callie's parted lips.

Callie had every intention of finishing what exhaustion had robbed them of last night. This may not be the type of sex she usually had but inexperience was doing nothing to ebb the hunger she was feeling. She was craving an addiction and tonight she felt a blistering need to be strung out on the drug known as Erica Hahn.

And so kissing quickly became groping. Her hands found their way down to the hem of her own shirt and she grasped it firmly, pulling the garment slowly up.

She broke their kiss to pull the shirt over her head and tossed it aside with a smile.

She watched as Erica drank in her partially exposed upper body. All that separated the blonde from fully exposing her chest was the thin black lace of her bra.

The older of the two women looked as if it was Christmas morning and she had just been handed the one package she'd been dying most to open. Callie loved being looked at that way, being desired that much. It made her feel beautiful and turned her on in the process.

Slowly, their lips met again. She felt Erica's fingers creeping inch by inch up her back toward the clasp of her bra, and was amazed that she felt no reluctance. In fact, she deepened the kiss hoping to urge her on.

As the blonde's fingers found and gripped the small clasp, Callie broke their kiss, but kept her mouth only centimeters from Erica's.

"What about work?" Her voice was all breathy and low from their head-spinning make out session and the fact that Erica showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.

And then the last three words Callie ever expected to hear come out of the mouth of Dr. Hahn met her ears.

"Work can wait."


	3. Sent to the Principal's Office

DISCLAIMER: not mine; still shonda's

But as always, work decided it couldn't be ignored.

Fortunately, the handy doctor-friendly devices known as pagers could be conveniently ignored… or at the very least, conveniently left in your locker. Unfortunately, where pagers did not exist, telephones did. A little less convenient to dispose of.

A shrill ring broke all activity on the living room floor. Anyone watching the scene would find it quite comical. Erica Hahn, her eyes wider than a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and her mouth open in surprise, straddling a now topless Callie Torres, who glared at the phone as if she were willing it dead with her mind.

However, phones, although it wasn't as easy, could also be ignored. Realizing that fact, Callie resumed her mouth's attack on Erica's collar bone, sucking as she moved across her skin. Erica's eyes fluttered shut.

But where phones then failed to distract, responsibility got the job done.

The answering machine beeped as it picked up the missed call. "If you two are quite finished…" Both looked up again at the sound of Yang's voice, though neither focused on what she was saying until… "The Chief is looking for both of you, since you're not answering any pages. I suggest you both wrap it up before you have no careers left to go to."

The apartment became a blur of activity. Pulling apart from each other, searching for discarded clothes, scrambling to put them on, putting finishing touches on their wild appearances, grabbing a quick cup of coffee to go. It was less than ten minutes before they were walking out of Yang's place, looking more or less like they did when they went in.

Both surgeons entered the hospital cautiously, peering around corners as they snuck up to the locker rooms. Luckily they met no one of consequence on their way up, and they both collapsed safely into the locker room with sighs of relief.

They glanced at each other with stupid grins on their faces like schoolgirls in love as they changed into their scrubs. "Yang's the only one who knew where we were. We could play it off as if we just fell asleep in an on call room and lost track of time." Callie shrugged.

"I know. I can't believe we didn't get caught coming up here." Erica led the way to the door of the locker room, reaching for the handle. "How'd we get so lucky?"

Erica pulled the door open, coming face to face with Chief Webber.

"I was just thinking the same thing." He crossed his arms and glared at them both.

"Richard." Erica mimicked fake surprise. Not the 'oh shit we just got caught' kind of surprise, but more the 'I didn't expect to see you here' kind of surprise.

Callie noted that, despite Erica's flawless acting, the Chief wasn't quite falling for it.

"Sorry, Chief." Callie put a silencing hand on Erica's arm.

At the obvious guilt in the orthopedic surgeon's voice, Chief Webber's demeanor softened just a little.

"I expect my staff to be on time. I will not tolerate tardiness… especially from you two." All the sternness had dissipated from his expression. "Now you've both got patients. Go save someone's life and I might consider forgetting this."

They watched as he left them, still in the doorway of the locker room, and rounded the corner. Erica burst into a fit of laughter.

Callie raised an eyebrow at her odd behavior. "Am I missing something? What's so funny?"

Erica grinned. "It felt like we just got sent to the principal's office."

Callie's mind flashed back to a comment Sloan had made comparing that exact scenario to a threesome with Erica and she started to laugh as well. "You're right, it really does."

It took a few minutes for their giggles to subside.

When they finally composed themselves into somewhat of a professional appearance, the reality of responsibility came crashing down on them.

Callie was the first to move from the doorway but Erica pulled her quickly back in the locker room, kissing her fiercely.

A few seconds and Callie pulled away, gasping for air.

Erica smirked her infamous smirk. "Don't even begin to think we aren't going to finish what we started this morning."

Simultaneously, both their pagers went off.

Erica frowned, but then once again the smirk resurfaced. "Saved by the bell." She leaned in closely, whispering so only Callie could hear, despite their lack of audience. "But tonight… your mine."

Erica breezed out of the locker room in quite the same way she had left the elevator after their first kiss, with a satisfied confidence. And once again, Callie was left with a shocked expression and a desire she still couldn't quite comprehend.


	4. The One Not in the Ambulance

A couple hours later found Callie in the pit helping out with victims of a ten car pile-up

A couple hours later found Callie in the pit helping out with victims of a ten car pile-up. Her current patient was a man with a broken leg who wouldn't stop yelling every time she touched him. This was getting old… fast.

"Somebody sedate him before I lose it!" She shouted at the nearest nurse. The man already had morphine flowing through his system, but at the sound of sedation he relaxed a little and his yelling was reduced to more of a strangled moan.

It took no time at all for Callie to fix the man's leg, and she was up and ready to move on to the next patient.

"I need some help here!"

Callie looked towards an EMT supporting a young woman in her arms.

"Another accident victim?" Callie asked as she rushed over.

The EMT looked overwhelmed by the simple question. "I don't know. She didn't come in by ambulance like the others. She… walked in. And then she collapsed. "

Callie stared at her and then the woman. "Walked in?"

"Hahn… Erica Hahn…" The mumbled words came from the woman before she crumpled in the EMT's arms. It was only then that Callie noticed the piece of twisted metal jutting from the woman's lower abdomen.

"We need a little help here! Someone page Dr. Hahn!"

Callie kicked into doctor mode and she would stay that way until Dr. Hahn finally showed up fifteen minutes later.

"Mrs. Hansen, I assure you we are trying to do everything we can to find Haley a heart." Erica was itching for a surgery. Her morning however had been spent with patients.

It wasn't that she didn't care about her patients, but if it was you having to explain why there was still no heart available for her nineteen year old daughter_ twenty_ times, you'd be frustrated too.

She could be in on the countless surgeries that car accident had caused, but instead she was here dealing with a disgruntled mother.

Her pager went off just as she was about to explain for the twenty first time.

She barely glanced at it, happy for any excuse to escape. "Mrs. Hansen I have to go, but I'll be back to check on Haley as soon as I can."

She couldn't move fast enough towards the pit, where she had been paged.

The pit was a flurry of activity, blurs of different colored scrubs flying this way and that. Still, Erica had learned long ago how to quickly process where she was needed, to sort through the mess.

Her eyes caught Callie's at the same time that Callie's caught hers, and she rushed to join her.

"Female. Mid to late twenties. Piece of metal straight through her stomach. We stopped the bleeding. As soon as it's assessed whether the metal has pierced any major organs, she'll go to OR 2 so it can be removed and any damage can be repaired." Callie blocked her entrance into the room with the patient as she rambled off the woman's condition.

"And her heart?"

"Not compromised so far…" Callie suddenly couldn't meet her eyes.

"Torres…" That got her nowhere. "…Callie!"

Callie looked up, apology written across her face. "She knows you, Erica. She _asked_ for you."

Erica pushed past Callie and into the room, and for a moment her own heart stopped.

She did indeed know the young woman on the table before her.

She was vaguely aware of Callie's hand on her shoulder. "Dr. Hahn… do you know her? Who is she?" Though Callie's tone was gentle, Erica flinched. The answer came easily to her mind but she couldn't seem to push the name out. _Brenna Donovan_. She hadn't thought about that name for over eight years, and it hurt to think of it now.

"Dr. Hahn?" Callie's growing concern was becoming more evident in her voice now. Of course, anyone looking at Erica's expression would be concerned. She looked as if she had just seen a ghost, for lack of a better comparison. Her eyes were wide and unbelieving, and she neither smiled nor frowned.

Callie shook her. "Erica?" She was really worried now. Callie leaned in close. "Erica, honey, tell me who she is." Callie glanced around, checking to see if anyone had caught her small term of endearment, but no one had seemed to notice.

That, at least, finally snapped Erica out of her stupor. She looked at Callie, and put on her poker face. She was a world renowned cardiothoracic surgeon now. She could face this.

"Brenna Donovan…" She hesitated briefly. Thinking a name was different than actually hearing it aloud, especially from her own mouth.

Callie's brows furrowed. "Who is she, Dr. Hahn?"

"She was my first successful heart transplant patient."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: ooh, the suspense! who is brenna donovan really?? a relative? a love interest? we might never know… more chapters in a couple days, when i finally get a break from work…


	5. Never Been Held

"Knock, knock

DISCLAIMER: not mine. shonda's and all that

AUTHOR'S NOTE: added mark in a little, cause he's fun, and he's going to be essential to the growth of the erica/callie relationship in this story. and i'm planning to have rose play a part too…

"Knock, knock." Callie stood in the doorway of the on call room, a concerned expression clouding her features as she glanced at Erica's back. The cardiothoracic surgeon was laying on one of the beds, facing the wall, her back to the door. If Callie had been able to see her face, she would see a flow of tears so rare, no one at Seattle Grace had ever seen them before.

Erica didn't answer. That would require energy, something of which Erica had none. She was drained. Brenna's surgery presented some unforeseen complications. On more than one occasion, she was almost lost. But she had pulled through and was now in recovery, twisted metal-free.

Callie closed the door and crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. She lifted her hand meaning to touch Erica, but instead it was left dangling cautiously in mid-air. Was that something a _girlfriend_ did? Were she and Erica even _girlfriends_? They hadn't real established a label for this yet.

"I'm here." Callie wasn't quite sure why she said the words. They seemed feeble and stupid.

But those two small words broke Erica Hahn. Her body shook with her first sob, and they kept coming full force.

This time Callie didn't hesitate. She knew instinctively what to do. She pulled Erica up and into her lap, smoothing down her blonde waves as she cried against her shoulder.

Callie had no idea who Brenna Donovan was, but for the first time she wasn't quite sure if she cared. She just knew she was important to Erica, and that was all she needed to know.

So, for the next hour as Erica cried, no questions were asked, no assumptions were made. Callie was just_ there_.

And that was all Erica needed.

Mark Sloan knew that Erica Hahn and Callie Torres had probably slept together after their midnight make out session on the sidewalk in front of Seattle Grace, but he was hardly stupid enough to believe they were a couple. Hahn had specifically told him she didn't have intra-hospital relations. It was a rule for her, and she didn't seem like much of a rulebreaker. As for Callie… well he knew firsthand that she was only after one thing. After all, her response when he had brought up the possibility of having more than meaningless sex had been "_eww_". And so, they could not possibly be anything more than sex buddies. Callie was just quenching her same-sex curiosities and Erica… well, she was just doing this for the purpose of getting laid. Because lord knows if anyone needed to get some around here, it was her.

Mark was so completely convinced of this fact that he went to find Callie in the early evening, planning to quench a sexual thirst of his own.

But Callie Torres was nowhere to be found.

"Rose!" Mark sauntered up to the nurses' station, smiling at the brunette beauty there.

He could almost see her holding back an eyeroll at his friendly demeanor. However, Olivia, who was conveniently standing beside her, completed it for her before turning with a huff and stalking away.

Rose glanced at the clock. "You have a minute and twenty two seconds to throw me your best pickup line before I'm needed elsewhere."

He frowned and put a hand to his chest in dramatic shock. "Ouch! Don't tell me you've jumped on the anti-me bandwagon too."

"Is there anything you need _Dr. Sloan_?" He was taken aback by the impatience and slight hint of acid in her tone. Wasn't Rose usually the nice one? There must be trouble in paradise with Derek. He made a mental note to inquire about this later. Right now, he was still on a mission.

"I was just wondering if you had seen Dr. Torres in the last few hours… I need her help with… _a patient_."

This time Rose didn't hold back the eyeroll… probably at his obvious lie. "Third floor on call room." She picked up some files and disappeared around the corner.

He smiled that smug smile of his at the mention of Callie being in an on call room. That brought back fond memories. Apparently, last night had changed nothing.

When Mark reached the room, he considered knocking but decided against it. An element of surprise was always nicer in these situations.

He opened the door and stopped dead in his tracks.

Callie was there alright, but she was asleep. And she wasn't alone. Callie had her back to him, and curled up in her arms, Mark could just make out the figure of Erica Hahn in the light from the doorway.

It took him a couple moments to get over the initial shock, but when he did he backed out and closed the door behind him, still trying to comprehend what he had just seen. The way they had been holding each other, even in sleep… best friends didn't do that. He and Derek had been best friends for years and had certainly never done that, even in times where they were consoling each other. Only he and Addison had ever even come somewhat close…

_Well maybe Callie is a one man woman after all, or a one woman woman it seems_, Mark thought as he left the two female doctors in peace.

Callie was awoken by the familiar shrill beeping of a pager going off. She fumbled around blindly in search of her own.

"It's mine." Erica's grumble threw her off for a moment until the memory of them holding each other in the on call room came flooding back. Had they fallen asleep? They must have.

The room was dark except for the bright light Erica's pager emitted when she pulled it out of her pocket. As she looked at it, Erica's eyes grew wide.

"What is it?"

Erica looked at Callie as if she weren't really seeing her, as if her mind was off somewhere else. "She's awake."


	6. Seperated at Birth

Sunlight streamed through the trees, illuminating the snow covered ground

DISCLAIMER: still shonda's

AUTHOR'S NOTE: so this chapter is going to have a little flashback into erica's unknown past. as will the next few chapters, i think. thanks for the reviews, by the way. just because i'm not going to beg for them, doesn't mean i don't appreciate them greatly. don't worry… this is a callica story, and over the next few chapters, i am planning on focusing more on their relationship…

_Sunlight streamed through the trees, illuminating the snow covered ground. Everything was snowy white, except for a crystal blue flowing creek and two teenage girls contemplating the best way across._

_Kayla Hahn, the older of the two blondes, pointed to four boulders spaced evenly across the water a little further downstream. She walked over and climbed up on the first one. It was a little slippery, but she was able to keep her footing. She jumped from boulder to boulder, making her way gracefully across the surface of the fast moving creek._

_Her younger sister Erica tried to follow behind just as skillfully, with just as much grace. She managed the skillful half but she had a huge lack of grace in her lumpy gait. _

"_Where are we going?" Erica was always up for trying something new, going on great adventures with her sister, who also happened to be her very best friend, and she certainly didn't mind getting down and dirty, but she really, really hated surprises. She didn't like being on the outs._

"_You'll see." Kayla smiled her dazzling smile and turned to help Erica down off the last boulder._

_Erica refused her proffered hand out of sheer spite at her vague answer. She ignored her help and tried jumping down onto the snow-covered ground herself. Big mistake…_

_Kayla tried her best to stifle a laugh as Erica jumped… and face planted in the snow._

"_See? Too much for you." Kayla finally let her laugh slip before bending down to help Erica up onto her feet._

_Erica brushed herself off, gave Kayla her best death stare, and stomped off down the path._

_Not too much later, the two sisters emerged from the path through trees out into a wide open meadow bordered all around by hills._

"_It's just up that ridge…" Kayla pointed to the where the path wound through the meadow and then continued up the steep side of the farthest hill._

"_Contrary to popular belief, I don't have a death wish." Erica took in the steepness of the hillside. That combined with the slippery slope was an accident waiting to happen._

"_What are you… scared?" Kayla had an edge of challenge in her voice as she continued down the trail towards the path up to the ridge._

"_Am not." Erica rushed to keep up with her._

_Both girls paused at the bottom of the hill._

"_Are you sure this place of yours is worth it? I really don't feel like falling to my death today."_

"_What are you talking about?" Kayla had already started up the path. She turned and stared back down at her younger sister._

"_The snow-covered slide of death you're currently standing on."_

_Kayla came back down and grabbed Erica's hand. "Will you come on already?" She dragged her up the slippery slope, despite her protests._

_When they came over the ridge Erica gasped._

"_It's beautiful, isn't it?" Kayla gazed with a wonder that mirrored Erica's._

_Before them was a huge lake, stretching at least a half mile if not more in all directions. Small pieces of ice floated across the top with the temperature still not being quite cold enough to freeze the entire surface._

_The sun streamed down freely from the open sky and glistened off everything, turned it into a playground of sparkling crystal._

"_It's gorgeous." The response was delayed, but neither girl seemed to notice of care. They were just silent in mutual admiration._

_But a dark spot near the trees on the far side of the lake caught Erica's attention. "Do you see that?"_

_Kayla's gaze followed to the spot Erica was indicating. "Wait here Erica. I'm gonna go check it out."_

_Kayla took off around the side of the lake, the snow crunching loudly beneath her boots as she slowly made her way towards the dark form._

_It took Erica only a second to follow. She wasn't going to miss out on any of this just because her sister told her to stay put._

_When they came close enough, it became obvious what the form was._

_A human. A little girl. Seven maybe eight._

"_Oh my god…" Kayla rushed over to her, bending down to check for the worst. For the first time since being forced to take them, she was glad for her four years of health classes in high school._

"_She's still breathing…"_

_Erica just stood there, eyes wide. She had never seen anything like this before, but she wasn't scared. She watched as Kayla frantically searched for what to do._

"_Go get help." Erica was astonished to hear the order come from her own mouth, but it seemed natural to take charge._

"_What?" Kayla looked up at her incredulously._

"_I'll stay with her. You're faster. Go run and get help."_

_It took Kayla a moment to obey, but she finally nodded and tore off back the way they had come. Erica fell into the snow next to the little girl, pulling her up into her lap to get her body as much out of the snow as possible. The thought occurred to her to trying and carry her back, but who knew what her injuries were. She couldn't risk it. No, she'd wait. She'd wait for someone to come get them, come help. She'd wait for someone to save this girl's life._

"Callie, I can't go in there." Erica stopped outside the door to Brenna's room.

"What? Why not?" Callie looked at her, concern evident on her face and in her voice.

"It's hard to explain. It's… She's a part of my past that I'm just not ready to face yet."

"Okay." Callie wasn't usually so quick to give in, but she could see how much this was hurting Erica.

"Thanks." Erica started to walk away, but Callie put a hand on her shoulder. "You'll meet me later, won't you? After your shift?"

Erica nodded, though she didn't smile. "Yeah, sure."

Callie gained her composure and put on her best professional front. Then she entered the room.

"Ms. Donovan, I'm Dr. Torres… how are you feeling?"

When Callie looked up, her breath caught. In the pit, Brenna Donovan had been crumpled and weak. She had been bloody, her features twisted with her pain. Now that she was here, and somewhat cleaned up, Callie couldn't help but be taken aback by the woman's exotic beauty, and even more taken aback by the resemblance.

Her hair was black and wavy, smooth as silk though it was wild and unkempt from the accident and then from sleep. Her skin was a golden tan, the tan of someone of Spanish descent. Her eyes were a deep, piercing chocolate brown. She was frail and thin, the only difference Callie could see. Callie Torres was staring at the closest thing to a twin she'd ever had.

"It's actually not Donovan…"

"What?" Callie's head tilted to the side, her eyes still a little clouded over from the shock. Her brain couldn't process the woman's comment.

"It's not Donovan, at least not anymore. I got divorced two years ago. It's back to Dasilva now." She had the faintest trace of an accent, though Callie couldn't place where from.

"Alright then, Ms. Dasilva… how are you feeling today?"

She smiled. Her smile even reminded Callie of her own, big and bright. "Well, just between you and me… I feel like I had a piece of metal stuck in my stomach."

Callie couldn't help but smile at the woman's light humorous tone.

"Can I ask you a question, Dr. Torres?"

Callie nodded. "That's what I'm hear for… well, among other things."

"Is Dr. Hahn avoiding me, or is she really just extremely busy?"

"What? I…" Callie was completely thrown off by her question. She had certainly not expected toe be asked that.

"Oh, come now. Dr. Bailey already came in and went through the normal 'I'm your doctor and this is what happened' routine. I'm no stranger to how these kinds of things go. So I believe I'm safe in assuming either you're with the wrong patient or you were sent here to check up on me by Dr. Hahn. And you don't seem to me to be the type to get her patients mixed up, so I am also safe in assuming that the latter is correct."

Callie just nodded, she couldn't help it… the woman reminded her of Erica when she talked. Her voice held a certain authority, like to lie was suicide.

"Are you two close?"

"Best friends." Again Callie opted for truth. It seemed like the safer option for the time being.

"She's really never mentioned me, has she." It was a statement, not a question. An admission.

"We haven't really known each other that long… but no, she never mentioned you."

"That's Erica's way. She seems to hate everybody, but if you're patient with her, she'll let you in. She's confident..." She paused with a smile. "Arrogant, but you get sucked in by her surprising gentleness. And then, it seems like you've known this side of her forever, like everyone else is just blind to the real her, like they just want to see the flaws." Her eyes were distant; she was lost somewhere in her past.

Callie decided this was as good a time as any to bow out gracefully. She smiled. "Dr. Bailey should be back to check up on you soon. And the nurses are available for anything you need."

"Dr. Torres?" Reluctantly, Callie stopped. "Please tell Dr. Hahn that my answer was yes. She'll know what it means."

Callie nodded.

Brenna looked away, towards the wall, silently giving her permission to make her escape. She took the opportunity gratefully. Once she closed the door behind her she took a deep breath. She couldn't help but be intimidated. Brenna was a part of Erica's past, obviously an important one, if not a big one. And deep in her stomach Callie had a feeling that the next few days were going to make or break her and Erica's relationship.

And that feeling, much to her confusion, scared her extremely.


	7. Knight in Dirty Armor

The girl in Erica's arms drifted in and out of consciousness as they waited

DISCLAIMER: not mine. shonda and abc's

_The girl in Erica's arms drifted in and out of consciousness as they waited. Minutes ticked by like hours for the young blonde._

_The girl in her arms was rail thin. Though she was bundled up more than believably necessary, her cheeks were pale and her face was ice cold._

_She was never conscious long enough to give her name or say what had happened, so Erica just whispered reassuring words to her whenever her eyes opened for a second and sometimes even when they were still closed._

_It was nearly four miles back to any sign of civilization and nearly another half mile to anybody who could possibly help. As if that wasn't enough, the snow would surely slow Kayla down. Even running the whole way, Kayla would be an hour at best._

_After thirty minutes had passed the girl's eyes stopped opening completely. Not much made Erica Hahn panic. She was a naturally calm, cool and collected person. But Erica started to freak._

_The girl was an ice cube and help was still at least a half hour away. Hopelessness began to creep in. If Kayla were here, she'd know what to do, Erica was sure of that._

_So Erica did the only thing she could think of to help. She pulled her jacket off and wrapped it easily around the girl._

_Then she devoted her strength to watching the puffs of air leaving the girl's lungs. She wasn't sure exactly what she was supposed to do when they stopped, but she knew she had to keep her breathing. She felt an overwhelming need to do this, to save her life._

_An hour passed and the snow began to fall once again. She kept one eye on the rise and fall of the kid's chest and one on the ridge. Kayla had to be coming, but with each passing moment, Erica lost more and more faith. The girl's breath had become faint. She wasn't going to make it much longer. Erica felt helpless._

"_Don't die. Please don't die. Breathe for me. There coming for us. I promise. A few more minutes and they'll be here. They'll be here." Erica was desperate. It was pointless to plead with the girl; she couldn't hear. And even if she could, who was Erica to give her hope when her own hope was dwindling._

_Erica was started to feel the cold. Only a sweater separated her from the falling flakes, but she took solace in the fact that the girl didn't feel as cold, or maybe that was just because she herself was getting colder._

_The girl's breathing all but stopped. Survival instinct kicked in and it occurred to Erica that she could run. She knew that in the end no one would hold it against her if she did. She couldn't possibly be expected to die for a stranger, to save a stranger when she barely knew how to keep herself alive._

"_What would Kayla do?" Erica's sister was planning to go into med school, brilliant, top of her class. She'd do this. She'd be the hero. She'd know how to be the hero._

_Erica frowned. "I'm not strong. I've never done this. I don't know what to do." She stood slowly, carrying the girl with her. Her weakened and sore body almost crumpled under the extra weight. "But I won't leave you."_

_The trip back around the lake was painful. Erica's limbs were frozen; she could barely move. Her mind was imaging horrible scenarios of why her sister never returned and what would happen to her and this girl if she failed. Maybe her sister fell in the creek. It was possible, those boulders were slippery._

_She was ten feet from the ridge now. She only thought about each step as she completed it. She hadn't even thought ahead to how she planned to carry "B" (the initial was embroidered on the girl's scarf) down the hill._

_And then she heard it._

"_Erica! Erica, we're coming!" Her sister's voice was distant still, but Erica heard it clearly._

"_See? Don't I keep my promises?" At that moment, Erica Hahn's body gave out and she collapsed. A white, snow-filled sky went black._

"Bailey!" Callie rushed up to where the petite resident was standing by the nurses' station. "Do you have any idea where Erica is?"

Bailey gave her an appraising look. "Wanna try that again Torres?"

Callie frowned. She wasn't, nor had she ever been, one of bailey's interns, but even she wasn't fully immune to the don't-mess-with-me attitude that got her so appropriately dubbed 'the Nazi'.

"Sorry…uh… I'm looking for Dr. Hahn. Have you seen her recently?" Callie waited patiently, silently hoping she had. Callie had searched high and low. Erica was nowhere to be found.

"No I haven't Dr. Torres."

Callie sighed in defeat. "Thanks anyway." She turned and started to walk away.

"Torres?"

She turned back.

"I heard Sloan talking about paging her for a consult about twenty minutes ago. You might want to ask him."

Callie's face lit up. "Thanks!" She ran off to find Mark Sloan, a slightly easier prey than Erica.

Dr. Bailey watched Callie practically run away. "People and their drama. Acting like a bunch of teenagers when they should be doing their jobs…"

"Ain't that the truth!" Lexie Grey handed a file to a nearby nurse and smiled in Bailey's direction.

Bailey graced the intern with one of her signature glares. Lexie immediately froze. "Right. On my way to save a life." She bolted.

"A bunch of teenagers…" Bailey shook her head.

"So, why peds?" Mark Sloan leaned against the counter and stared questioningly at the brunette.

"Excuse me?"

"Why'd you trade the OR for peds? Is it because you went all Fatal Attraction on Derek's hand? Which, by the way, not a good move… a surgeon's hand is as precious as his heart… can't live without it."

"Why are you a pompous ass? Is it because you decided to sleep with the entire nursing staff? Which, by the way, not a good move… they might refuse to work with you… oh, wait… they already did."

"Come on, Rose! I'm just curious. You shouldn't let Derek push you around like that."

Rose searched his face for sincerity. Mark didn't really seem like the shoulder-to-cry-on type. Especially not when the person she was hurt by was his best friend.

"Mark!" Callie made a beeline for them.

"Ah, saved by the girlfriend." Rose took the opportunity to escape Mark's questions.

"She's not my…" But Rose was already gone.

Callie stared after the nurse and then looked at Mark with a smirk. "Keep dreaming Fabio…"

"What?" Mark feigned innocence.

"Rose is the kind of girl who needs a knight in shining armor type like Derek. She doesn't go for guys like you."

Mark glanced off in the direction Rose had fled. "I don't know. I think she might have realized shiny armor ain't all it's cracked up to be."

Callie quirked an eyebrow nut didn't press the issue. "Bailey said you paged Erica for a consult."

"Turns out I didn't need her."

"So, you haven't seen her?" Callie was starting to get impatient.

"No."

"Shit!"

Before Mark could make some teasing remark about Callie's disappointment, Christina Yang passed by with a huge grin on her face.

"What are you so happy about?" Callie stared after her.

"Dr. Hahn has taken the rest of the week off. She pushed back the two surgeries she had scheduled on Friday and she left me in charge of her patients." And with that Christina hopped off, to spread her joy to Meredith no doubt.

Callie was speechless. Erica didn't take days off. And Erica most certainly did not take weeks off. Callie knew for a fact that the cardiothoracic surgeon hadn't taken more than a two day vacation in the better half of six years. Her life was her work. Whoever this mystery girl was, her presence was eating Erica up bad.

_What should I do? The girlfriend thing to do would be to go be with her. Hell, the best friend thing to do would be to go be with her. But…I really don't want to push her away. This has been such a touchy subject with her. And with the resemblance… it must be hard for her to look at me and not be reminded of…_

"What are you waiting for?" Mark interrupted Callie's thoughts with a hand to her shoulder.

She looked at him, eyebrows raised questioningly.

"Go ask the chief for a few days off. Go help Erica through whatever it is she needs to get through."

Callie tilted her head and contemplated the man before her. He looked like Mark, but he didn't sound like Mark.

As if reading her thoughts he shrugged. "Hey, she deals with hearts… I just don't want her to have a nervous breakdown because of unresolved issues while she has someone's chest open before her."

Callie wasn't buying it. She still studied him closely. Could he really be growing?

"What?" He gave her a self conscious glance.

"Since when did you become a good guy?"

He shrugged again. "Even armor that's covered in dirt, like mine, is still shining underneath."

Callie watched him saunter away with unbelieving eyes and ears.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i'm really trying to incorporate all the characters a little bit… though I really don't think I do them justice… this chapter was harder to write than the previous ones and part of me is still not satisfied… I might edit it some…


	8. Keeping a Promise

Callie had been to Erica's place only once before

Callie had been to Erica's place only once before. They had gone there after a long night of dancing. She lived on the fifteenth floor of a high-rise in down town. The kind of place that had its own parking garage, a fulltime doorman and an elevator attendant. They had been so tired that night that she hadn't remembered any of this.

15G. Ten minutes of flirting with lobby security, convincing him not to announce her presence, brought her staring at a black door with the wrought iron numbers and letter nailed to its face.

Callie lifted a hand, intending to knock, but she let it fall. Her intention was to catch Erica off-guard. She tried the handle and smiled when she found it unlocked. Of course there'd be no reason to take that precaution when visitors had to be announced. She stepped into a small alcove at the edge of a huge room, the living room. Anyone in the living room would not be able to see her yet. To her right was the hallway that led off to the bedroom, and before her was the one that led to the kitchen. She closed the door quietly behind herself.

Callie heard Erica's voice and froze. But it sounded different than the gravelly sound she was used to, younger somehow.

"Get that thing out of my face." Erica's frustrated grumble emanated from the center of the living room. Curiosity convinced Callie to take a cautious step forward.

"Oh come one Erica! Just answer the question!" Callie froze again. Maybe this whole surprise approach had been a bad idea. She really didn't want to intrude if Erica had company over.

"Erica is way too stubborn to get married. I don't know if a man could handle her. She'd be too intimidating. You know men and their testosterone fits. They feel belittled when their girlfriends are more successful or smart than they are. Erica would fight for dominance and I really don't think a man could handle that." The new voice, faintly traced with an accent, was one Callie recognized instantly. It reminded her of her purpose here and she walked into the living room.

Erica saw her immediately. Callie suddenly felt very exposed. She knew Erica was likely to be mad and she longed for the shadowed safety the small alcove had provided. But Erica surprised her by holding a hand out to her silently. She took it without hesitation and the blonde pulled her down onto the couch next to her.

A million questions wanted to explode from Callie's mouth. But Erica's attention was already back on the TV screen.

Brenna was there on the screen. She was just as beautiful as she had been today, but she looked healthier. She had a huge smile across her face, wearing a black shirt that had bride-to-be printed across the front. Next to her was a frowning younger version of Dr. Erica Hahn herself. Callie wasn't sure how old this home video was, but Brenna appeared to be in her early twenties, Erica in her late. So it had to be six years at least if not more.

"Give me that!" Erica reached out for the camera. Obviously she much preferred to be behind it rather than the center of attention.

The scene rocked as if the camera was being jostled. A second later, Callie silently gasped.

Callie had always been the pretty one. She was almost positive Brenna had always been as well. And Erica, well there was no doubt she was beautiful. But next to this woman, they looked ordinary, if not plain.

Her hair was golden and seemed to glow, though the room behind them was dim. Her eyes were blue like Erica's, though they were much lighter, ice-like in color. And what a smile! It lit up her entire face. She was entrancing to say the least.

"So, Kayla, tell us. Will you ever get married?" Erica's voice had a hidden challenge in it, as if she were challenging this woman to tell the truth.

Kayla looked at someone behind the view of the camera for a moment. "Well… I'd like to one day I suppose. If I met the right person I guess I would. I always thought it'd be romantic to have a best friend who I was unbelievably close to and grow old with them, and then… when we're both old, we realize that we were each other's soulmates all along."

Brenna's voice came instantly. "But wouldn't that upset you? You realize you wasted the time you could have had together? Isn't it better to either take the leap early or let it go?"

"No… If you spend you life that close, what does the label matter? Isn't that what a soulmate is anyway? A best friend?"

"Who you sleep with." All three girls exploded in giggles at Erica's joke.

The screen went black as the video ended. Callie sat in confused silence. Erica didn't say a word. Callie could feel she was tense. Her hand still clutched Callie's.

"We made that two days before Brenna's wedding to Brian Donovan. We were always doing that when we were younger. I have a billion of videos of the three of us through the years. That was our last."

"It was before her heart transplant?" Callie didn't want to ask a question that would bring up Erica's walls again. She was finally starting to open up.

"She had it less than a year later, during my second year of residency. It was almost nine years ago…she was twenty four at the time."

"Were you and her… were you two romantically involved?" Callie was scared of this answer. Did she have competition she didn't even know about?

"No… I've never been with a woman before." Erica's answer was honest, but she sensed there was more to this than she was letting on.

"So, who's Kayla? Were you guys like the three musketeers? Best friends for life who met when you were younger?"

"Kayla…" Erica paused. "Kayla is my older sister."

Callie felt the walls go up. That was the wrong question though it seemed innocent enough.

She put a finger under Erica's chin and directed the blonde to meet her eyes. She stroked the blonde's cheek with her thumb. "You don't have to tell me; we don't have to talk about this. Not now. But just know… you can trust me okay? You can let me in. I'm your best friend."

"Callie… you're so much more than that." Erica leaned in and kissed her softly. When she pulled back, she rested her forehead against Callie's and gazed into her eyes. "Will you stay with me tonight… _Can_ you stay with me tonight? I know you work tomorrow…"

Callie smiled and placed a gentle kiss on Erica's forehead. "I'll stay as long as you need me. I took some time off."

Erica looked at Callie and the tan beauty saw the question in her eyes. "Being here for you is my top priority right now. I'm here as long as you want me."

"I always want you." Erica smiled for the first time all night. She leaned in and kissed Callie softly on her lips. "I believe I made a promise to you."

Callie looked confused for a moment. "You did?" Callie searched her memory for some clue to Erica's promise, but she found none.

Erica smirked. "I believe it was along the lines of 'tonight… you're mine.'"

Callie's memory finally jogged back to early that morning when Erica had had her pinned in the locker room.

"I don't know if you know this, but I always keep my promises." The smirk didn't leave Erica's face as her hands slid under Callie's shirt.

Callie bit her lip. Now that this was actually happening, she was painfully aware of her inexperience. Would she be able to satisfy Erica? She'd never gone all the way with a woman. Sure, she'd fooled around in her younger rebellious days, but she had no concrete experience. She didn't want to disappoint.

"Will you make me another promise?"

Erica hesitated only a moment before nodding.

"Promise me there will be no expectations tonight. I don't want to disappoint you… I might be bad at this." Callie's fears were evident on her face now.

"Oh Callie, you could never disappoint me. But if it's what you want the I promise, no expectations."

That was all the 'go' Callie needed. Their lips came together hard. Both women stood, not breaking the kiss as they did so. They left Callie's shirt on the couch, Erica's on the coffee table, Erica's pants in the alcove, Callie's in the middle of the hallway, Callie's bra and panties by the bedroom door, Erica's undergarments at the foot of the bed… a trail of bread crumbs in the form of clothes.

Callie was pushed down on the bed. It was the first time Erica's lips and her lips had actually separated since they had started the whole undressing process. Her eyes took a moment to drink in Erica's nude form. Callie half expected to feel awkward, after all, a woman's body is substantially different from a man's and Callie Torres was quite fond of the male body. But to her, Erica's body was perfect.

Callie pulled the blonde woman to her, kissing her stomach until Erica's hands caressed her cheeks and the cardiothoracic surgeon bent down and kissed her.

Callie laid back and brought Erica with her. The warmth she hadn't realized had been missing returned as Erica's body draped easily over her own. Her lips became wild and began to wander, first to her neck, then to her pulse point, her collarbone, her shoulder. Erica moaned softly at each new spot Callie's lips found.

Erica's fingers explored Callie, every inch of her. They traced every curve of her skin, the lines of her face, the swell of her breast, memorizing everything.

It wasn't long before Callie picked up the hobby, discovering Erica with the pads of her fingers.

Erica was the first to venture into the unknown, tracing down Callie's hipbone and between her legs. She didn't even pause before entering her.

Callie, who had been silent through the exploration, finally broke the quiet with an encouraging whimper. Her own fingers traced the same trail on Erica's body and moments later, she thrust herself into Erica, receiving a satisfied moan from the blonde.

From then on, both women relied on their instincts to run the show. Rock this way and she goes deeper. Two hard thrusts and one soft makes her squirm. They spent hours reaching climax after climax just finding out what they each liked.

When they were both spent and the hour had grown late, they curled up in the blankets ready to finally bring their long day… their first day, to a close.

Callie's eyes were fighting to stay open. Part of her didn't want this night to be over. Tomorrow, they had to face reality again. She wanted to stay here in Erica's arms, untouched by the world outside the four walls of the bedroom.

And then Erica laughed. It started out as a chuckle but then turned into one of those deep laughs that shake your whole body.

Callie stared at her. "What's so funny?"

"You…" Erica paused as another laugh caught her. "You thought you'd be bad."

After that they both fell asleep laughing.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: sorry. I'm not big into details on the sex scenes. Not my thing. Thanks for the reviews. They make me feel better than I ever expected. Oh, and all the regular disclaimers apply. Not mine and all that.


	9. Everybody Knows Erica

Callie Torres hadn't been a morning person since she moved to Seattle

DISCLAIMER: not mine. never has been. Blah, blah, blah.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: so, I'm really not liking this chapter. I have rewritten it over and over but I just can't seem to get it right at all. So, I'm just going to post as is. Please be nice… I'm already criticizing myself enough for all of us. It's relevant though, I promise. I'm being overworked for the next couple weeks, so posts will be few and far between.

Callie Torres hadn't been a morning person since she moved to Seattle. Mornings were an unwelcome intrusion upon the sanctuary of voluntary unconsciousness. She was the type to wake up thirty minutes before she had to be at work and would slide in at the last second looking unbelievably put together, coffee in hand. Nobody knew how she looked so good, they thought she awoke hours early to get ready, when really, previous night preparation and practice were her best friends. Sunlight and her didn't get along anymore, despite the fact that she was from southern Florida.

But today was an exception. Callie felt small caresses on her face. Her first conscious emotion was irritation and she was inclined to swat away the intruder. But her annoyance quickly dissipated at she recognized the softness of Erica's lips and the previous nights memories returned to her. She smiled at the small kisses Erica was planting all over her face.

Regarding Callie's smile as an indication that she was now awake, though her eyes remained closed, Erica stopped her kissing, her mission accomplished.

Immediately Callie frowned.

Erica chuckled and resumed her kissing. Instantly, Callie's smile resurfaced.

"Good morning." Erica stroked Callie's cheek, her mouth hovering temptingly, inches above Callie's.

Reluctantly, the ortho resident opened her eyes. "Mmm… yes it is." She closed the distance between their lips without a second thought.

Erica pulled back, but smiled. "Since I have the next couple days off, I was planning a little trip. And I was wondering, since you've made yourself available for the next few days as well, if you would like to go with me." Despite her smile, Callie detected just the smallest hint of sorrow in Erica's voice.

She raised an eyebrow curiously. "Where to?"

Erica's smile just widened as she shook her head. "That, is a surprise."

As they sailed down Virginia Street in their rental car, Callie was taking in the casinos, neon signs already bright despite it being only mid-afternoon. She was fidgeting with her hair; it was wild and unruly from a severe lack of time before their flight. Even with their speed packing and racecar driver skills navigating the freeway, they still had to run through SeaTac to get to their gate on time. They had made it right before the gate closed. Callie hadn't even had a chance to glance at her boarding pass until they were already in the air.

She had been surprised to say the least when she saw they were going to Reno International Airport. Nevada? They were going to Nevada? Their destination brought back unpleasant memories from her past of her quickie Vegas wedding to George. And now, nausea surfaced as they passed chapel after chapel on their drive. She was over George, but it still stung a little to think of her failed marriage.

"Do you ever plan on telling me where exactly we are going?" Callie had to ask, since their option for hotels ran out as they hit I-80.

"Maybe… when we get there." Erica smirked as she answered. Callie knew she was getting off on her power. Damn her god complex!

"Vague much?" Callie crossed her arms across her chest. As they grabbed the highway westbound and the Sierra Nevada range extended before her, she felt cold, despite the car's heater being full blast. Snow was everywhere. Suddenly she understood why Erica had insisted on renting an SUV.

Ten minutes later they passed a small sign. "Now leaving Nevada. Please visit again." Callie read it aloud. Erica didn't even glance up. She already knew that sign was there. She'd read it a million times before. "Erica, babe…" At this Erica's gaze shot quickly to Callie. "Why didn't we just fly into California? Did we really need to take the mountain drive?" Callie wasn't a big fan of the wilderness. But in her defense, she'd never really had any opportunities in her life to give it a chance. She'd always lived in populated cities.

"Because the closest airport in California is in Sacramento, at the foot of the other side of these mountains… and we're not going that far." Erica started to roll down her window.

Callie's eyes went wide in shock. "Are you crazy? It's freezing outside."

Erica started to laugh and pointed just up the highway to a series of booths, a guard at each stopping each car one at a time.

"You have to pay to visit California?" Callie questioned curiously as they pulled up to one. The guard, in his pressed green ranger's uniform, bent down.

"Where are you… Erica? Is that you?" The young man took off his shades and gazed in wonder at Erica, as if he were seeing some amazing phenomenon.

Erica smiled, genuinely pleased. "Benjamin. How are you?"

"Doing good. I can't believe you actually came back. Mom's gonna flip! You're gonna stop by FC, aren't you?"

A guard from the next booth over cleared her throat. Benjamin stood. "Where are you coming from?"

"Reno."

"Have a nice stay in California ma'am." Benjamin nodded and winked.

Erica pulled away from the booth and into the steady flow of traffic.

Callie just sat their, jaw-dropped with wide eyes. After a few moments of silence, Erica glanced at her. Noticing her expression, she shrugged.

"What was that?" Callie pointed back in the direction they had just come.

"He's a guy I know."

"Obviously." Callie shook her head. It was obvious that Erica was not planning on elaborating any further on the subject and it frustrated her. She hated waiting.

They drove for almost an hour in complete silence. Callie was still irritated and Erica was thinking. She took the exit without really noticing she had; she'd done it so many times before, it was just second nature now. But Callie noticed.

They had gone ten miles up the road when they saw the sign for Foxtail Creek.

"Is that where we're going?" Callie tried to hide her irritation, but she was horrible at it. Acting had never been her strong suit.

Erica just nodded, afraid to cause an argument.

The sign had said they had another twelve miles. The tension grew between the two with each mile.

Finally a huge oak archway stood before them. Foxtail Creek was painted in huge white letters across the top. Callie expected them to drive through it, but Erica pulled off just to the left and up a small service road. Callie knew better than to ask where they were going.

The road ended at a beautiful two story log cabin. It was obviously where the camp owner lived. Erica pulled the car up in front of it and shut it off. Snow blanketed the ground everywhere. They sat in silence, both staring at the house. Callie was looking at it in wonder, while Erica looked almost guilty.

"Aren't you going to get out?"

"What?" Erica looked over, surprised to see her girlfriend already out of the car, holding the door open and staring at her curiously. "Oh, um, yeah."

She opened her door and slowly got out. They approached the steps up to the huge wrap-around porch, but before they could climb them, the door opened.

"Holy Mary, mother of god… Erica?"

Callie sighed. Everyone knew Erica around here.

Erica smiled again, but this time, it wasn't genuine. "Hello Gail. It's been a long time."

Gail smiled. "It's been eight years."


	10. Brylee's Lifesaver

DISCLAIMER: not mine

DISCLAIMER: not mine. belongs to shonda and abc.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: so expect a huge twist in the next few chapters, when we discover exactly why erica has such a problem with someone who used to be a really good friend of hers. and it's not the reason she gives originally. So, stay tuned for that. Thanks for all the positive feedback, it's much appreciated. And is anyone else completely thrilled with erica's naughty comment on this past week's episode? I come from a catholic family and my mom popped out of the kitchen and was all "mija, what ARE you watching? God's frowning at you." it was great!

"It's just up the trail here. You'll love this cabin. It's the one Erica always used to stay in when she came. It had quite the reputation for being the party cabin."

Callie followed Gail up a small trail to the east of the house. She had decided that despite the woman's Izzie-like cheery attitude, she liked her. She seemed wise. Plus, she held secrets to Erica's past… a past Callie was growing more curious about with each new fact she acquired. Erica was no help in answering any of her questions, so she saw Gail as her saving grace. And luck appeared to be on her side, as Gail had quickly shooed Erica off to the grocery store to pick up supplies for dinner shortly after introductions. She had instantly scooped up their luggage and led Callie towards their cabin so she could set down her stuff before dinner.

"Have you known Erica for long?" Callie was trying to mask her burning curiosity as casual conversation. Gail remained neutral. If she saw through Callie's façade, she didn't indicate it.

She smiled. "She doesn't tell people much about her past, and she certainly never brings anyone around here. You must really be special Callie."

She tried to hide it, but she couldn't stop the blush the comment caused to run across her cheeks. So maybe she was getting somewhere in her attempts to penetrate the fortress that was Erica Hahn.

"Here it is." They had emerged from the tree lined path into a snowy clearing. In its center was a minimized version of the main house. The cabin was two stories, but sizably smaller. The porch was small, but faced out down the hill, towards the many other small cabins that dotted the bottom of the hill. It was a beautiful view. Callie could understand easily why Erica liked it here.

"Come on in and set your stuff down. I'll give you the five second tour." Callie followed Gail up the porch steps and through the cabin's front door. Inside, it was open and light. A staircase dominated the west side of the living room, a fireplace took the east. She could see a kitchen beyond the spacious room. "There's a bathroom to the left of the kitchen and one at the top of the stairs, first door on the right. Erica's bedroom is to the left."

Callie was barely paying attention to Gail. Instead, she was examining the framed photos that covered every free surface in the living room. Younger versions of Brenna, Kayla, Erica, and various other people she didn't recognize stared back at her. She stopped at one of all three girls. They were joined by two boys, one substantially younger that Callie vaguely recognized and one that appeared to be their age. They were standing near a lake, obviously somewhere around here. They all looked so happy. But Gail's last sentence shocked her out of her thoughts. Erica's bedroom?

She contemplated Gail for a second. The woman's hair was light brown and curly, nothing like Erica's. But she was the right age, and her eyes were blue. "Gail… are you Erica's mother?"

Gail stared at her with wide eyes and then burst into laughter. Callie flinched. She wasn't aware she had said something funny.

"I'm sorry dear. I just… I have never heard that one before. Then again, it's been a while since someone around here didn't know the story."

"What story?" Callie was on the verge of passing out from not knowing.

"Why don't you come back down to the house? Erica's still at least an hour off. We'll get dinner started and I'll tell you the story of how Erica and Kayla Hahn entered my life."

Ten minutes later found Callie setting the table and Gail peeling potatoes over the sink. Callie's curiosity was killing her but she didn't know how to bring up the subject. She had figured Gail would just start talking, start explaining, but the older woman hadn't said a peep since they left the cabin.

"How long have you known Erica, if you're not related?" It was her question from earlier and she just now realized that Gail had expertly avoided it by flattering her.

That seemed to be all the push Gail needed. "Going on twenty two years now. She was sixteen. My husband and I had inherited this land from his father ages before, but we had just decided to build the house that year. We moved up here for our daughter Brylee. She was tired of Sacramento. The city was so congested. We had considered the coast at first, but we came up to Lake Tahoe on vacation and she fell in love with the mountains. She couldn't wait to get up here permanently. So, that winter, twenty two years ago last Monday, we moved in with Brylee and her older brother. I was pregnant with Benjamin at the time…"

"The guy in the ranger's uniform from the highway?" Callie didn't mean to interrupt, but she couldn't help it. Well, at least that cleared up one question.

Gail nodded, then continued. "I couldn't keep up with Brylee. She was energetic and always wandering around. She was eight, but small for her age, good at hiding. I was so big, I couldn't keep up with her and her dad commuted to Lake Tahoe for his job. Michael never took an interest, just complained about missing the city. We had only been here a month when Brylee disappeared. I had been resting; the baby was giving me trouble. She went out to play in the yard… and I told Michael to watch her. He did, until the phone rang. He ran in to get it, and when he returned, she was gone."

Callie was still curious as to how Erica and Kayla played into this, but she didn't dare push Gail when she paused. This was obviously not a story she'd had to tell anyone for a long time.

"We searched for hours, but she was nowhere. There was nothing for miles. It's twenty miles just back to the highway. She could have been anywhere! Then this teenage girl was running towards the house crying. She said she and her sister had been hiking and they found a little girl unconscious in the snow up by a lake. She had turned around and ran for help while her younger sister waited with the girl. We called an ambulance. The ambulance was still a half hour out, but there's a ranger's station about twenty miles east. We called him and he said he knew of the lake and would meet us there. So, we ran."

"Were you too late?" Callie's tone was soft. Gail's use of the past tense when referring to her daughter wasn't lost on Callie and she feared the worst.

"Erica always had the instinct to save lives, even at sixteen. She had taken off her jacket and wrapped it around Brylee for added warmth. We had trouble crossing the creek… it delayed us quite a bit. When she thought we weren't coming, Erica picked Brylee up and carried her. She made it all the way around the lake before she collapsed." Gail's eyes were sad and distant, but pride shone through them. Callie could easily see that she felt she owed Erica her life. "The ranger got there moments before we did. We helped him carry Brylee and a now unconscious Erica to the jeep he had parked at the bottom of the ridge. We piled in and drove off. When we hit the road, we met the ambulance. They took Brylee only… she was the more pressing case. The rest of us followed in the jeep.

"They were both hypothermic, but the hospital was prepared. They were used to hikers getting lost and nearly freezing to death. They went straight to work raising their core temperatures. The doctors told me Brylee had only survived because of the extra coat wrapped around her and the added body heat from the person holding her. Even before it was her job, Erica saved lives." Gail smiled. Callie could tell that despite the laugh she'd had over it earlier, she did really consider Erica to be like a daughter.

"But it didn't matter in the end though, did it?" Callie nearly dropped the plate in her hands at the intrusion. Erica was leaning against the doorway, grocery bags in hand, looking glum. Callie was relieved that she didn't seem angry about Gail telling her about Brylee. Erica set the bags on the counter before storming out in silence.

Callie set down the plate in her hands, moving around the table to follow her.

"Let her go."

Callie turned and looked at Gail questioningly. "She's upset. I have to go talk to her. I have to find out why saving someone's life hurts her so much."

"She still thinks of it as a failure." Gail sighed. "My daughter died two months twelve days later. She had leukemia. We brought her up here to die in peace. The doctors were only giving her four months anyway. Erica visited every single day until she passed. Every day! She promised Brylee she'd never leave, and she never did."


	11. Donovan Dinner Drama

Callie didn't cook

AUTHOR'S NOTE: so this chapter is more filler, you don't discover much, just a couple facts about the extent of callie's culinary knowledge, that boys will be boys and that there are mark sloan's in training everywhere. Plus, could erica's worst enemy be someone besides preston burke? Answers coming in the next couple chapters as callie finally confronts erica directly (and erica actually answers) and erica comes to terms with a life lost… reviews are always appreciated, but you know me… I'm not gonna beg

Callie didn't cook. At least, not unless a mean bowl of lucky charms counted. She was a big fan of the microwave movement… an entire meal zapped hot in four minutes or less… that was her thing. She hadn't been a homecooked meal eaten at the dinner table kinda girl since she left home years ago. Despite that, she had fun cooking (or trying to cook was more like it) with Gail. She took pride in what they were creating. Plus, cooking kept her mind of Erica and what she must be feeling. Gail had refused to let her chase after the heart surgeon, claiming she needed to sort things out for herself.

Though she remained excited about the meal they had prepared and trying it out on everyone, she was nervous about dinner. Would Erica even show up? She wasn't sure. But when she heard footsteps approaching the kitchen she looked up hopefully. Benjamin stood in the doorway, still in his ranger's uniform.

"Hey, Ma." He walked in and smiled at Callie, holding out his hand. "I'm Benjamin Donovan."

Callie smiled and took his hand, intending to shake it, but he grasped her hand and put it to his lips. She smiled politely, though the action reminded her of something Mark would do. In fact, Benjamin's entire demeanor reminded her of Mark Sloan. "Callie Torres."

"Pretty name to match a pretty face." Benjamin gave her a smoldering grin that she guessed was supposed to be charming the pants off her right now.

She was surprised to hear Gail groan before she could. "She's taken Benjamin."

Instantly his demeanor relaxed. He let go of her hand and his womanizer persona and grinned childishly. "The pretty ones are always taken." He shrugged.

Gail shook her head. "Pardon him. We're a bit secluded up here. It's not often he meets a girl who isn't behind the wheel of a car that can easily run him over."

Callie and Gail both laughed. She took a drink from the bottle water she'd been sipping on aimlessly while they'd made dinner.

He frowned at her. "So, where's ErBear?"

Callie spit out her water, her hand coming up just in time to prevent it from spraying all over their dinner. When she had composed herself, she stared at him incredulously. "What did you call her?"

"ErBear. She loves it."

"She thought it was cute when you were ten, Ben." Gail shook her head again, but smiled.

"ErBear… tell them you still like it when I call you that."

Callie spun on her heels so fast, she nearly knocked Erica over as she came face to face with her. She smiled and Erica managed a sad smile back. "Only if I get to call you Benie Wenie." Erica smiled at him, a challenging edge to her gaze.

"Okay, okay. ErBear no more." He held up his hands in defeat.

"Dinner's ready." Gail announced.

"I'll go get Michael." Ben turned and left the kitchen.

Callie put a hand on Erica's shoulder and was happy when she didn't shrug it off. It was a good sign. But also, she could have not shrugged it off because she was currently gaping at Gail.

"What is Michael doing here? Isn't there someplace else he should be?" There was no hiding the venom in Erica's voice. Callie didn't know who Michael was, but he was definitely a sore spot in Erica's history. But then again, Callie had yet to find out about anyone who wasn't a sore spot in Erica's shady past.

"He came home after his father died. He was worried that, with Ben working, I wouldn't be able to handle everything around here. I'm not exactly a spring chicken anymore."

"Gail… I didn't know he was sick… I'm so sorry. When?" Erica seemed genuinely sorry.

"About a year and a half ago. It was a heart attack. Unexpected." Gail frowned. "Michael's been a big help around here. I wish you'd get over it and give him a chance."

"You know I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Leave her alone mom." A new voice entered the kitchen. Callie looked at the new addition to their conversation. He was handsome in that wall street business man kind of way. he looked totally out of place in his flannel shirt and worn out pair of levi's. Recognition flared up in Callie's memory. He was one of the boys from the photo she'd looked at in their cabin.

He looked at Erica. "Hello, Dr. Hahn. It's been a long time."

"Not long enough."

Callie couldn't tell whose tone contained more resentment. Obviously the dislike was mutual.

"You two think you could keep it civil enough for us to treat our new friend here to a nice meal." Gail gestured to the dining room.

Michael and Erica moved towards the dining room, staring each other down the entire time. Callie followed, slightly biffed that her confusion was returning.

"I like ortho. It's not really the top choice of specialty for women, but I think that's part of why I like it." Callie was answering her ten billionth question of the night. So far, Gail and her sons knew about Callie's childhood, where she'd been on vacation, how she'd got interested in medicine, and now her career. The only subject they hadn't discussed was her marriage. And they only hadn't gone there because Erica had given them all a death glare the second someone asked Callie if she had ever thought about settling down.

"Surgery in general is a big men's club." Erica frowned. She hated that about being a female surgeon; that she was constantly trying to prove herself.

"It's like women can only be therapists or gynecologists." Callie agreed.

"Well I can't speak for everyone else, but I wouldn't mind having you play doctor on me Dr. Torres." Ben smiled and leaned back in his chair.

"Sorry, I don't work in pediatrics." Callie quipped.

Everyone but Ben burst into laughter. He scowled at everyone in turn, lingering, finally, on Callie.

She shrugged sheepishly. "No offense Ben… I just prefer 'em older." She made an impulsive decision to risk a glance at Erica, a meaningful glance.

It took less than two seconds for all hell to break loose.

"A woman? _The_ Erica Hahn is sleeping with a woman?" It was Michael who spoke up. His voice sounded more surprised than disgusted, though Callie felt his obvious disapproval.

She sensed Erica immediately going on the defensive. The tension in the air was almost tangible.

"Well isn't that ironic? You're such a hypocrite!" Michael had stood and was leaning slightly across the table as he spat the words at the blonde surgeon.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Erica stood too, rising to his challenge.

"You know exactly what it means."

"That's different!"

"Is it really Erica? They loved each other!" Michael's cheeks were flushing now, as were Erica's. Callie sensed this battle was a long time coming.

"Says her HUSBAND! Like you have any room to talk… you split them up in the first place!"

Callie looked to Gail for translation, but the woman held up a finger indicating she should wait a minute, let them finish.

Michael stopped. He shook his head, a look of regret flashing across his features. "Not any more." He turned and stormed out of the kitchen.

Erica rubbed her temples and turned, stalked out the back door, mumbling about knowing this had been a bad idea and needing to clear her head.

Callie watched them both leave. If it was even possible, she was more confused than she'd ever been. Who'd loved each other? Who was Michael's wife? Erica was homophobic? Her head was swimming with questions for the ten billionth time that day.

"He's really touchy about subjects regarding Brenna. Their divorce wasn't a mutual decision." Gail was trying to explain her sons behavior and Callie felt for the woman. She must be embarrassed, though she looked used to the argument.

"Brenna? Michael was married to Brenna… but I thought her ex's name was Brian?" Callie shook her head as more confusion set in.

"Oh, it is. Brian _Michael_ Donovan Jr. We just called him Michael so as not to confuse him with his father Brian Michael Donovan Sr."

Callie stared at her wide-eyed. It didn't explain much, but it felt nice to know something. She felt so out of the loop.

"Wait…" Ben tilted his head and looked at her thoughtfully. "Erica's dating a girl?"

Gail and Callie both regarded him warily, hoping he wasn't about to blow up too.

"He continued to stare thoughtfully, as if processing the fight again, piece by piece. The realization dawned on his face. "Oh!!" He stared at Callie in shock. And she was afraid things would suddenly get very awkward between her and the two allies she had left.

But Ben's expression broke into a smirk. "Hot!"

Callie tried to hold it in but she couldn't for long and she broke into laughter.


	12. If I was Your Maid of Honor

Callie was torn between giving Erica space and going after her

AUTHOR'S NOTE: so, yay, finally some answers this chapter. An explanation of the fight over dinner, plus insight into how erica and brenna met. And a tinsy tiny dash of fluff, because this is a callica fic after all. The next chapter is going to fill in the few remaining holes in the timeline of erica's past, with a twist. And… expect another twist when they get back to seattle in a few chapters. Loving the reviews by the way… thanks…

DISCLAIMER: all standard apply

Callie was torn between giving Erica space and going after her. She was her best friend first and foremost, and she really didn't want Erica to think that her not immediately following meant she was siding with Michael or anything like that. She only stayed long enough to help Gail clean up and then she was out the back door after Erica. She went to the only place she knew besides the main house, back to the smaller cabin.

"Erica?" She entered their cabin, looking around. There was no sign of the heart surgeon anywhere.

"Up here!"

Callie gave a sigh of relief at her voice. It came from upstairs, to the right. Callie noted that Erica sounded solemn, but not mad, and she took the steps two at a time. She found Erica in the last room to the right. It was a large bedroom. Pictures covered all the walls and the tables here too. Erica was sitting on the edge of a massive bed against the far wall. Callie leaned against the doorframe and glanced around.

"They slept in this room together." Erica saw Callie's curious expression. "My sister and Brenna."

"But she married Michael?" It was a question, not a statement of fact.

"We were all best friends, Michael, Kayla, Brenna, and I. Brenna was Brylee's roommate at the hospital. She was obnoxious and loud, but it was an endearing quality on someone so frail. While I would visit with Brylee, Kayla would listen to Brenna talk about her life back home in San Francisco. I thought she was a spoiled little rich girl at first, but one day they took Brylee away for tests and Kayla was too sick with a cold to come. So I was left to talk to Brenna. It was easy to see how Kayla fell for her. She only talked about that stuff to hide her fear. She knew it wasn't likely she would make it to twenty. She was only eleven." Erica stared off at a picture on the wall. Callie noticed a hospital room, two girls in one bed, smiling and happy.

"Brenna was released from the hospital not long after Brylee passed. She went home to San Francisco. For a year things went back to the way they were. Kayla went back to the east coast for school. We both agreed to go back each year to visit Gail and Michael on the anniversary of Brylee's passing. That first year, we were surprised to find Brenna already there. Gail let us stay here in this cabin. We all stayed in this room at first, like having a slumber party every night, giggling until all hours, making videos with Brenna's video camera. The next thing I know, Kayla calls me and tells me she decided against pursuing a medical career, and that she was transferring to UC Berkley. After that, they spent every day together. We all continued to come here for a couple weeks every winter, in honor of when we all met. Then, almost ten years ago, we came here and Michael proposed to Brenna. We all knew he liked her. Who wouldn't? She was gorgeous, despite being frail. And she had this wonderful personality. She accepted without hesitation. From that night on, Kayla moved into my room. She never spoke of their fight. I know there had been one. They were head over heels for each other; everyone saw it but them. They just kept claiming it was friendship, a very close friendship."

Callie couldn't help but smirk. Where had she heard that one before?

"I was sure one or the other would stop the wedding, but neither ever did. Brenna was ready and at the church on time. She walked down the aisle, said her vows, and married him. And the entire time my sister stood by as the maid of honor and cheered them on." Erica let disgust bleed into her tone on the last statement.

"What?"

Erica sighed. "I can't help but think that if it was me as maid of honor and it was you marrying Mark or some guy. I couldn't do what she did. I couldn't stand by while you, the woman I l… while you walked down the aisle."

Callie giggled.

Erica looked slightly stung. "What?"

"I think you would have to have a fight to the death with Addison before you could be my maid of honor in the scenario officially."

Despite her sullen mood, Erica chuckled a little bit.

Callie took the opportunity to cross the room and grab Erica's face in both her hands. She leaned down and kissed Erica passionately. Her way of thanking her for her honesty. Plus, the word she'd almost let slip had not been lost on Callie. Erica wrapped her arms around Callie's waist, urging her onto her lap, but Callie pulled away.

She shook her head and the blonde frowned in response. Callie giggled at her disappointment. She turned and pranced out of the room.

"I'm gonna start a fire. It's freezing in here!" Callie rubbed her arms for emphasis as she descended the stairs.

She expected Erica to follow her downstairs, but she didn't. Callie started a fire, deciding she'd follow when she was ready.

The cabin was dark now that the sun had gone down outside, lit only by the blaze of the fire. Callie sat on the couch and stared at the flames in deep thought. What did she know so far? Let's see… Gail met Erica when she was 16, when Erica saved her daughter Brylee. Brenna was Brylee's roommate at the hospital. Kayla and her grew close and a friendship was formed between all parties. But, out of the blue, ten years ago, Brenna accepts Michael's proposal, despite her obvious love of Kayla. Almost a year later, Brenna and Michael marry. Six months after that, Brenna finally gets her much-needed heart transplant. Erica breaks ties with Kayla, Brenna, Michael, Gail… basically everyone. She runs to Seattle where she lives eight uneventful years until she meets Callie. And on a sidebar, two years ago, the happy couple mysteriously gets a divorce. There were definitely some holes, but for the first time since Callie started getting to know Erica's past, she felt a little in the loop.

"I'm sorry."

Callie glanced over her shoulder. Erica stood at the bottom of the staircase, only half-visible in the firelight.

"For what?"

"I thought coming back here would be good for me. I thought it would help me heal." Erica came over and stood next to the couch. Callie held open her arms and Erica gladly sunk into them. Callie pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "Maybe this was a mistake; it's been so long, too long. I've change. I don't belong here anymore. Not like I used to." Erica's voice edged on hysteria.

Callie let Erica rant it out, and once she was done with that, she let her cry it out. Just like that day in the on-call room, Callie was just _there_ for Erica. And that was enough… for a while.

Callie didn't recall when the kissing started or when the blankets magically appeared on the floor before the fire (had they already been there when she walked in? she couldn't remember) or when their clothes were suddenly on the floor instead of on their bodies. But neither did she care. She just focused on comforting Erica, mind, _body_, and soul.


	13. Brenna's Crime

The room was decorated in white and pink

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm leaving on a mini-vacation tomorrow after work, so I won't be able to post for a couple days. That's why I'm posting two chapters in one night. I know I said answers this chapter and there are a few, but I left you with another cliffhanger. Sorry, but I have no more time to write. I open tomorrow… so, that episode of grey's was fabulous, was it not? Part where erica's all staring longingly at callie as she gets in the elevator and bailey's watching… and then bailey giving callie sex advice… priceless!

DISCLAIMER: you know the deal. Not mine. theirs. Boo.

_The room was decorated in white and pink. Callie hated pink; it was too girly. Callie Torres didn't do girly. Must be the work of Addison. She made a mental note to break one or two of her bones later._

_She looked to either side. Faces she recognized dotted the crowd, as well as some she didn't recognize. Grey, Stevens, Yang, her mother, the chief, Bailey, George, Kare… Wait, George? Who invited her ex?_

_She glanced down. The dress she wore was classic and pretty, a full skirt and, as she looked behind her, a train. And the gauzy thing clouding her vision must be the veil. _

_It occurred to her that she was walked, though she hadn't noticed until that moment. She traversed a carpet of pink velvet that stretched straight down the middle of the room. She followed the length of it with her eyes and a smile broke out on her face at what she saw waiting at its end. Or rather, who she saw waiting at its end. _

_Erica Hahn was there, uncharacteristically wearing a dress. Callie didn't care; she was still gorgeous despite looking out of place in the ensemble._

_Her eyes stayed on Erica as she walked step by step towards the altar. It felt like she had been waiting for this moment for so long. Suddenly George and her ruined marriage seemed so insignificant and small, and she was glad he was here to witness the happiest moment of her life._

_As she reached her destination, Erica held out her hand, and Callie was about to grab it when she was turned. Her father stared at her. Had he walked her down the aisle? Of course he had. She'd been so focused on her destination that she'd missed his presence. He lifted her veil and kissed her softly. "He's a great man mija." _

_She smiled as her father let the veil drop back into place, but then his words sunk in. He? _

_She turned back to Erica, who still held out her hand, and Callie realized it was for her bouquet. Shocked, she surrendered it and looked to the man at her right. _

_She almost gasped at Mark Sloan, smiling lovingly at her. This was all wrong. What was he doing in Erica's spot? She felt like telling him to move, but didn't. She couldn't find her voice._

_The minister rambled through the ceremony, the vows and all, and Callie played her part dutifully. But her eyes never left Erica Hahn. Why wasn't she objecting? She said she would! Well she'd just have to do it herself. _

_When it came time to say those two little words that would seal her fate, she opened her mouth, intending to give Mark a mouthful. He probably blackmailed her into this or something._

"_I do."_ Wait, no! You traitor! Damn mouth! _Callie thought as Mark smirked at her. _

"_I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Mark lifted her veil and began to lean down. Inside Callie was screaming, but outside she met his lips halfway._

Callie shot up as the nightmare fell away from her vision. Her breathing was erratic and her chest heaved. It was only an instant before Erica was sitting up next to her, eyes wide with concern.

"What's wrong?" Erica's voice had already kicked into doctor mode, because of course everything just had to have a medical explanation.

Callie just stared at her, her breathing immediately evening. Part of her wanted to call Erica a liar. The dream was still fresh in her mind, as was the sting of betrayal it had left in Callie. Would she really speak up if Callie walked down the aisle with someone else. Callie was so sure last night, but now all she felt was doubt.

"Just a bad dream. I'm okay. I'm fine." Callie tried her best to form a reassuring smile, and was pleased when it seemed to work.

Erica smiled back at her. "Good. I'm going to go take a shower upstairs and then what do you say about me and you taking a little hike? There's a place I want to show you."

Callie wasn't a huge fan of hiking, especially uphill (and around here, everything was uphill) but she was hoping to pry more information out of the blonde. Her walls seemed to be wearing thin and Callie wanted to take full advantage.

"How about _we_ go take a shower upstairs and then go for a hike?" Callie was already standing, letting the blanket she was rolled up in slip down to the floor. It was good the cabin was secluded. Anyone looking through the window would be getting quite the eyeful, just as Erica Hahn was.

Erica looked her up and down with appraising eyes. "Well when you put it _that_ way, how can I say no?"

Their shower was made long by extracurricular activities that had both them screaming for more. They emerged from the shower possibly dirtier than they went in, though neither of them minded much. Dressing was also a long process… as for every article of clothing Callie put on, Erica removed one. She finally had to threaten locking herself in the bathroom to change before Erica agreed to behave.

Fifteen minutes later they were trudged through the trees and the snow, Callie a little less enthusiastic than Erica.

"Can I ask you something?" Callie called up to Erica.

Erica was wary, but accepting. "Sure."

"Why did Michael imply that you were homophobic? Am I… is this like some experiment or something?"

Erica stopped and turned to face Callie. "Is that really what you think?"

Callie shrugged. "I don't know what to think Erica! You're my best friend one minute, and then we're something else, and then I go from knowing nothing about your past to be dragged into this twisted history you have with a patient at our hospital. I just want to know… SOMETHING!"

Erica sighed. "Just come with me to the lake and I promise, I'll give you answers."

Callie nodded. What other choice did she have?

The next hour was spent on the endless trails winding through the forest. When they made it to the creek, Callie was not the only one surprised to find a bridge across.

"This wasn't here last time." She walked slowly across, running her hand along the rail.

"Well, it's a great addition if you ask me. I wasn't looking forward to swimming today." Callie crossed and continued on. She just wanted to get to the end of this death walk.

Erica followed her, walking at an unusually slow pace, too busy thinking about the addition of the bridge.

When they reached the ridge, they were further surprised. Built into the side of the hill was a staircase of wood. Erica looked amazed. Callie had no reason to believe that this hadn't always been there and she started up. Erica followed again.

The weather was not yet cold enough for the lake to have frozen over, but the water was so still it appeared to be frozen anyway. Even though Callie had seen the place in the photos, her breath still caught at the beauty of it. It was almost identical, untouched by the years since the photo was taken.

"It's gorgeous." She turned to smile at Erica, but the blonde wasn't there. She glanced around and finally spotted her. She was off to the left, not far, on her knees in the snow.

"Erica?" Callie practically ran over, thinking she might be hurt.

Erica was facing a small stone. Engraved on it's face was: _Brylee Elizabeth Donovan July 6, 1978—December 3, 1986 Beloved Daughter, Sister & Friend_. Callie stared open mouthed at the grave of the girl from Gail's story. The full force of it hadn't hit her until she saw for certain the proof that this girl was gone. She was about to mutter her condolences to Erica when an identical stone not far off caught her eye.

She left Erica to read the second. Kayla Marie Hahn, January 9, 1967—January 28, 1999, A Soul Too Big For The World.

"It was an accident. A car accident. We had a big fight at Brenna's wedding reception that past summer. Months of not talking, longer than we'd ever gone before. She called me so many times on New Year's Eve, but I wouldn't pick up. Finally, she decided to come see me; she didn't want to hit the millennium without having made up. The flights were all booked up cause of the holiday. So, she decided to drive. It was a drunk driver." Tears fell down Erica's cheeks, slowing about halfway down as they began to freeze.

Callie rushed to her side, dropping down in the snow next to her, and wiped them away.

"I haven't been here since the day we buried her. I couldn't bear being here with all the memories. Plus, there was always the possibility of running into Brenna, especially now that she lived in a house in Tahoe with Michael." The venom returned to her voice as she brought up the two remaining members of their group of friends that were still breathing.

"Why do you hate her so much? She married a guy, realized it was a mistake and divorced him. I know it was too late for her to admit to your sister how she really felt, but that's in the past, sweetheart. Why do you still hold all this anger towards her?" Callie's voice was soothing, but Erica still froze in her arms.

"Because _she_ killed my sister."


	14. Divorce Over Cookies

"Why did Michael and Brenna get a divorce

AUTHOR'S NOTE: sorry this took so long. Writer's block. And I'm still not satisfied with the end of this chapter, but I've rewritten it too many times, so I'll have to settle. More twists to come when the girls get back and confront Brenna. There's still a few holes left in the story of erica's past. stay tuned.

DISCLAIMER: not mine.

"Why did Michael and Brenna get a divorce?"

Callie was sitting on one of the stools in front of the counter in Gail's cheery kitchen, nursing a cup of hot chocolate as the woman baked cookies. Michael and Ben were away in Tahoe for the afternoon and the older woman had asked her and Erica up to the main house. Erica had respectfully declined, for which Callie was grateful. The air in their cabin had been tense to say the least. Erica had refused to elaborate on the comment she had made at Kayla's graveside and Callie refused to talk to her until she did.

Gail pulled out her first batch of steaming cookies and set it on a cooling rack before popping another batch in. "I don't know. I don't think they even know for sure. I have my suspicions though."

"What are your suspicions?"

"Brenna was never the same after Kayla's death. It tore her apart, understandably. Michael did everything he could to pick up the pieces, but she never fully recovered. She felt the only thing she could do that Kayla would have wanted would be to make amends with Erica. Michael was… reluctant. He was convinced she needed to find peace with what happened before she could understand. It drove a wedge between Brenna and him. Each year we saw them grow farther apart and then Brian died and they just crumbled. She saw us all through the loss with a brave face and then a few months later, she was gone, left without a word. Next thing Michael knew, he was getting served with divorce papers. He loves her, so he signed them without a second thought. He wanted to do whatever would make her happy. We get a letter every few months, but we haven't seen her since. Michael still resents Erica for tearing them apart, even though it was never her fault." Gail looked sad, truly sad, for the first time since Callie had met her. Callie realized she must feel as if her family was slowly perishing… Brylee, Kayla, Brian, Erica, Brenna… they had all left in one way or another. It was just Ben, Michael, and Gail now.

"What about Erica and Kayla's parents? She just mentioned her mom and dad lived in southern California, but she's never told me anymore than that."

"She wouldn't. She doesn't know much about them herself really. They were socialites, well… they still are I suppose. They had Erica and Kayla simply because having a baby was trendy at the time. The girls were just accessories to their lifestyle. They didn't even come to Kayla's funeral." The contempt was evident in Gail's voice and it mirrored the anger Callie felt. How could they be so heartless?

After both their tempers had substantially cooled and Callie had polished off the last of her hot chocolate, she cleared her throat. "Can I ask you something?"

"My my, you're just full of questions today, aren't you?" Gail chuckled.

"This is the last one today, I promise."

"Okay, shoot."

"Why does Erica think Brenna killed Kayla?"

"That, my dear, only Erica can answer." Gail's voice dripped with finality and Callie knew better than to press the issue.

A few hours later marked the boys' return and Callie, knowing Gail would never kick her out, made up some excuse about a shower with her name on it to give them some privacy.

When she entered her cabin she felt faint traces of the tension from the morning still lingering in the air. She wasn't looking forward to the inevitable fight, but she figured the sooner she got it over with the better off she'd be.

Erica was nowhere in sight. She ascended the stairs and pushed open the door to Erica's bedroom. The blonde immediately looked up from where she was perched on the bed, genuine relief washing her features. "You're back."

Callie's first inclination was to smile but she reminded herself that she was indeed still mad at the heart surgeon and the smile died before it reached her lips. She mutely crossed the room and lay down on the bed, her back to Erica.

The cardio queen placed a hand on Callie's shoulder. She ignored it and continued to ignore it as Erica's hand slid slowly down her side and then to her hip. Erica was testing her limits and she knew it. But she had no intention of giving in. The cardiothoracic surgeon could touch, grope, fondle, or whatever else she wanted, but Callie was not going to give up. She wanted to know and Erica was either going to tell her or suffer the silence.

With her hand still on Callie's hip, Erica brought her lips to Callie's neck, her ear, her cheek. She seemed thrilled that Callie wasn't pulling away. She grabbed Callie's gloved hand and pulled her glove off finger by finger and tossed it aside. She kissed the tips of Callie's ice cold digits.

"I'm sorry. You accept my apology, don't you?"

"No!"

"Ha! I got you to talk to me." Erica seemed pleased with herself, almost smug.

Callie frowned, pulled her hand viciously away, and resumed her silent fuming, her back to Erica once again.

Erica sighed. "This is really hard for me and you are really not making it any easier!"

Callie sat up so abruptly, her face was now less than a foot from Erica's. "Why'd you even bother to bring me here Erica? We are barely starting to test the waters beyond friendship and you bring me here to what… to confuse me? Cause that's all you've been doing lately! I don't know anything about you, but I want to! I want to so bad! But you just won't even let me in!" Angry tears streamed from Callie's eyes.

Erica's lips were on hers in an instant. She fought the kiss at first, pushing back against the intrusion but Erica persisted and within a minute all the fight left her and she switched gears, pulling the blonde closer. For several minutes they stayed attached at the mouth.

Finally, Callie broke away. "I'm still mad at you."

Erica kissed Callie's forehead. "I know."

Callie laid her head against Erica's shoulder and closed her eyes, trying desperately to let go of all the anger she was feeling. She knew it wasn't Erica's fault. She didn't make friends easily; she wasn't used to letting people in. And Callie knew she was trying; she could _feel_ her trying.

She opened her eyes, lifting her head to look into Erica's eyes; they were endlessly apologetic.

"A compromise? I try harder to understand that maybe tearing down your walls is more difficult than I had originally anticipated and you stop laying this on me without an explanation. Now if you don't want to explain, then that's fine, but if I guess it, will you tell me if I'm right."

Erica nodded.

"Brenna was the drunk driver who crashed into Kayla." Might as well go for the obvious one first, even though Callie doubted that was true.

Erica shook her head.

"Let's see. You said Kayla was coming to see you because she wanted to make amends before the new year. That means the accident was before January. But she died late January, didn't she?" Callie shook her head. That didn't make sense unless….

"Oh my god. Brenna had her plugged pulled. Kayla was still alive, and Brenna removed her from life support." Callie didn't need a confirmation. She already knew she was right. That was the only answer that fit. Kayla hadn't even been under for a month and Brenna had the plug pulled, without Erica's consent.

Erica nodded, tears already brimming her eyes. She fell against Callie's shoulder and her body began to rake with sobs. A few silent tears slid down Callie's face too. Now that all the holes in Erica's past were being filled, she realized, that maybe she was better off not having filled them, not knowing.


	15. A Husband's Demands

"You'll keep in touch

AUTHOR'S NOTE: so I know this chapter is insanely short, but I have to go to the hospital in like a half hour for some tests so no more time and I wanted to get it posted before the episode of grey's tonight. In the next couple chapters were going to see callie confronting brenna and then erica confronting brenna, a couple twists, and some news from the mark front. So stay tuned, keep reading. Reviews always appreciated but not required.

DISCLAIMER: will never be mine. shonda's and abc's

"You'll keep in touch?" Gail opened her arms and embraced Callie. Over the final couple days of their trip, Gail and her had grown rather close. In fact she'd grown close with everybody except Michael. But even so, Michael and her had an okay understanding. She still didn't have the final piece of the puzzle, and therefore, she could only place Brenna as the villain. What was Michael's offense? Standing up for the woman he loved?

"Of course. You'll hear from me so much, you'll soon be wishing Erica brought me here." She smiled at the hug.

"What about me? You'll miss me too?" Ben stared at her hopefully.

"Of course. You're like the little brother I never had." Callie ruffled his short hair.

"Ouch! Well there goes all that was left of my hope to still you from Erica." Ben looked slightly miffed. He had not stopped regaling Callie with visions of their future together.

"Not a chance. She's all mine." Erica wrapped her arms around Callie's waist from behind and Callie fell back into her embrace with a smile. Erica and her had made leaps and bounds in the two days since the night she'd discovered Brenna's role in all this. She loved that Erica felt open enough to share their relationship in public _somewhere_, even if she was still keeping it under wraps at Seattle Grace.

Callie looked up from their rental car—packed full of their luggage, a couple boxes of old photos from Gail's attic of Erica's childhood that Gail had insisted she had no room for anymore, and a nice lunch Gail had made for them earlier this morning to eat before their flight—and took in the huge house before her. She knew she'd miss it. It wasn't Seattle but it still felt like home in a way. Her home away from home.

Michael walked out onto the porch and waved to her. Erica tensed and Callie instantly noticed as she was still in the heart surgeon's arms.

"I'll be right back." Callie turned and gave Erica a quick peck to hold off any objections she may have and walked off to say goodbye to Michael.

Michael smiled at her as she came up the porch steps. "You're so gonna get it on the way to the airport. She looks really mad."

"She's mad at you for calling me over, not at me for coming. I'll just have to listen to her rant about how you're such a jerk for a half hour." Callie shrugged with a smile on her face.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" Michael was all of sudden serious.

"For marrying Brenna? I'm sure she will, especially now that you're divorced." Callie furrowed her brow in confusion. She hadn't been aware that Michael was interested in making amends with Erica. He had never mentioned her before this.

"That isn't why Erica hates me. I was there the day Brenna decided to take Kayla off life support. I knew Erica had no clue about the accident. I knew she didn't know that Kayla was in the hospital. But still I stood by and let Brenna, let my wife, take Kayla Hahn off the machines that were keeping her alive. It was my decision to do it. Brenna refused to. She said Erica should know the truth, she should be there. But I said no. I told her that Kayla wasn't going to wake up. I convinced her to sign the consent papers. I convinced her to kill Kayla. And Erica knows it. Erica knew it the second she arrived at the hospital, forty minutes too late." Michael was not the type to cry and he didn't now either, though he was obviously emotional. Callie could tell he regretted the way he handled things, but he still seemed to think he did think he did the right thing.

Callie stared at him in shocked silence until a car horn blared behind her. She pointed over her shoulder. "I…I gotta go. Goodbye Michael."

"Bye Callie."

As Callie walked to the car, eyes wide, still trying to process the information that was just laid on her. Yes, she decided, she was definitely better off not having filled the holes in the story, she was definitely better off not knowing.


	16. Say My Name

"So, what did you and Michael chat about

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So this chapter was never going to be in here, but I wrote it in honor of last night's episode, which was pretty damn hot. my mom practically had a heart attack because we got home late and so I ran in and flipped the tv on right as erica and callie like attack each other in the beginning. I have more tests at the hospital today and then work. I wanted to post today again today, but it looks like luck is not on my side. Thanks to all my loyal readers for sticking with me. Reviews welcome, but still not required.

DISCLAIMER: shonda's

"So, what did you and Michael chat about?" Erica tried for nonchalance, but Callie knew her well enough now to know she was slightly nervous behind her casual mask.

Callie knew this was coming. The car ride from Foxtail Creek to the airport in Reno had been oddly silent. Ambushing her on the plane, where she couldn't escape, must have been Erica's plan all along.

"He just asked me if you were ever going to forgive him." Callie shrugged.

"What did you say?" Erica looked at her, more serious this time. So much for the nonchalance façade.

"I just said that I didn't know what his crime was. But then he told me and now…" Callie put a hand to Erica's cheek and leaned in close. "I really don't blame you for being angry with him."

Erica leaned the rest of the way in and their lips met. She deepened the kiss briefly but a passenger somewhere behind them cleared their throat and she pulled back. "You don't think I'm horrible? I don't forgive easy with people who only cross me slightly, but I'm even colder when someone betrays me. I don't take betrayal well. I'd be more likely to strike up a friendship with Yang, you know the type where we curl each other's hair as we talk about boys, than I'd be to forgive Brenna and Michael."

Callie frowned. "I don't know why you hold this against Brenna. Michael told me he had to talk her into it. I get that, in the end, it was her hand that signed the consent papers, but don't you think you should give her the benefit of the doubt?"

"Erica shook her head. "It's not that she signed the papers. She was sick, easy to influence, and Michael can be extremely persuasive when he wants to be. I forgive her all that. But what happened after, what she got out of it, makes me wonder if she didn't want it to happen. That's the part I cannot forgive."

"Did she inherit Kayla's things?" Callie raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Erica to be jealous of what someone else had.

"You could say that." Erica nodded.

"You should talk to her Erica. Maybe she's beating herself up far worse than you ever could."

"Yeah." Erica didn't sound convinced. "I'll think about that."

Callie sighed but let it go. Erica Hahn may be trying to let her in, but just because she was doing that for her, didn't mean the walls were going down for everyone.

When they walked into Erica's place four hours later, Callie and Erica both shared a mutual sigh of relief. They had enjoyed their trip into the wilds of California, but this was home.

"We don't have to be back at work until tomorrow right?" Callie asked casually as she dropped her bag on the living room floor. Her jacket followed seconds later.

Erica shook her head. She raised an eyebrow, still not catching on. "No, why?"

Callie turned, a devilish grin on her face. "Clothes off… now!"

Erica looked taken aback for a second. Then she slowly stripped before Callie, pulling each garment off piece by piece.

Callie was practically salivating by the time Erica was completely nude before her. She held out a hand to Erica, and the blonde took it. Callie pulled her close.

Erica reached for the button on Callie's jeans. Callie, already immensely wet and longing to feel the heart surgeon inside of her, had to use all her willpower to slap Erica's hand away. "Tonight is about you. I won't be satisfied until you're screaming my name."

Erica smiled just before Callie crushed their lips together. Callie easily slipped her tongue into Erica's mouth. Erica let herself be led to the couch, and pushed down onto it.

Callie straddled her hips, resuming her kisses. She traced the line between Erica's breasts with her tongue. Erica bit her lip and watched Callie's descent.

Callie's fingers grazed over Erica's nipples, already erect with anticipation. Her mouth ignored them and continued down toward the spot between Erica's legs. She gently spread them, gliding her tongue through her center. She dipped her tongue inside the heart surgeon. Erica cried out in response, a loud moan.

Callie glanced up. "That's not what I want to hear." She smirked, daring Erica to deny her the earlier request.

Erica smirked right back, challenge lighting her eyes. "If you want me to scream your name, you're gonna have to work a lot harder than that."

Callie smiled and dove back in, this time with slow, calculated swirls of her tongue. She switched between flicking her tongue across Erica's clit and sucking it. After all, clitoral orgasms are scientifically proven to be far more stimulating than vaginal ones and Callie was intent on giving Erica her best tonight.

It didn't take very long for Erica's first climax to hit, but she didn't say that magic word Callie was gunning for so the raven-haired doctor persisted, her movements becoming faster paced and more aggressive. Soon Erica's second orgasm hit, much harder than the first.

"Caaaallliie!"

Callie smiled as she pulled away and watched Erica's body rise and fall with her climax. She placed soft kisses on her abdomen until her breathing slowed and her heartbeat calmed.

Again Erica reached for the clasp of her pants but she shook her head, more under control now than she had been before. "You can rock my world later. Right now… we sleep. Tomorrow we have to face the curious glances and questions. Being on defense against the Seattle Grace rumor mill is exhausting. Believe me, I know. I want to be well rested."

Erica seemed about to object but a resigned look found its way to her face and she nodded. She followed Callie to her bedroom where she immediately collapsed onto the bed, amazed at how tired she actually was. Callie chuckled and stripped down, crawling into bed next to her. She pulled the covers over them both before snuggling up next to the heart surgeon.

"Thank you. For coming with me, even when I wouldn't tell you where I was taking you." Erica smiled at Callie, even though the younger woman's eyes were already closed. If Erica was tired, Callie must be exhausted.

Callie yawned, sleep already starting to pull her under. "I'd follow you anywhere."

Erica Hahn, the ice queen, was struck speechless, an unusual occurrence. She didn't regain her ability to speak until Callie was long passed out. "I love you Callie Torres."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this was a little more detailed than their first sexual encounter in chapter 8. I'm a little rusty I know, it has been many many moons since my RP days where describing sex used to be a rampant occurrence. Be gentle if you want to criticize, it's not my thing anymore.


	17. Stories My Patient Told Me

There wasn't any other feeling quite like waking up in Erica's arms, and Callie had been doing just that for over a month now

DISCLAIMER:: standard ones apply

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: so when I originally started this story it was supposed to be only seventeen chapters. But, here I am, submitting chapter seventeen and I'm not done. That's definitely thanks to all of my readers. So thanks for that everyone. I appreciate all the positive feedback. So this is the chapter we've all been waiting for… the two big twists. Where gail, Michael, and erica don't give answers, brenna does. The rest of the holes are about to be filled in. review if you want, I love it when you do. oh, and was anyone else disappointed that callie seemingly broke things off with erica to have mark show her how to go down on a woman so she could then get back with erica? I have to say that her candid enthusiasm when he agreed to show her the unpublished "sloan method" was hilarious, but I'm quite sad that it's going to be at erica's expense… cause you so know she is going to find out sooner or later…

There wasn't any other feeling quite like waking up in Erica's arms, and Callie had been doing just that for over a month now. Technically, she still lived with Yang, all her stuff was there and she still paid rent, but she spent most nights with the heart surgeon. If Erica was on call, whether she was too or not, she made some excuse to stick around and vice versa. She found herself edging down the path she'd taken with George, falling hard and falling fast. But this time, she had a feeling she might not crash and burn like she had before. They were taking it slightly slower; they hadn't even put the l word into play yet.

When they'd returned to work after their trip, as expected, the rumor mill was in full swing. Everyone had their speculations about where they'd been and the whole 'are they or aren't they' thing. Callie had been, surprising even herself, oddly unaffected by the whispered assumptions and curious stares. At first Erica seemed to be crumbling under the accusing stares, but soon her confidence took over and it didn't matter so much to her either. And a couple weeks provided new scandals that pulled the spotlight off them. Plus, Erica's signature death glare helped too. All the interns and most of the residents valued their job enough not to cross an attending, let alone one of Erica's caliber. So life had quickly returned to normal at Seattle Grace and though the didn't openly share affection, with the exception of the occasional loaded glance, or advertise their relationship, they weren't naïve enough to even consider that most if not all of their colleagues weren't well aware of their status as a couple. Callie had been tricked into admitting it to Yang. If Yang knew, Grey knew. If Grey knew, Stevens had to know, Derek too. Stevens would have told Karev. Mark had always known. Bailey knew everything. But they were both shocked to find that they didn't care if people knew. There had been a few sneers here and there, but mostly the news was taken with a grain of salt.

The only unpleasant difficulty of the past month had been Brenna Dasilva. Post op complications had kept her in the hospital all month. Erica still refused to acknowledge her existence, let alone visit her. Callie felt sorry for the girl but fear of upsetting Erica kept her away as well.

Until today that is.

"Torres!"

Callie looked up to see Bailey making a beeline straight for her. The sharpness of the diminutive doctor's tone had her instincts telling her to run but she knew that would be unwise as Bailey had obviously already seen her.

"Yes, Bailey…hi." Callie shifted uncomfortably as the chief resident halted in front of her and she scrolled through the last few days in her head, trying to figure out where she might have made a mistake that would make Bailey mad. She could think of nothing.

"I need your help with a patient."

Callie instantly relaxed. "A consult? Why didn't you just page me?" She could do a consult. Consults were good. Consults were part of her job. She felt relieved she wasn't in trouble.

"I don't need a consult. I need help. Specifically, I need _your_ help."

At Bailey's emphasis on the word 'your' the tension started to creep its way back through Callie's system. "My help? With what?"

"I have a patient who is refusing to give me some information. I need you to get it from her for me."

Callie's eyes bulged and she lowered her voice so just they could here. "You want me to beat it out of her?" Callie was incredulous.

"Beat it out of h…" Bailey looked at her as if she was crazy and then as if she was stupid. She gave a frustrated sigh, closed her eyes, and rubbed her right temple. When she spoke again her tone was tinged with the anger she was holding back. "I don't want you to beat it out of her Torres. She just is refusing to talk to anyone but you."

That one caught Callie off guard. She could think of a few male patients who might ask for her, but a female? And then it hit her. Brenna.

"No." She shook her head. "No! Absolutely not! I couldn't possibly! No!" Callie tried her best to fill her voice with finality.

Five minutes later she was standing in front of the door to Brenna's room. The walk over had been almost painful. She had felt like she was marching to her death, the hospital around her suddenly feeling more like a prison. But she couldn't escape when Bailey was walking silently next to her like the prison warden.

Bailey held open the door and Callie trudged in. She shuddered when the other doctor let the heavy door slam behind her.

Brenna didn't look the same as she had a month prior. The tan tinge of her skin had disappeared beneath the pale color of sickness. Her silky hair was now limp and dull. She seemed to have aged years. Her body seemed to be caving in on itself. She must be feather-light now. She had seemed so healthy just a month before when Callie had first met her. Now she looked as if she were dying.

In the second that Brenna's eyes met hers, she knew it was true. She was dying. That's why she had called Callie here; she knew the ortho resident was her only shot at making amends with Erica, at accomplishing the task Erica's sister couldn't before she died. It all made sense.

"Gail called me a couple weeks ago. She told me you and Erica stopped by for a visit. I'm happy Erica went back. She hadn't been to Foxtail since we buried Kayla."

Callie fell into the empty chair reserved for family. She had a feeling this chair hadn't been filled once for Brenna's entire stay. "I really loved it there. I'm glad Erica took me."

"She must care about you. She's never taken anyone there before."

Callie frowned. "Gail said the same thing."

"Gail told me Michael was there. He's handsome isn't he? I know Erica probably convinced you that he's Satan incarnate, but he really is the sweetest man I know." Brenna looked on the edge of tears, but they didn't fall.

"Why did you leave him?" Callie couldn't stop herself before the question left her mouth.

"I was in love with Michael Donovan once. He was everything I could ever want in a man. But I'm sure that it will come as no shock that I was always in love with Kayla more. She was always who I wanted to spend my life with."

"Then why did you marry him in the first place?" Callie felt ashamed that she was demanding the answers she sought out of a dying woman, but nobody else was talking to her.

"I proposed to Kayla. She never told Erica. I was so destroyed when she refused. I had this big plan to run off to Massachusetts. I always loved Boston. She thought she was being self-sacrificing by not marrying me. She told me I deserved better. I think she was genuinely happy when I accepted Michael's proposal."

"But Kayla seemed great. Erica always speaks highly of her. Everyone does. Gail loved her."

"Making Foxtail Creek into a camp was Kayla's idea. She set up a small foundation after Brylee passed. It funded the building of the children's camp. Kids come every winter and learn wilderness survival skills. Kayla knew Brylee would have wanted that. She really was the best person I know."

"So why did she think you deserved better?"

"Kayla never told Erica. Erica always assumed she left school in the east coast to be with me. Part of her did, I'm sure, but Kayla was sick. It started out as a couple blackouts that she contributed to late night cramming sessions. But they only got worse. By the time they found the tumor, it was too late. The operation only had a 22% chance of success. She just wanted to live as happily as she could."

"But the accident? Her life was cut even shorter…" Callie had begun to cry, though Brenna continued to remain composed.

"She was hit by a drunk driver. I was in the car. She was awake for a while. So I held her while the ambulance got there. In the ambulance she made me promise to find Erica and make amends with her. The last thing she said to me was… my heart was always yours, I want you to…" Now the tears fell and the last of Brenna's sentence was whispered faintly.

"You didn't tell Erica when she finally got there?" Callie was incredulous. Brenna had obviously been in a rotten state after losing Kayla, but Michael had been there too. He had known Kayla's condition too; that was the only explanation for why he had convinced Brenna to pull her off life support. Why hadn't he told her? And then he had said that he didn't want Brenna to tell Erica the truth? Suddenly Callie loathed Michael just as much as Erica did.

It took Brenna a second to compose herself. "Erica just saw red. She was screaming at me, at Michael. She had to be escorted out several times. She didn't give me any time to explain. She had just got Kayla's message… she was destroyed, possibly more than I was. Erica's parents… they weren't ever there for either of the girls. Kayla was all she had. She knew we killed her. She hated us."

Callie's pager went off, startling them both. It was Erica.

Callie looked at Brenna apologetically, but Brenna held up a hand. "Go. I'll still be alive when you get back. You will come back, won't you?"

Callie found herself nodding. Erica would kill her, but her heart went out to Brenna. She would not let this girl die here alone, no matter how severe Erica's punishment for her was.

Brenna managed a smile. "Don't let her give you too much grief."

"I won't." Callie stood and walked to the door. She paused with her hand on the knob. "Can I ask you one last thing?"

"Of course."

"Erica said she didn't blame you for pulling Kayla off, instead she blamed you for what you gained from Kayla's death. What exactly did you get from Kayla?" She turned back to meet Brenna's eyes. "Was it money?"

"No. She gave me her heart. She was my transplant donor."


	18. Supply Closet Confession

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: I'm going to be working back to back shifts over the next few days, so no posts for a while. This chapter brings another unexpected twist. It's kinda farfetched, but it's important to where I'm taking this story. can I just say I am upset with callie for stooping to a level that she was so against when she was married. Granted marriage is different than dating, but cheating is cheating. Poor erica, first time she let's down her walls and ditches the ice-queen persona and callie has too run off and sleep with mark…

DISCLAIMER:: shonda's

"Where have you been? I thought we were supposed to meet for lunch like a half hour ago." Erica didn't look angry but rather concerned.

Erica's tone hadn't been accusing, but Callie still flinched. She didn't want to lie, but Erica would feel so betrayed if she knew the truth. "I was on my way, but Bailey needed help with a patient." There, that wasn't a lie.

"Okay, you're forgiven then." Erica smiled. "You on call tonight?" Her tone was suggestive… they'd barely been able to keep it down in one of the third floor on call rooms two nights before.

"Uh, yeah." Callie nodded.

"Good. I'm due in surgery now, but I'll see you later." She walked off, leaving Callie behind to contemplate how to juggle visiting Brenna tonight and spending time with Erica.

Luckily, she was saved from her musings by a squeal behind her. She turned to see Rose and Derek. When Callie and Erica had returned after their trip, they had been surprised to see that Rose was once again a scrub nurse, back from pediatrics. Now she watched as she and Derek marveled over a shiny ring on a very important finger.

Callie's eyes bulged. Impossible! This didn't make any sense!

Just then Callie's pager went off. She glanced at it and as she followed it's direction and made her way to the pit, she mulled over the scene she had just witnessed.

Callie spent her day doing an elaborate dance between Erica, Brenna, and her other responsibilities. And when she needed to get away, there were always charts to be done.

Unfortunately, the more time Callie spent with Brenna, the more she realized that, if she had no obligation to Erica, she would probably really like this girl. She reminded Callie of a female Mark Sloan, the arrogance, the dirty humor… although she lacked the whole sleeping around half. But she was also genuinely sweet and caring. Every time Callie went to see the dying girl, she stayed just a few minutes longer.

"Callie!"

Both Brenna and Callie looked up as Mark stuck his head in the door.

"Oh, hello. I don't believe we've met. I'm Dr…" Mark came into the room, smiling at Brenna.

"Sloan." Brenna nodded. "So you're the one all the girls fawn over." She gave him a long look from head to toe. "Hmm… I thought you'd be… well, prettier."

Mark's eyes bulged and Callie had to stifle a laugh.

"Excuse me, but I am too pretty!"

"No offense, but I'm literally falling apart here and I'm still prettier than you are."

"Pretty enough for Callie…" He looked smug.

"Callie!" Brenna turned to the resident with a smile. "You are too sweet… I didn't know you did charity cases."

Callie's faced was burning with the laughs she was holding back and Mark's face was burning with the onset of his temper.

"And if you ask me Dr. Sloan you could certainly use a self-esteem booster. I mean… you're arguing with a sick patient about whether or not you're pretty…" Brenna frowned sympathetically.

Mark's temper seemed about to flare up, but he instantly cooled down.

"Dr. Torres, may I speak with you?"

Callie had finally swallowed back her laughs, though a smile was still on her face. "I'll be back later tonight."

Brenna nodded and Callie followed Mark out the door.

When they were far away, Mark pulled Callie into an empty supply closet.

"Really romantic Mark, but I'm not in the mood." Callie's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Did you see it?" Mark's eyes practically bulged as they had when Brenna had told him he wasn't that pretty.

"See what?" Callie was a little worried. Was there something she'd missed?

"Rose's…"

"Ring?" Callie cut him off. "I know! Why didn't you tell me there had been a serious downfall in the McDreamy-Grey empire? I mean you are his best friend after all… you had to know! You really need to talk him out of it though! Rose is sweet and she doesn't deserve to be rebound girl. I am the poster child for failed rebound marriages for crying out loud!" Callie continued to ramble but Mark was shaking his head. "…pretty, too pretty and sweet like I said, but… why are you shaking your head at me?"

Mark actually looked kind of scared. "Meredith and Derek are fine. He's not back with Rose."

Callie frowned. "Well, I heard it through the grapevine that she's been seeing a surgeon all month, that that's why she came back. But if not Derek, then who? There's obviously something between Hunt and Yang, so he's out. It's not Derek. Karev seems content with Stevens, but he could be sleeping with Rose on the side I suppose. But he would never propose! The chief's already married so he's out. She's not the type to go girl, but then again, I wasn't that type either, and look at me now. It couldn't be you. If there were ever a lifetime bachelor it would be you."

Mark flinched at her statement and hoped she wouldn't notice. But with their close proximity in the stuffy supply closet, there was no way she could not.

"I didn't mean to offend you Mark. I'm sure you'll find someone someday, but you just aren't really monogamy oriented…"

"Callie…"

"I mean I guess you would have gone down that route with Addison, but now…"

"Callie!"

"What?" Callie focused on him for the first time.

"I'm saying something here…"

Callie's eyes grew wide at the familiar statement. It wasn't so long ago she had said those exact same words to her best friend before kissing her. Now, Mark was saying them, to her. She froze. Mark wouldn't try anything would he?

"I just wanted to say…"

The tension only built in Callie's body. She was frozen in place, staring at him.

"I just wanted to say…"

Run, stupid, run! Callie's brain was shouting at her, but she couldn't move as Mark leaned forward.

"George and Rose are getting married." Callie squeaked out the words in an attempt to stop Mark from kissing her.

Mark shook his head. "If you'd let me finish! I just wanted to say that I really meant what I said about turning over a new leaf. I gave Rose that ring. I proposed!"

Callie's eyes shot open wide before the room went black around her.


	19. What is it With Hahn Women?

DISCLAIMER:: you know it's not mine...

"Hey." Callie didn't look up as Erica entered the on call room. Her back was too the door. She was still reeling from Mark's news. She wasn't quite sure why she let anything surprise her anymore. She thought George was one of those really good, honest guys and he had ended up cheating. She had thought she was into guys, only guys, and here she was in love with a girl. But Mark was a certainty, her assurance. If all failed with Erica, he would still be there. He was her friend, one of her two best friends, and he hadn't even told her.

"You okay?" She didn't hear the concern in Erica's voice, didn't process it. She turned over and was up off the bed in a second, her lips crashing hard against Erica's.

Erica was taken off guard, but she wasn't about to object. In fact, she was rather turned on by Callie's sudden ferocity.

Callie pulled and tugged at the older woman's scrubs. She had to get down to skin she could kiss, lick, or suck. She needed sex and she needed it bad. With the exception of surgery, it was the only way she knew to clear her mind and she desperately didn't want to think right now. She couldn't think about it, about the happiness in Mark's eyes, about Rose staring down at her ring. She didn't want to think about it. And she didn't exactly see a body lying in an OR just waiting to be operated on.

Callie almost started to cry when Erica pushed her away. "Callie, baby, tell me what's wrong. You seem upset."

"Just shut up and kiss me." Callie pulled Erica with her to one of the beds, pulling them both down onto it and crushing her lips against the heart surgeon's once more. This time Erica bent to Callie's will and she didn't pull back again until hours later when they were both panting and drained of energy.

Callie fell asleep in Erica's arms, just as she had all those other nights, and for a moment Mark didn't exist. Both women's minds were only filled with each other.

Callie woke a couple hours later to a dark room. Disoriented from sleep, she didn't instantly register where she was, but she felt familiar arms around her. She knew she could be in the seventh circle of hell and she'd be okay if she was in Erica's arms. As her eyes adjusted, she took in the on call room. Of course she was at the hospital. Did she ever leave?

Reluctantly she pulled herself from Erica's embrace, dead careful not to wake the sleeping heart surgeon. For a second she felt a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature in the little room.

She slipped out, creeping down the hallway until she was sure she was far enough away that normal footfalls wouldn't alert her girlfriend's sensitive hearing.

It didn't take long to make it up to Brenna's room. Callie was sure that sleep would be tempting in the girl's condition, so she was surprised to find her wide awake.

Brenna smiled as she walked in. "I was waiting for you."

Callie smiled back. "Sorry. I've been kinda on edge since the last time I was in here."

Brenna frowned. "Don't tell me Sloan tried something."

Callie shook her head and went to sit in her usual spot on the chair by Brenna's bed. "No. He's getting married."

"You seem disappointed. What? Is the girl like a total monster or something?"

"No. She's actually really nice and very good at her job, though she did stab Derek on accident awhile ago, after they broke up."

"She stabbed him?" Brenna's eyes grew wide.

"It was an accident!" Callie smiled. All day Callie had told Brenna the stories of all the staff, including her own divorce, a situation with which Brenna sympathized.

"So. She's nice and he seems happy right?"

Callie shrugged. "I guess. I didn't really stick around long enough after he told me to ask him how he felt about the whole situation."

"So what's the problem? He's your friend. You want him to be happy, don't you?"

Callie thought it over. Of course she wanted Mark to be happy. Even dirty man-whores like him deserved to be loved. So what _was_ her problem?

"You like him." It wasn't a question.

Callie started to shake her head, but then nodded. "It's not like I want him or anything. He's just my net. If things fail with Erica, if we don't make it, he was always going to be something to break the fall. If she hurt me, he would be there to…well… screw the pain away, for lack of a better term. But now…"

"You don't have anyone to run to if Erica leaves you. You've made a fatal error. She's not only your lover, but your best friend too. If you lose one, you lose the other. It's one of the best and worst situations to find yourself in. It can be the best relationship, because you're already so close that you have all the elements of a relationship, the love is already there, you already know them and they know you. But if it doesn't succeed, it can be the hardest fall you'll ever take."

Callie could see the distance in Brenna's eyes. Her mind was on Kayla and her regrets, and Callie kept quiet and let her thoughts drift.

Finally, Brenna focused on her again and smiled. "But it's a chance you should always take. The ones that hurt the worst were always the best. I wouldn't trade my time with Kayla for anything and I know you'll feel the same way about Erica, if you don't already."

Callie thought about that. If things ended badly with Erica, would she regret kissing her that night in front of the hospital? She wasn't sure.

Brenna laughed. "What is it with you and me falling for those Hahn women?"

Callie smiled and shook her head. "They sure do have an addictive quality about them, don't they?"

"So, when's the big day?"

Callie's stomach felt queasy now that the subject was directed back to Mark and this wedding. Then a thought smacked her right between the eyes. It was so obvious, she was amazed she hadn't seen it before. "It's a shotgun wedding!"

Brenna tilted her head curiously at a suddenly elated Callie.

Callie was all happy now. "Don't you see it? She's pregnant! That has to be it. The man-whore finally slipped up!"

"You seem really happy that somebody you claim not to be in love with is being forced into getting married rather than just choosing to get married."

"Well, it's like this… if Mark gets over me that fast… Erica could too. I need assurance here."

"Well there's a difference between Mark and Erica. Mark was using you for sex. Erica's not. Believe me, I've known her for over twenty years. She's not the type who gets into relationships with the intention of getting out someday."

Callie smiled. "Thanks. You know… you're not as evil as Erica thinks you are."

Brenna gave an unsure smile. "Thanks… I think."

"No. You really are becoming a surprisingly good friend."

"I'm not a bad person. I just made a few mistakes in my time. I… never should have let Kayla drive. I never should have gone through with the wedding. I regret a lot of the things I've done and I pay for those mistakes every day." Tears invaded the brunette's eyes.

Callie was startled by Brenna's tears. She hadn't meant to upset her.

"I have to live every day with HER heart beating for me. She died… so I could live. Do you know how much that HURTS?" The tears were coming down in a torrent now.

"It should!"

Callie's eyes went wide as she looked over the back of the chair to see Erica, her arms crossed, staring angrily at the girl on the bed.

Brenna, too, was stunned into an uncomfortable silence. Neither of them had noticed the blonde walk into the room.

"Callie…" Callie shuddered at the way she said her name, like it put a bad taste in her mouth. "Can I please speak to you outside?"


	20. The Ultimatum

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: to answer the flood of similar questions I've been getting in PM, yes I did know brooke smith was departing. And as for my theory as to what this means, I think it's blatantly obvious. In a pre-season article shonda wrote that mark would find love as a result of an unexpected twist. Well erica leaving seattle grace without so much as a word of farewell sounds like an unexpected enough twist if you ask me. I think there are setting the stage for callie and mark. And the foreshadowing in last week's episode as sloan so gallantly defended callie's honor "callie torres is not cheap wine". But next week is bringing in a new intern from meredith's past as well as a new surgeon so sources say, so we'll see what comes of that. but if the mark/callie route is pursued I do believe erica might make an appearance in later episodes, a guest spot meant to place doubt in callie's mind. Now, that I've answered the questions I've been pressed with, this chapter was completely different but I totally rewrote it after last week's episode. I am now taking a completely different path to the end of this story. but don't worry… I'm big on happy endings.

DISCLAIMER:: not mine. if it was erica would still be there.

Callie knew she was busted, finished, dead. She'd been caught red handed. She had fraternized with the enemy. It was a great crime in Erica's mind, she knew, a great betrayal. She followed Erica through the halls silently, a child who knew she was about to get a punished.

When they entered the on call room that had come to be their sanctuary, Callie was prepared for Erica's wrath. She had filled her mind with defenses and apologies on the way over. She was not prepared for her pain, but that's exactly what she got. When Erica finally turned to face her there were tears in her eyes, but no hint of the burning anger Callie had thought would be there.

Callie frowned. She opened her mouth to apologize, but no words came out.

"How dare she speak about Kayla like she loved her?"

Callie was shocked at the accusation that left Erica's mouth. How could she even say that?

"All she's ever done is love Kayla!"

"How can you say that? You don't even know her! Talking to her for ten minutes isn't classified as knowing her. She stopped loving my sister the moment she walked down the aisle with Michael Donovan."

Callie remained quiet. She wasn't about to admit how much time she'd actually been spending with Brenna. But Erica wasn't stupid… she read Callie's silence for exactly what it was.

"This isn't the first time you talked to her?!" Well there was the anger she'd been expecting.

"She's not the enemy!" Callie felt the need to defend her new found friend.

"She took my sister's heart!" The tears began to pour from Erica's eyes.

"Your sister gave it to her… she always wanted her to have it." Callie's voice was soft, soothing.

"It's unfair! It's so unfair!" Callie saw the breakdown mere seconds before it happened and she was there to catch Erica as she began to collapse under the emotional weight. She led her to the bed they'd shared less than an hour before. Erica buried her face against Callie's chest. Callie searched for the right words to comfort her girlfriend, but came up blank. But then a long forgotten promise popped into her head.

"Yes. I almost forgot to tell you that."

Erica looked up, tears still silently rolling down despite the confused look on her face. "What?"

"Brenna, back before we went to California, told me to tell you yes. So… yes. She said you'd know what it means."

Erica's body immediately went rigid. She pulled out of Callie's arms. Her eyes studied the ortho resident long and hard, her lips falling into their normal hard, thin line.

"If I asked you to stop talking to her, would you?" Her voice held a note of authority she usually reserved for second year residents like Yang and Stevens. She meant business.

Callie had to think hard about that. She should respect Erica, as her girlfriend. But she didn't blame Brenna now that she knew the truth, and she believed Erica wouldn't either if she just gave in and talked to the girl for an hour. She would not let Brenna die alone. "No." It was hard to say that word to Erica, but she had no other choice.

"And if it was her or me? Would that change your mind?" Erica set her jaw. Callie knew she was serious.

Callie leaned in and placed a slow burning kiss on Erica's lips, possibly the last. She pulled back. "No." This time she had to force the word past her lips; it hurt to say it. But she had to do what she believed was right.

Erica stood. "I guess you've made your choice then." She walked towards the door.

"You should talk to her Erica." Callie frowned.

Erica kept for the door without hesitation.

"She's dying Erica!" Callie stood with her last attempt to stop her.

Erica hesitated with her hand on the door. It was barely a second's pause, but it seemed like an eternity. An eternity for Callie to stop her, an eternity for Erica to turn around. But neither did.

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Callie was still on call, though her emotional state left her nearly useless. Deep down she had known Erica would leave her over this. She had known it would come to an ultimatum. And her choice had been Erica up until the moment she'd actually been faced with the choice.

Her first instinct was to find Mark, if he was still in the hospital, for a good episode of mind clearing. But that wasn't an option now. Not anymore. So she stayed in the on call room, just in case Erica came back… hoping Erica came back. If Erica did come back to mend things and found her with Mark or worse… with Brenna, there would be no chance of repairing their relationship.

So silence was her only companion for hours until a sound she'd been dreading and praying for at the same time rang out. Her pager.

She bolted down to the pit, suddenly eager.

"What do we got?" She asked the nurse who paged her, feeling the worries in her head blur.

Ten hours and one complicated surgery later, she shuffled into Yang's apartment. It felt foreign to think of it as her apartment, even after she'd lived here for months. It couldn't be home. When she thought home, all she could think of was Erica. Not her place, but just her. She felt like a stranger at Yang's.

Yang was sitting on the couch, lost in thought.

"Hi." Callie hadn't spoken to Christina in days. Their friendship had been dwindling since she got involved with 'Attila the Hahn'.

Yang looked up, genuinely surprised.

"Picking up some clothes?"

"No… sleeping, if you get off my bed." Callie let her purse fall to the floor by the couch.

"Trouble in paradise?" Yang seemed smug. She knew no one could love Hahn for long.

"More like paradise lost." Callie flopped down next to her on the couch. "We broke up."

"Well you're better off without her anyway."

Callie smiled to herself. It was nice to see a softer side of Yang.

Callie sighed. "I had a suicide case today, a jumper. Landed feet first. Every bone in each leg was just a mess."

Yang glanced curiously at her unenthused expression. "Isn't that like the holy grail of ortho?"

"The surgery was great and helpful to get Erica out of my mind, but his siblings will be here tomorrow and I have to explain to them that their brother tried to end his life, and as a result of that attempt, he'll most likely never walk again."

"Bummer." Yang's tone suggested she thought the surgery was worth it.

But unlike Yang, Callie had never had much of a robotic mode. She felt the things she said, especially to the families of patients. And she was NOT looking forward to tomorrow's task.

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Callie stood by the nurses' station. It was early afternoon already and her patient's brother and sister still hadn't showed. She was glad. She was groggy after a night of restless sleep that she contributed to a combination of the stress of anticipation and the lack of a presence she'd become so accustomed to.

"Callie!" Yang walked up to her, Meredith Grey in tow. Those two had been attached at the hip lately. "Have you seen _him_ yet?"

"Who?" Callie glanced around out of habit.

Meredith pointed down the hall. "Him."

Callie turned. Bailey was down at the other end speaking to a man. But not just any man; the most gorgeous man she'd ever seen. He was the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. And he made McDreamy and McSteamy look plain. And she felt a faint hint of recognition.

"Who is he?"

Yang and Grey both looked at her like she was crazy. "Ethan West." They breathed together.

Callie was oddly disturbed by her colleagues acting like giddy teenage school girls, especially when she didn't recognize the name.

"Oh, look, Bailey's pointing towards us."

The man smiled down at Bailey and then set off, coming in their direction. All three female surgeons froze as he came to a halt before them.

"I'm looking for a Dr. Torres."


	21. Seattle's Newest Charmer

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: sorry, this is a short chapter. And to answer everyone's concerns, no I am not kicking erica out of my fic, nor am I ending her and callie's relationship for good. Believe me, the road is going to be a little bumpy for them in the upcoming chapters, but they're going to survive what my crazy little mind cooks up for them… together. Just be patient. Good things come to those who wait.

DISCLAIMER:: not mine. never has been.

Callie couldn't find her voice, so she just lifted a finger in indication. Grey and Yang stared at her enviously. She still didn't recognize the guy, though she felt a small pang of familiarity.

"Ethan West." His extended his hand to her and she took it. He shook it firmly as a smile lit his face; his hand lingered just a moment too long, a fact that wasn't lost on either Christina or Meredith.

Callie just smiled back and nodded, trying her hardest not to get lost in the charm this stranger exuded. "Dr. Callie Torres. And these are my colleagues, Dr. Yang and Dr. Grey."

"Any relation to Dr. Ellis Grey? The resemblance is definitely there. You must be her daughter." True curiosity crossed Ethan's face as he took in Grey.

Meredith nodded; it was the first time Callie had ever remembered seeing her happy about being recognized by her mother's fame.

"I researched your mother's work for my part. She's a very talented surgeon."

"Was." From Grey's tone, you wouldn't believe she was the least bit sad.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I hadn't heard she passed."

"Ahem. What can I do for you Mr. West?" Callie wasn't going to stand around for pleasantries; she still had work to do.

"Oh yes, I received a call yesterday that my brother was admitted. I was told you are his doctor."

Callie's heart fell. This was the moment she had been dreading since the previous day. It was only made worst by the fact that this guy had the Sloan-like swagger, a trait that she had a history of responding to.

"If you follow me Mr. West, I'll take you to your brother." Callie rolled her eyes at the two doctors next to her in an effort to establish that she thought their behavior was foolish. However, in her mind, she was swooning over this guy just as much as they were.

From the waist up, Nathan West didn't look to be physically harmed. With the exception of a few scrapes and scratches, he looked fine. But below the waist was an entirely different story. Both of his legs had to be suspended to avoid movement. He still hadn't regained consciousness, which is probably why the suicide story was more theory than cold hard fact at this point.

Ethan said nothing, just walked around the bed to his brother's side, a mournful look on his face.

"Your brother was brought in yesterday, after a four story drop from a freeway overpass. Both his legs were shattered. I did my best to repair them, but…" Callie trailed off. This was the party she hated.

"He's not going to walk again." It wasn't a question. She realized Ethan was probably smart enough to fill in the blanks.

There was an uncomfortable silence for several minutes. Just when Callie was about to suggest leaving them alone for a while, he looked up. "Was he pushed or did he jump?"

"What?" She was taken aback by the unorthodox question.

"My brother isn't exactly known for his cheery disposition, Dr. Torres. He jumped, didn't he?"

Callie looked at Nathan's unmoving body, shaking her head. "We won't know for sure until he wakes up, but that is the assumption, yes."

"I thought so." Ethan's attention went back to Nathan. "Why'd you do it buddy? You could have called me... you could have let me know. I never realized how bad it had gotten. I'm sorry."

"Well, Mr. West, if you'll excuse me, I have to go attend to another patient. But I'll be back in a little bit to check up on him." She knew now was the moment to bow out gracefully, let Ethan process all this. She retreated from the room, not breathing until she was a few paces down the hall.

"Dr. Torres!" She stopped dead in her tracks, but not because Ethan had called out after her, but because twenty feet in front of her, wrapped up in some file, was Erica. Or at least she was wrapped up in the file until she too heard Ethan's call. But thankfully, Ethan stepped into her line of vision before she met Erica's eyes, giving her some excuse to not look at Erica.

Ethan smiled at her. "It looks like I'm going to be in Seattle for a while. If you're not busy tonight, I'd like to take you out for a drink."

Callie smiled. The offer was tempting, but she wasn't exactly up for drinks with a stranger. Maybe she should suggest he ask Yang. That would make her week. Maybe she'd stop bothering Callie while she tried to sleep. "I don't know if that would be very appropriate…" She couldn't help it, her eyes slipped past Ethan to Erica, who was there to meet her gaze. Erica closed her eyes and shook her head, then looked back at her file.

"Scratch that… I'd love to. Meet me in the front lobby at eight."


	22. TV, Tequila, and Metaphors

DISCLAIMER:: should be mine, but it isn't. it's shonda's

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: last nights episode was a little too farfetched, even for me. I'm going to leave it at that. but the highlight of my night: my strictly catholic mom, who I have gotten roped into the show, came over and was like 'mija, where is the blonde one?' and after I explained that erica was gone, she went 'no! how dare they make callie cry? They must bring her back immediately! I will not stand for this! Give me the book of numbers [[i.e. the phonebook]] I call them!' if you knew my mom you'd think it was hilarious too.

But in regards to this chapter of my fic… it is going to put a serious rift in the callica relationship. But fear not, rifts can be mended, and mend I will. But in all reality people, seriously… not many couples have a huge fight and then have it resolved that night, or even the next day. It can take weeks. And in this case it's going to take chapters, but bare with me, I do not intend to disappoint! Mucho love to all my reviewers, your kindness and feedback is much appreciated. Love ya all!

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"Dr. Torres… you're late." Ethan West feigned disappointment, but she heard the smile in his voice as she descended the stairs into the lobby.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm a doctor, eight generally mean eight thirty… sometimes eight the next day when we get tied up in a surprise surgery. Just be glad it was the first option."

She came to a stop in front of him, really taking him in for the first time all day. He really was good-looking, the whole chiseled jaw thing. Probably plastic surgery, but it looked so good on him that she couldn't compel herself to think of him as vain. Who wouldn't go the plastics route if they turned out like that? His hair was black and flawless like Shepard's. He was tall and muscular, but not bulky. She had been trying to guess his profession all day. She thought he might be a professional athlete, but there was no way Yang and Grey would know someone like that, especially not have a fat crush on said someone. No, he had to be more in the spotlight than that. Again, familiarity shot through her, but she still couldn't place him.

"Better late than never." He smiled even wider. Then he offered his arm to her. "Shall we?"

She shook her head, but smiled and took the proffered arm.

From the second floor walkway that overlooked the main lobby, Christina and Meredith watched the entire exchange.

"She's so lucky. Why is she so lucky?" Meredith turned to Yang, expecting an answer.

Yang just rolled her eyes. "You have Derek. You couldn't have Ethan West even if he wanted you. Now I on the other hand…"

"Yang, do you often spy on people?" Erica Hahn walked up to them.

"It's not people, it's Callie," Yang replied dryly.

"And Ethan West," Meredith added.

Erica drowned them out; she was too focused on the dark haired beauty as she strolled through the front doors on the arm of Ethan West. Callie was not fooled by charming smiles and knight in shining armor tactics. She had never been pulled in by Sloan's at least. Maybe she was just using this guy for sex too. But somehow the revelation that Callie certainly was not planning on getting into another relationship didn't make her feel any better. She wanted Callie to be leaving with her, and that also made her feel bad. She should feel betrayal. She shouldn't care that Callie was flouncing out the door with the big shot actor. She should hate Callie… but she didn't. She just wanted her. She wanted to race down the stairs and out the door, and get the girl. Her practical side tried to convince her that she only felt that way because she was competitive and she just wanted to beat Ethan West. But she knew the truth.

"Erica?" She was vaguely aware of a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes were still fixed on the door, some part of her hoping Callie would run back through it, realizing she was making a big mistake. "Erica?"

"What?" She turned and came face to face with Sloan.

"Are you okay? You look like the Chief just promoted Yang to Head of Cardio and gave you the boot."

Great, so she looked just how she felt.

"I need a drink." Despite her better sense, it was a request, not a statement.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So wait, wait, wait… let me get this straight… you play a doctor on TV?" Callie was three shots of tequila in and getting a kick out of Ethan's profession.

He laughed right along with her. "Yes, I play Dr. Jeremy Drake on Fallbrook Memorial."

"Wow… no wonder Yang and Grey have been stalking you all day." She continued to chuckle.

"So, tell me Dr. Torres…"

"Callie."

"Callie," he amended. "Why ortho?"

"A long time ago when I was really little my older sister was in a horrible accident. A rib broke and punctured one of her lungs. She bled out waiting for the ambulance. She was DOA. I promised myself from that moment on that I would become a doctor, the type that could prevent that from happening." Callie's voice betrayed a little of some deep buried emotion that sounded like despair… she sounded as if tears weren't far.

"I'm so sorry Callie." Ethan reached out and put a hand over hers on the table.

"Callie met his eyes… and grinned. "Seems I'm not too bad at the acting thing either.

Ethan put a dramatic hand to his heart and pretended to be disgusted, but just ended up laughing. "A very convincing performance Dr. Torres."

"The truth is, it was the neglected specialty. Everybody was going for the obvious choices, the glamorous ones, like cardio or neuro…"

"I wouldn't associate the word surgery with the word glamorous." Ethan smiled.

"You know what I mean. Ortho was undiscovered country…" Callie was suddenly aware of a presence. She looked up to see Erica coming through the door with Sloan. Great, just great. She knew it was a bad idea to bring Ethan to Joe's. "And I love to explore," she finished with a smirk, trying to hide her sudden nervousness.

Sloan sauntered up, pulling Erica along, much to her objection.

"Torres." It was his usual greeting.

Callie rolled her eyes. "Ethan, these are my colleagues. Mark Sloan, Head of Plastics and Erica Hahn, head of Cardio."

Ethan smiled warmly. "Care to join us." He gestured to the two empty seats at the table.

Erica and Callie both opened their mouth to object, but each thought better of it and let them fall closed again. This was not the time and place to start something.

Erica sat next to Callie much as she had the night when she, Callie and Addison had come to Joe's. The night Callie had danced seductively with Sloan to prove to herself and everyone else she was still straight as an arrow; the night her feelings for Callie had soared to a nearly unbearable level; the night where all she had wanted to do was pull Callie out of Sloan's arms and into her own and kiss her so fiercely that her insecurities became insignificant, snuffed out by the desire she felt.

"Ethan here was just telling me that he plays a doctor on TV." Callie smiled proudly at her date. He really seemed like a good guy. Though she found it hard to concentrate on feeling anything for him with Erica being so close.

"Oddly enough I play the Head of Cardio."

"Really? Well, I don't have much patience for shows of that nature. I think they make an inaccurate spectacle of a profession that saves peoples' lives." Erica's tone was clipped. It was obviously meant as an insult to Ethan.

"May I speak to you in private for a moment?" Callie's tone was clipped too, bordering on anger. She didn't wait for an answer, just grabbed Erica's wrist and drug her out the door of the bar and into the cold winter air.

"What is your problem Callie?" Erica gazed at her with hard eyes as Callie violently released her wrist.

"I could ask you the same thing!" Callie glared at the blonde. "You threw a choice you knew I couldn't make in my face, you walked out on me, and you expect me not to get mad when you insult my date?"

"Your date? Oh please Callie. Spare me! We both know you are only having drinks with him because of me! If you hadn't seen me in the hall today you would never have agreed to this."

"Don't flatter yourself! My world does not nor has it ever revolved around you! You were just a notch in my bedpost!" Callie regretted her words the moment they left her mouth. It was a low blow and she knew it. Erica had spoke the truth. She would not have accepted Ethan's offer, would not be here if it wasn't for seeing the blonde when he had asked. And now, because of her stupid pride, she was going to lose Erica, possibly forever.

Erica said nothing. She seemed torn between the anger and the pain. In the end, neither pain nor anger won out. Erica became numb, blank. Her walls were back and stronger than ever.

"Please thank Dr. Sloan and Mr. West for me. I must be off; I have an early surgery." And Erica turned and walked away from Callie Torres once more.

Callie had a feeling this time Erica was not only walking away, but out of her life as well.


	23. It Starts With Civility

DISCLAIMER:: ABC's and shonda's

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: here's twenty three since it was already written. I'm quite fond of this chapter, and the next couple, until after the wedding. Reviews welcome.

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The next few months of Callie's life (or at least all the moments she wasn't at work) were filled with Ethan. She hadn't fallen as fast as she had with Erica or even George, but she definitely liked the guy beyond the line when friendship ends and relationship begins. He was charming without the added sleaze that Mark tainted his charm with. But more than anything, she liked that he listened, just like Erica used to.

Brenna always loved to hear about their latest date and Callie found herself spending her lunches and the nights she was on call with her new best friend. Everyday, Brenna got a little paler, a little thinner, a little more fragile. She was practically made of glass now; the smallest touch left a mean bruise. Brenna never openly shared as to what was killing her, and Callie never inquired.

She and Erica kept it professional. Callie knew Erica wasn't quick to forgive, and this time was no exception. It took Erica nearly a month to even stand to be around Callie and another month before they could manage to share an operating room during surgery, and Callie knew that was only because the Chief pulled them both in and gave them a good tongue lashing about not letting some stupid personal squabble impair their ability to save lives.

Callie never stopped thinking of Erica Hahn. She couldn't complain, her life was good, and she was happy. But she still dreamed of Erica and she still inhaled deeply each morning into her pillow because buried deep down, under the smell of her shampoo was a faint trace of Erica that she was convinced was embedded in the pillow.

So Callie survived because she had Ethan and Brenna and her dreams.

But Erica, she had no one after Callie; she had only the company of her walls, the ones that protected her from feeling any of it. In the absence of her walls, she might have grieved the loss of Callie, the defeat of losing to Ethan West. In their absence, she might spent her breaks between patients crying in on call rooms. In their absence, she might feel _something_. But she felt nothing. She had returned to the pre-Callie Erica, the ice-queen was back and colder than ever.

Sloan and Rose, who everybody had betted (quite literally) wouldn't make it, were stronger than ever. They had planned the wedding for June originally, but Rose had convinced Mark to move it to early April instead. With just over a month until the big day, it was all anybody could talk about.

"Callie!" The ortho resident turned at the sound of her name to see Rose barreling towards her.

"I have a huge problem and you are just the girl to solve it." Rose batted her doe-like eyes and smiled.

"Okay, uh, sure. What's the big problem? I'm here to help." Sloan had asked her very desperately if she would help Rose with the plans and she had reluctantly agreed. Rose's family was all in California; she had no one around to help her. The nurses were only helpful when it came to the bachelorette party. They wouldn't help with the rest of it as they were still quite pissed at McSteamy. Just cause he was getting married didn't mean they trusted he wouldn't fall into his old ways given the temptation.

"Well, my sister is not going to be able to make it. Her job in Tokyo won't give her the time off and it would be too pricey to drag her and the newest boyfriend here anyway." Rose rolled her eyes. This must be typical behavior for her sister.

"Do you need me to rearrange the seating chart or something?" Callie quirked an eyebrow. If Rose was hoping she could somehow magically make her sister appear, she was sadly mistaken.

"No. I was kinda actually hoping you'd be maid of honor in her place. You don't have to answer right away." Rose held up her hands to bar any words Callie might be thinking of uttering. "Just think about it, okay? I really don't want to be forced to promote Meredith Grey." Rose gave her one last desperate look before she stalked off.

Callie stared after her, open-mouthed, still trying to process her request.

"Maid of honor, wow."

Callie froze. Not because the words had surprised her, but because of who had uttered them. She glanced over at Erica. She hadn't even noticed her ex leaning casually against the counter a few feet away, watching the exchange.

She nodded. "Yeah." It wasn't the most brilliant of responses, but she hadn't had a civil conversation… well,_ any_ conversation with Erica since their fight in front of Joe's.

"For what it's worth, I think you should do it." Erica looked back down at the file she had been examining before Rose approached.

"Thanks, I think I will." Callie smiled as she turned and walked away. Part of her urged her to stay and talk to the cardio goddess, but the more practical part said that she should not mess with a good thing.

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"So, do you have any plans with Ethan tonight? It is Valentine's Day after all." Brenna smiled at her.

"I don't think there should be one day honoring love. Everyday should be Valentine's Day. But we do have a date. He's taking me to the coast, so I won't be here tomorrow. You'll be okay, right? Please don't choose the day I decide to go on a mini-vacation to bite the dust."

Brenna smiled and held up her right hand. "I solemnly swear to try my absolute hardest not to bite the dust before you return from your trip." She giggled, but then grew serious. "Don't worry Callie, I'll be just fine. I am in a hospital full of professionals. They deal with these things daily. I'm going to be here when you get back, don't worry."

Callie knew this was stupid. Brenna was the one dying and here she was reassuring her. It should be the other way around. But she just couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen to her new best friend. It may be selfish, but she needed Brenna. She needed a best friend.

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Hours later, when her shift ended, she met up with Ethan in the lobby. He was waiting with his megawatt smile and a single rose. She couldn't help but feel the smallest surge of joy when she saw him.

"You ready?" Another surge of joy ran through her. She was more than ready.

She reached for his proffered arm, but stopped mid-reach. She looked over and saw Erica searching through her purse on one of the lobby chairs.

"I just need a sec… I'll meet you outside."

Ethan was reluctant to respond when he saw who she was staring at. The stories she had told him of those first months of Erica's coldness were obviously not forgotten. Finally, when she cast a pleading look his way, he nodded and departed through the main doors.

Callie walked cautiously toward the object of her dreams. Erica sensed her presence, but like the night of their first real kiss, refused to look up.

"Erica, I… I just wanted to tell you Happy Valentine's Day." Callie's words came out softly, gently.

Erica still remained silent. Callie nodded. She knew their talk that day had been a fluke. She was stupid to hope that it was a breakthrough. She turned to meet Ethan.

"Do you regret it?"

Callie turned back. "What I said in front of Joe's?"

"No."

"Ethan?"

"No. Do you regret picking Brenna over me?" Erica wasn't lowering her walls by any means, but she was opening a hidden window in the wall and peeking out.

"Honestly, no. I know you can't forgive her Erica, not now, but I will not let that girl die alone. She may not deserve you're forgiveness, but she does deserve to have somebody there when she goes." Callie looked at the ground. Every time she was getting somewhere with Erica, she had to mess it up. But unlike the night at Joe's, these words were the truth and she meant them.

"I just don't think I can face her." Erica frowned.

Callie shrugged. She had nothing more to say. She was done trying to convince the blonde of going to see Brenna. She'd go when she wanted to go. "For what it's worth, I think you should do it."

Callie turned and walked away.

"Callie!" The brunette turned back. "Thanks, I think I will." Erica gave her a small half-smile.

Callie smiled and nodded. She turned and walked out the doors to her waiting boyfriend.

"Happy Valentine's Day Cal."


	24. Three Months of Fear and Pain

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: another shorter chapter. Thanks so much for the reviews, they are much appreciated. This story is getting more feedback than I could ever have hoped for. No callie in this chapter, but I'm still quite fond of it. Sloan's wedding in the coming chapters, and after that… well you'll just have to wait and see.

DISCLAIMER:: not mine, yada, yada

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Brenna Dasilva lived a simple life. Even before coming to Seattle Grace, she had been a routine type girl. Her parents had made her that way. Everything was on a schedule and interruptions of said schedule were few and far between. She was accustomed to predictability. So when someone did the unthinkable, like Erica Hahn was about to do, it threw her off considerably, though she was always quick not to let it show.

"Callie was right, you look like hell."

Brenna watched with amazement as Erica sat down in the chair by her bed, though her face remained neutral. "Nice to see you too Erica."

"So…I'm here." Erica looked at Brenna, her face expectant.

"So you are." Brenna nodded. "I had lost all faith that Callie would be able to convince you. That was a mistake; Callie always comes through."

"For you maybe." Erica was in complete disagreement. In her opinion Callie had been quick to let her down the past couple times she'd been given the opportunity.

"You're hard on her you know. You'd be surprised at just how much she's been beating herself up over your break up. She really cares for you Erica, and everything she's done that's hurt you, has hurt her too." Brenna's tone was matter-of-fact.

"Yeah. Right." Erica rolled her eyes. Callie, the girl flouncing around with her pretty boy beau, was broken up over their separation? She'd believe that when she saw it.

Brenna tried to shrug, but her frail bones barely managed a small lift. "What are you here for Erica? Why did you come?"

"I was under the impression you wanted me here."

"I do."

"Well?" Erica raised her eyebrows.

"Erica, do you still hate me? Is that what took you so long, your hate? Or was it your pride?" Brenna seemed completely serious, not upset by the fact that Erica might hate her.

"I don't hate…I strongly dislike. You betrayed me."

"I killed Kayla," Brenna confirmed with a nod.

"Yes, you did." Erica was quiet for a few moments. "Was it all to get her heart? Is that the only reason you gave up on her?"

"No. She was sick. The day of the accident, we were coming to see you. She wanted to make up with you after your last fight and it was one of her last request that I finish the job. She had always wanted to tell you about the tumor. But she knew you were a doctor; she knew you would look at only from the medical angle, not as her sister."

"The tumor?" The disbelief that flooded Erica's voice was not lost on Brenna.

"It was wedged behind the optic nerve. She would have blackouts every time it spread, grew. That's why she left college, and why she didn't stop the wedding. The tumor was inoperable. She only had three months Erica, three long months of pain and fear. That's why I did it." Brenna grew quiet to give Erica time to process the information.

"You're lying!" Erica was speaking through gritted teeth.

"I'm nearly dead Erica! I have no reason left to lie! What good would it bring me? The comfort of your forgiveness for the couple months I have left? I've lived without it for eight years; I've lived without _you_ for eight years! I'm used to it by now."

"Kayla told me everything! She was my best friend!" Erica was torn between anger and hysterics.

"Kayla told you nothing! _I_ was your best friend!"

Erica shook her head. "That's not true."

"Believe what you wish Erica."

"It's not true. It's not true. It's not true." Erica's tears came as she repeated it. It was true. After Brylee, Kayla and she had grown distant. Brenna had been the glue that had held them together all those years.

Brenna struggled to sit up. It took a few tries but she eventually found success. She scooted to the edge of the bed and pulled Erica's head into her lap. She smoothed down her golden locks as Erica clung to her and cried.

It took several minutes for Erica's tears to end.

"I don't know how my life got so lost. I did the worst possible thing; I became my parents. Image, reputation… it became everything. And then Callie shows up and she helped me find the person I was. Now I've lost her too."

You've only lost her if you continue to let her be blind to your feelings. She loves Ethan, Erica, but I truly believe she is not _in_ love with him. Not yet at least. You have time. It's never too late. Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't let something so precious slip through your fingers."

Erica looked up at Brenna for several moments before she smiled. "Callie was right about something else too."

"And what is that?"

"She said you deserved more than how I was treating you. She was right."

Brenna smiled. "Saint Callie… always at my defense."

Erica, now unblended by her deep-set betrayal, switched to doctor mode. She grabbed Brenna's chart hanging on the end of her bed. "You need another transplant. There's been several complications with your new heart and you need another transplant."

Brenna looked away. She already knew all about what was wrong with her.

"You've refused four transplants over the pas two years since a surgery caused unforeseen problems. Why?" Erica looked at her from over the top of her chart.

Brenna looked at her, tears in her eyes. She put a hand over her heart. "It's the only part of her I have left. It's her heart! When I listen to my heartbeat, it's her heart that's beating. I can't give that up!"

Erica nodded in understanding.

"When her heart stops beating, mine will too. That's the way it was always meant to be."


	25. A Hospital Divided

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: okay, so I had this chapter all written up, a lovely chapter in which callie and erica made up in enough time to go to sloan's wedding together. It was great. But I deleted it all. And then rewrote it as this. Which I personally think is a trillion times better. If it had submitted that other one, I would only have about two chapters after before my story is finished, and I decided I'm just not ready for it to be done quite yet. Plus, I am setting it up for the cutest scene at the wedding reception. Patience, my loyal readers, erica hahn will not stand by and watch ethan west prance of into the sunset with her girl!!!

DISCLAIMER:: not mine. belongs to shonda and abc.

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"Hey you. Good morning." Callie was smiling and pulling the dying lilies out of the vase by Brenna's bed as she woke up, replacing them with fresh ones.

"Hey." Brenna tried to adjust herself, but her frail bones popped in objection and she gave up. She was getting worse. Despite the fact that she had only weeks, maybe days left, she had given no requests to go home. She seemed content on expiring right there in her hospital room.

Callie held out her arms for support and Brenna gladly clung to them and finally was able to shift herself into a decent sitting position. "Thanks Callie."

"Not a problem." Callie smiled brightly.

"How was your trip?" Brenna smiled.

"Hmmm… ten glorious days in sunny Los Angeles? It was awful." Callie laughed, and Brenna managed a snicker.

"You've been gone a lot lately. Out with Ethan and what not." Brenna sounded slightly upset.

"Don't tell me you're jealous. He is my boyfriend, after all."

"Erica's been here a lot lately, in your place."

Callie smiled. "I told you I was glad you two had mended things. I'm happy to have her here in my place. She's the only one I'd trust with your care."

"Callie…" Brenna, put a frail hand on her arm. "I think you two should sit down and talk about things. She has many regrets… and I'm not stupid enough to believe you don't love her anymore. Maybe it's time you both patched things up."

Callie backed a couple steps away. "Did she put you up to this?"

Brenna frowned. "Of course not."

Callie shook her head. She didn't need this right now. "I'll be back to check on you later." She backed out of the room and headed for an on call room to cool off before her temper flared. She had less patience these days than she used to. That sort of thing happens when you're stressed 24/7.

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"What're you doing here?" Callie looked up curiously from the on call room bed as Mark entered.

"I came to talk to you." Mark closed the door behind him.

_He is_ so _not a new man_. "Yeah, 'bout what?" Callie smirked, subtle suggestion in her tone.

"Erica."

Callie's eyes grew wide. "Not you too! I know you've been hanging out with Erica a lot lately, but…"

"We're friends Callie. As odd as a concept as that once was, we are."

"I thought we were friends Mark." Callie sounded just as hurt as she felt.

"Callie we still are, but…"

"No!" Callie stood, interrupting him. "If you were really my friend, you'd be on my side."

"Callie you know that's not fair…" Mark reached out a comforting hand but she slapped it away.

"No, you know what is unfair Mark? She left me. I loved her! And she left me when I was right! I was right!"

"But you're wrong now." Mark said the words gently and tried to pull her into a comforting embrace as she began to sob. She avoided his arms, pushing past him and out the door. She ran, dodging everyone as she made her way blindly through the halls. Finally, she hit something, or rather, someone hard.

Arms wrapped around her and held her up. For a moment, she was comforted.

That is until her teary eyes cleared enough to recognize the arms around her.

She looked up into the face of Erica Hahn. "You!" The word was barely a whisper, but Erica flinched as if it were a scream. She instantly released her hold on Callie.

"I hope you're happy… they all love you now. Apparently this has all become my fault!"

"Callie, I…"

"Save it for somebody who cares." Callie pushed her way past Erica, the tears burned away by fresh anger and hurt.

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"Hey there, pretty lady." Ethan put a hand on the small of Callie's back and steered her away from the nurses' station. "I have good news." He pulled her in for a quick kiss.

Callie smiled as she pulled back, her first genuine one since early that morning. "I could use some good news after the day I've had."

"So I convinced them to let me stay in Seattle for a couple more days, so I will be able to accompany you to the wedding tomorrow after all."

"Yay!" Callie put a hand on his cheek and directed him in for another kiss.

"But they want me back first thing Monday." There was an anxious edge to his voice now.

"For how long this time?" Callie frowned. She hated it when Ethan had to go away to LA.

"We start filming the new season Tuesday." He said it as if she would automatically understand what he meant.

"Okay." She shook her head to convey that she wasn't quite understanding.

"Callie… that means they want me back for good."

"Oh." Callie nodded, a sharp pang racing through her stomach. She understood now.

"Callie..." He stopped walking and turned her to face him. "I want you to come with me."

"To LA?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. You loved LA. And everyone loved you. You don't have to work. You could spend your days lounging on the beach, or if you prefer to work, there are ten times the hospitals to choose from as there are here. You are one of the best at what you do. You could work at Cedars-Sinai for christ sake. What's left here for you? And you could spend more time with Addison. I know you enjoyed seeing her again."

She had to admit that it was a tempting offer.

Ethan sighed when she didn't immediately respond. "Just think it over, okay? No pressure."

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"Callie! Hey everybody, Callie's here!" Rose giggled then hiccupped, giggled again because of her hiccup, which caused her to hiccup yet again. She was obviously drunk.

Callie raised an eyebrow at Yang who pointed to Meredith Grey and mouthed 'her fault'. Among them was Izzie Stevens, Lexie Grey, and a few of the nurses. She felt a twinge of relief that Erica was not among the group. She was probably out with the boys at the bachelor party instead, seeing as Sloan was now her new best friend.

"You missed my bachelorette party missy." Rose pointed at her with narrowed eyes.

"Sorry, late surgery." Callie walked straight past the group of girls camped out on her living room carpet and to her room. She shut the door and tossed her stuff on the floor before falling on the bed, her back to the door.

Several minutes later there was a soft knock on the door. She didn't answer so the intruder quietly entered and shut the door.

"Listen Rose, it's been a long day and tomorrow's gonna be even longer. I just wanna sleep."

"I'm sorry Callie." The voice that spoke was definitely not Rose's.

Callie sat up and turned to look at Izzie Stevens. She stood near the door, looking as apologetic as she sounded.

"Sorry for what?" Callie was now suspicious. The last time Izzie Stevens had felt the need to apologize it was for sleeping with her husband.

"I'm sorry you got hurt again."

Oh great, Saint Isobel. How very noble of her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on Callie. The whole hospital is divided. I half expect someone to start passing out scrubs that say Team Torres or Team Hahn."

Callie sighed. She knew it was true. Everyone had fallen into one category or the other.

"I know I'm not exactly your favorite person, but I am on your side." Izzie sat on the opposite edge of the bed.

Callie gave a small half-smile. "Thanks."

"Do you want to come out and join the party? Rose is plastered, which means fun times are to be had."

"No, thanks. I think I'll just stay in here. I'm not really in the partying mood." Callie laid back down, her back once again to the blonde.

It was so quiet that Callie thought Izzie really had left.

"This pain you're feeling Callie, it will heal. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but eventually it will heal. There will be life after Erica Hahn."

"I think I was in love with her Izz."

"I know." The blonde placed a hand on Callie's shoulder.

Callie tried to stop them, but the tears came anyway. "It's ironic you know. I became best friends with Erica Hahn when she spent night after night consoling me over you and George and here you are, consoling me over her."

"I'm so sorry Callie, for everything." Izzie squeezed her shoulder in a comforting gesture. That small act of kindness killed any of the bad feelings Callie still had for Izzie Stevens. She felt her forgiveness start its healing work; the tears slowed.

Callie sat up again. "I think I made a mistake Izzie."

"Don't say that. This, Erica, it's a learning experience."

Callie shook her head. "That's not what I'm talking about."

Izzie looked confused. "What are you talking about then?"

"Ethan asked me to move to California with him." Callie paused, the tears starting full force again.

Izzie gasped. "Callie you didn't! You said yes?"

Callie nodded. "I already handed in my resignation. I leave first thing Monday morning."


	26. A Churchload of Sinners

DISCLAIMER:: not mine. belongs to shonda and abc

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: shorter than originally planned. But because of my change in the last couple chapters, I had to cut some stuff out. Hope you like it. This is the beginnings of the big make-up between callie and erica. thanks to izzie, callie is remembering that she is a forgiving person, and that side of herself had just gone away for a while. But now it's back and mending fences, full force.

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Callie had always looked good in gold. Not the atrocious bright gold, like gold leaf, that had a darker tint, looking like some disgusting combination of yellow and brown. But the subtle gold the sun, the soft gold of Florida sand, that was her color. Her MOH dress was that soft gold. It complemented her tan complexion perfectly. Her raven locks were left in their natural state, curly, and put up in a collected, but beautifully wispy way.

"You look amazing Callie." Brenna smiled up at her, a ghost on the bed now.

"Thanks." Callie was glad she had mended things with Brenna. She really was a great friend.

"Can I ask you something Callie?" Brenna seemed instantly nervous. She looked down as if her hands were suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

"Sure. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Take me with you. To California. Take me home."

Callie didn't ask how Brenna knew she was leaving. She knew Izzie, the chief, and Ethan had not told her, and they were the only three to go. She just nodded. "Okay."

Brenna started crying. "Really? You'll take me?"

Callie nodded again. "I promised you I wouldn't let you die alone. So if you want to go home, I'm going to take you home. I'll be back for you tonight after the reception."

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As she entered into the inner chamber at the church where Rose was busy getting into her gown, everybody paused to take her in. She looked like a Mayan goddess in the subtle glow of her maid of honor gown. The bridesmaids' dresses that adorned the bodies of Grey, Olivia, and Stevens, though made of the same fabric, had none of the same affect.

"Callie, you look… wow." Izzie smiled appreciatively.

Callie smiled. "Thanks. You guys look great too. Especially you Rose."

Rose only managed a smile.

Izzie giggled. "She's waiting for the painkillers to kick in. Rose here had quite the hangover this morning."

Callie put a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh. "I'm not surprised with the way she was drinking last night."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here." Rose's voice had a whiny edge to it.

"I'm gonna go check on the boys. I'll be right back." Callie backed out of the room. She wasn't much a girl talk type person, she'd always had more guy friends that girl friends. She was just more rough and tumble than soft and frilly.

She knocked on the door to the chamber Mark was using and entered before he could tell her to come in.

He frowned. "I could have been changing."

Callie laughed. "It's nothing I haven't seen before."

"Callie, you look…"

She held up a hand. "I know. Thanks."

She looked around at the room, considerably smaller than the girl's changing room. "So, a church, shouldn't your skin be sizzling or something?"

He grinned at her joke. "If my skin should be sizzling, you should be in flames."

She could have thrown a stinging comeback at him, but she chose to just smile. This was her Mark, her best friend. It was good to know that the knight with the dirty armor was still buried somewhere in the pristine white knight that stood before her now.

A knock at the door made them both turn. Derek poked his head in. "Your on." He smiled at Mark and then looked at Callie.

"Callie, you look…"

"I know." She shook her head at the phrase that seemed common among everyone today.

"See you at the altar." Mark put a hand on her shoulder.

She smiled. "I'll be the one in gold, next to the bride."

He smiled, choosing, just like she had before, to say nothing because right now, she was his Callie. The Callie that snuck into on call rooms and joked about threesomes in elevators.

She watched him depart and then turned to look out the window. This was a big day. She wasn't sure if she was ready for this. Her last day in Seattle. In the early hours of the morning tomorrow, she would be on a plane, heading for a new life with Ethan. The thought should make her happy, but she still felt rather incomplete. It only took her a second to know why. As much as she emphasized the past tense when she talked about her love for Erica, it wasn't a thing of the past.

When she closed her eyes, she still felt the presence of the blonde cardio doctor. She closed her eyes, and this time was no exception. She could almost feel Erica there with her.

A hand on her bare back made her jump. She nearly screamed.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Erica said to her back. The blonde kept her hand on Callie's back, but Callie didn't object.

Erica seemed to be waiting for Callie to say something, but no words came to mind. How could she tell Erica that she was leaving? She had not been able to confide in anyone but Izzie, with the exception of the chief, who had to know.

Finally, Erica filled the silence. "I don't want to fight anymore Callie. It's been almost six months since…" Erica couldn't even bring herself to utter the word _us_. "I want this to be a good day. I want you to know… I never blamed you. I never wanted anyone to think of this as your fault. I always knew the fault was mine."

Callie turned, feeling fluttery on the inside when Erica gasped at getting a good view of her in her dress.

"Callie." That one word, barely a breath from the blonde made her feel better than all the other compliments put together.

She put a hand to Erica's cheek and the blonde turned her head to kiss her palm, before cupping her own hand over it.

"Erica, I…"

"Callie, come on. It's time." Izzie stood in the doorway, an urgent look on her face.

"Go. Just promise to save a dance for me at the reception." Erica smiled.

Callie nodded. "I promise."


	27. Unholy Matrimony

DISCLAIMER:: yeah, not mine

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: so. Wow. This chapter had to be completely rewritten like six times. I never could seem to get the dance right. First, I kept picking the wrong song, and then I heard this one at work, and it was perfect. But I'm really happy with this chapter, although I think I could have done callie's moh speech better. But finally, we're getting somewhere with callie and erica. but I'm ending this one on another cliffhanger. Will callie go with ethan? Will she stay with erica? only time will tell…

oh, and the song is _if you're not the one_ by daniel bedingfield for those of you interested...

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Callie stood patiently, waiting just outside the doors as each pair of bridesmaids and groomsmen made their way down the aisle. Then, it was her turn. She took a deep breath and stepped into the crowded room. Camera bulbs went off from random places around the room. Everyone gave a collective gasp. She stepped slowly, keeping pace with the music coming from the grand piano, and glanced at the faces she recognized. There was the chief with his wife Adele, trying to mask his concern over her resignation with a smile. Yang was sitting next to Owen Hunt, though they still didn't admit their relationship. Derek's sisters were all there, all four of them. George, looking at her with a small ounce of longing on his features. Finally, on the front pew, where Mark's family would have been had he bothered to invite them, was a beaming Addison Montgomery and by her side, Erica.

She took her place to the left of the altar and waited as the wedding march began. She glanced at Mark but he was too busy staring expectantly down the aisle. Everyone stood to get a good look at the bride as she came down the aisle, but Callie, although having a clear view, kept her eyes somewhere else. She was transfixed on Erica. Erica was watching the bride, a small smile on her face. But, feeling eyes on her, she turned and met Callie's gaze. Callie was surprised at the longing she saw in Erica's blue eyes, one that matched the longing in her own. As suddenly as they had both recognized that mutual emotion, their concentration was broken. Ethan smiled at her and waved from his spot on the last pew on the right. She smiled at her boyfriend, acknowledging that she saw him there, and then her gaze flashed back to Erica, but the blonde was no longer looking at her. Rose reached the altar at that moment.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of…" Callie let the minister's voice float to the back of her mind.

The foremost thought was now leaving. Yesterday, after her fights with Mark and Brenna, she had been so sure she wanted to leave. It had seemed so simple and easy to make such a critical decision. Just go to LA and start over. And it was not like she'd be alone. She'd have Ethan and Addison. She'd get a job at Cedars-Sinai and recreate her life here, but better. She'd be the actor, and maybe one day wife, of a famous actor. She'd go to awards shows and wear fancy clothes. Her parents would be elated. They'd approve of Ethan, she knew that for sure. He'd be the model son-in-law. Nothing like George, of course. Successful, handsome, catholic… male. It sounded like a dream come true, but at what cost? Her friends, her career, her…Erica? Izzie had spent the previous night trying to talk her into staying, but she had been adamant that she needed to do this. Now, she wasn't so sure. Was she really willing to sacrifice the life she had built here for a chance at something better in LA?

_But nothing is better than Erica_. She forced the traitorous thought to the back of her mind. She was with Ethan now; she couldn't feel that way about Erica anymore. It wasn't allowed.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Callie snapped out of her thoughts as the minister's last line was delivered.

The crowd clapped and cheered as Sloan pulled Rose in for that binding kiss. The one that sealed his fate as a married man.

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The first few hours of the reception were a blur to Callie. She was vaguely aware of people as they came and went, introducing themselves and rambling on about random subjects until they saw someone else they'd rather annoy. Callie had not seen Erica since she'd left for the reception location. She wondered if her little glance at Ethan had discouraged Erica from attending. She hoped not. She was dying to see the blonde once more before she left. She had mere hours of time left in her life here in Seattle, and she wanted Erica to be there for them.

Finally, everyone took their seats in the grand tent that had been set up on Derek's land for the reception.

The toast was the one MOH duty Callie had been looking forward to even less than the rest. As MOH she was required to give one. It was mandatory, but Callie wasn't good at big speeches to people she hardly knew. They had never been her strong suit.

Derek's speech seemed to end way too soon in Callie's opinion though it was probably longer than normal. She was excruciatingly aware of all eyes on her as she stood. She knew if she opened her mouth, no words would come out. Her eyes scanned the crowd on impulse, passing right over Ethan's smiling face, and instead focusing on Erica. The blonde gazed at her knowingly and mouthed 'just breathe' to her. She nodded and obeyed.

"Almost three years ago this suave, handsome, grinning man comes stumbling into Seattle Grace, looking for my best friend." She smiled at Addison. "We all thought it was temporary, having Mark around. He was obnoxious, flirtatious, and arrogant." Derek and the rest of the SGH staff snickered. "But he stuck around, and slowly, he became more than this ultimate bachelor, he became a friend, a very good friend. He's seen me through a lot these past three years. I owe him a lot. I once told him that Rose was the kind of girl who went for the knight in shining armor types, that he'd never be that guy. But it seems I was the blind one, because I think she got the best one of all. So here's to finding your fairytale ending." She held up her glass. "You both deserve it." All the other glasses were raised in salute and then cheering began. She blushed and sat down, glad it was over and that she had survived it without humiliating herself.

"Great job." Izzie had leaned over to her ear to whisper.

She smiled at her. "Thanks Izz, for everything."

After the meal and the mandatory dances (father/bride, first dance as a married couple, etc) the real party began. Everyone got up and started finding the familiar faces in the crowd. Callie searched for Erica, but was interrupted when Ethan made a beeline for her.

"May I have this dance?" He held out a hand. She smiled, nodded, and took his offered hand. Ethan led her to the dance floor and they started moving expertly around the floor.

They only got in two dances before Mark asked to cut in.

Ethan sat down at the nearest empty table and watched as the groom swung his girlfriend around the dance floor. Callie looked phenomenal, and he glowed with pride that she was here with him, that she was his, and that she was agreeing to come home with him to LA. He had honestly expected more of an objection from her, but she had instantly agreed when he asked. Maybe she really loved him as much as he loved her, though he had his doubts. There were days where she had this distance in her eyes, like her heart was somewhere else. And there were times where she'd think she saw someone when they were out together and it would bother her the whole night. He knew Mark and her had a history, but obviously that was concluded. The only thing he didn't get was her and that blonde doctor, the head of cardio. Mark had told him that first night at Joe's when the girls had disappeared for a few minutes that she and Callie were best friends, but Callie would only tell him that they had got in a huge fight and neither was really ready to forgive the other. He didn't push the issue, but he had always felt the tension whenever her name was mentioned.

"Hello. I'm Isobel Stevens. Izzie." A young blonde he had seen around the hospital a couple times plopped into the seat next to him and extended a hand, which he shook.

"Ethan West."

"I know. Callie talks about you all the time."

He wouldn't admit it, but that statement gave him great pleasure.

"So… Callie told me she's moving with you to LA." She noticed a shocked look crossed his face. "Oh, she only told me, and it was by accident. I won't tell anyone, I promise."

Ethan nodded, still shocked that Callie had spilled the beans to Izzie Stevens of all people. He had always had the impression that Callie didn't like this girl very much. But maybe he was getting them mixed up. Maybe Yang was the one she didn't like and Stevens was her close friend.

"Can I ask you something Izzie?"

She nodded. "Sure."

"If I asked Callie to marry me, do you think she would?" Ethan gave Izzie a hopeful look.

She stared at him. Well, that was not one she was expecting.

On the floor, Mark was spinning Callie around the floor as the song concluded. He stepped back. "Thanks Callie, for these past three years, and for knowing I was worth more than everybody thought I was."

"Hey." Rose put a hand on his shoulder. He glanced down at her expectant face. But he glanced back at Callie.

"Go. Dance." She smiled as they walked away.

"Is it my turn yet, or do I have to wait for you to do with each of the band members first?"

Erica's normal dry sarcasm caused Callie to grin. She turned to face the blonde. "I guess I could squeeze you in at the top of the waiting list."

She was amazed at how easily she slid into Erica's embrace, almost as if she had never left. The cardio goddess' arms slipped around her waist and hers snaked around Erica's neck. No one gave them a second glance. This was an inevitable, albeit belated, reunion to everyone they knew.

"It's been a long time Cal."

"It has." Callie nodded.

They were silent for a few moments, just letting the words of the song drift between them like naked truth.

_If you're not the one, then why does my heart feel glad today?_

_If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?_

_If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?_

_If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?_

_I never know what the future brings, but I know you're here with me now_

_We'll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with_

"I missed you Cal." Erica looked at her.

Callie sighed. A happy sigh. "I missed you too Erica. Everyday."

Brown met blue and they shared things wordlessly for a moment.

_If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?_

_If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?_

_If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life? _

_If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?_

"You hurt me Erica." Callie looked away, fighting back the emotions this dance was stirring inside her. She couldn't do this again.

"I know."

"I loved you."

"I know." Callie's usage of the past tense was not lost on Erica. Her hope for them slowly started to slip away. Maybe the dance was a bad idea.

"I loved you and you still hurt me." Callie's tone was soft but accusing.

"I know."

"Is there anything you don't know?" Callie frowned.

"How you feel now." Erica looked at Callie.

Callie laid her head on Erica's shoulder. "I love you, stupid." She paused. "I think I always will."

Erica felt her heart stop, though the rest of her body kept swaying with Callie. She was sure Callie felt it too as the brunette instantly lifted her head and looked up into her eyes. Erica stared back down into Callie's eyes. "I love you so much Cal."

_Cause I miss you, body and soul, so strong that it takes my breath away_

_And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today_

_Cause I love you, whether it wrong or right_

_And though I can't be with you tonight_

_You know my heart is by your side_

An urgent hand grabbed her shoulder and Callie reluctantly let herself be torn from Erica's arms. Ethan grabbed her now freed hands and pulled her away from Erica. "We have to go Callie. We'll be late."

_I don't wanna run away, but I can't take it; I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

_Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?_

Callie let herself be led away, but her eyes stayed trained over her shoulder at the blonde. Her thoughts went into overdrive.

_Chase me. Please Erica. I promise if you chase me, I'll run slow._


	28. All That Remains

DISCLAIMER:: not mine, obviously

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: i know everyone wanted the fairytale ending to happen early, and have erica rush after callie, pull her from ethan's arms, and slam his face into the pavement. but that's not how it's going. the happy ending is coming, don't worry, but there's a few more steps in this staircase. and, for all the ethan haters out there, his demise is coming

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"Ugh. A meeting? Now I remember why I hate Mondays." Erica gripped her cup of coffee as if it brought sweet life, and in a way that was exactly its purpose, because today, Erica Hahn was dragging.

After Callie's abrupt departure from the reception, Erica had been left broken. Callie still loved her, had said those magical three words for the first time to her ever, and then she'd left with Ethan West. It had left Erica feeling inadequate, a feeling she hated. She wouldn't ever admit that she had stayed up past three in the morning, waiting for Callie to call. That last over-the-shoulder glance had left her with nothing but false hope.

A woman with brown, curly hair dropped into the seat next to her and smiled.

"Nothing like a triple M, huh?" She had a peppy voice that made Erica want to gag.

Erica narrowed her eyes, confused. "Excuse me?"

"Monday Morning Meeting." The lady ticked off each M on her fingers.

"Erica. Sydney." Derek sat in the chair across from the two women at the conference table.

"Shepard." Erica was glad for a distraction from Sydney. Nobody should be that perky before 8AM.

"Any idea what this is about?" Derek glanced at Erica as more people filed into the room. Erica kept her eyes out for just one. She watched as the last man filed into the room, a man who she, consequently, didn't know.

She shrugged, her eyes still on the man. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"Probably just reminding us that the man-whore will be out for a week." Dr. Bailey took the seat next to Derek, Sloan's usual perch.

The Chief entered then, a somber look on his face.

Erica's stomach instantly dropped. Richard's most frequent emotions were pride, disappointment, ferocity, and anger. He was not often sad, as he was now. This was not a good sign.

And Callie still hadn't showed. _She just had a late night with her boyfriend, nothing to worry about. _Erica calmed herself

"I'll try and keep this brief." The Chief cleared his throat. "We will be short doctors over the next week, so I want everyone to work together to make up for the loss. As you all know, I'm sure, Dr. Sloan got married yesterday, so he and the new Mrs. Sloan will be out for the next week. Dr. Sydney Heron," he indicated the perky brunette next to Erica, "will be assisting on surgeries to make up for the loss of hands." The Chief paused, his expression stayed the same, but she could see him fighting to get the words out. Her bad feeling grew. "Dr. Torres handed in her resignation Saturday evening. Mercy West has been gracious enough to send over Dr. garner here from their ortho department until I can permanently fill the position. The next week is gonna be rocky, but let's just try and get through it with as few casualties as possible."

Erica's world came crashing down around her. Had she heard him correctly? Callie had resigned? She wasn't going to be at the hospital anymore? But why? Did Ethan talk her into it? She couldn't really be gone. Erica's practical side wasn't about to accuse the Chief of lying, but she just couldn't believe what he was saying. Callie would never leave, not after last night.

"Erica?" She looked up when Richard put a hand on her shoulder. The room was empty except for her and the Chief of Surgery.

"I'm fine. I just… Dr. Torres is gone?"

The Chief nodded. "I'm sorry Erica. I tried to convince her to stay, but she was certain she was making the right decision. I couldn't make her stay."

Erica stood. "I'm fine. I'll be fine." She pushed past him out of the room. She headed straight for the front doors, glad that Callie and Yang had moved into that apartment across the street a few months back. She could get there, talk some sense into Callie, and be back before she was missed.

She was at the apartment Callie shared with Yang less than five minutes later. She knocked but got no response. She thought about talking through the door, but if Yang was there that would be slightly awkward. She tried the knob and the door opened easily. Instantly she was relieved that she had decided against talking through the door. Yang was sitting on the couch.

"Where is she Yang?" Erica was across the room in three steps.

Yang didn't look at her, just held up her hands. In it was a folded piece of paper. Erica snatched it after a moments hesitation. Did she really want to read this? What if it said Callie was never coming back?

She unfolded the note slowly as if somehow that would take the edge off. She nearly cried when she saw Callie's loopy cursive.

_Cristina,_

_I'm sorry to have left like this. I hate running away; it never was my style. But things change. The more people who knew I was leaving, the harder this decision would have been. And I've had enough hard for a lifetime these past several months. I enclosed a check for my next three rent payments to give you time to find a new roommate. You might want to ask Izzie… she's not as bad as I originally thought. I've actually grown to respect her these past couple days. I'll call once I get settled. I just thought it was about time I went home._

_Callie_

_P.S. Tell Erica I'm sorry and that I meant everything I said._

"She's gone?" Erica turned and walked to Callie's door, still not quite ready to believe it. She paused in front of the closed door, wondering if there would be any traces of Callie even left. She went in.

The furniture was still there, the bed, the dresser, the mirror above the dresser… it was all there, looking abandoned and bare. She went to the closet and opened it and then the dresser and did the same. Her clothes and belongings were gone. All of them. Laying on the bed was a photo. She sat down and picked it up, tracing the form of Callie with her finger. It was one Gail had taken of them in the middle of their snowball fight at Foxtail Creek. After Callie had hit her with an exceptionally huge sphere of snow straight in her back, she had chased the brunette and caught her, spinning her into a hug rather than knocking her to the ground. Here, they were smiling and in each other's arms, unaware the photo was being taken. She smiled at the memory and the picture slipped from her hands. It landed face down on the floor. Erica noticed more loopy cursive on the back so she picked it up and read.

_Er,_

_I knew you would come here looking for me. You would never let me resign without trying your hardest to talk me out of it, even if we aren't together anymore. I wish I could tell you just how hard it was to walk away from you after finally saying what I've been longing to tell you. But there are promises I need to keep. You, my love, are the most important thing in my life, but I needed to do this. Please try to understand. I think it will be better for us both if you don't try to find me. Be happy Erica._

_Cal_

Erica laid back on the bed. The sheets were freshly washed, not even the faintest hint of Callie remained. Only the photo was left. It was the only evidence that Callie Torres had even existed here. For the first time since the Chief's announcement she really believed Callie was gone. And it was only then that the tears came.

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"You can't be serious Richard!" Erica stared angrily at Chief Webber as he sat calmly behind his desk.

"I am serious Erica. I am understaffed as it is. I will not give you a week off to go parading around the countryside." Richard pulled off his glasses to show he meant business.

"I just need a few days…"

"I said NO!"

Erica fell down into the chair across from him, exhausted. Between crying and this battle with the Chief, she was drained.

When Richard spoke again, his voice was gentle. "Just wait a week Erica. The second Dr. Sloan returns, you can take as much time as you need."

Richard's compromise gave Erica new energy, new fight. She stood and leaned across the desk. "I'll give it until the end of the week. Saturday morning, Sloan or no Sloan, I am going after Callie. And if you try and stop me, you'll find another resignation on your desk."


	29. Bienvenido A Miami

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: sorry this took so long. but i am working my butt off. holiday season and all. i already got the next two chapters ready to post, so those should be up before the weekend. i'm sure you all wanted erica to run straight to LA and rescue callie from that actor dude, but she's going to take a few wrong turns first. don't worry, she'll find her eventually... but will it be in time?

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Callie, please. Text me back. Call me back. Just let me know where you are and whether you're okay.**

Erica hit the send button almost violently. It was her fifth message that day. Her millionth since the meeting where she had heard of Callie's swift departure from not only Seattle Grace, but Seattle as well.

She had called Mark and left a message begging for him to come home early, so she could go find her. It was selfish to ask him to cut his honeymoon short, but she needed to know Callie was alive. If Callie didn't want to be with her, she was sure she could handle that, but she could not live with not knowing whether or not Callie was alive somewhere, anywhere.

Her phone went off with an incoming call. She couldn't help the rush of hope that washed over her.

"Hello?"

"Erica? I got your message. What's wrong? What's the emergency?"

"Mark… Callie's gone. She left Mark. She resigned, and no one here has any clue where she is." Erica was starting to get hysterical, heading for another round of tears. She was glad she wasn't at the hospital this time.

"Calm down Erica."

"How can I calm down? What if she's dead? She won't talk to me Mark! She won't even let me know she's alive!" Erica's tears came, though you couldn't tell it in her voice. They rolled down, silent betrayals of what she was feeling. "Richard won't let me go after her until you're back."

"We'll be on the next flight back. Rose isn't feeling too hot anyway; she's been wanting to go home."

"Hurry Mark." Erica's tears kept coming, though she felt instantaneous relief. He was coming back, today.

"Where are you going to look for her Erica? LA?"

"Well I figure she's with Ethan. I called his agent and made up a story about having some updates on his brother's condition. The woman told me he was on vacation with his girlfriend, but she'd tell him to call me when he returned. So I don't think they're in LA. Callie left a note for Yang that said she was going home. I think she might have taken Ethan to meet her parents, so that's where I'm gonna start."

Mark was silent for a few moments. "You're going to Miami?"

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Erica could feel the knot in her stomach through the entire flight. She fidgeted through the layovers at Denver and then Atlanta. When they finally landed at Miami International, she was a wreck. She laughed humorlessly as she saw MIA painted on a wall. Cause that's exactly what Callie was.

She had only brought a carry-on with a couple changes of clothes, so she gladly ignored the wave of passengers filing towards baggage claim. She hailed a cab outside, and one easily pulled up, drawn in by the aura of authority Erica's presence held. Cab drivers knew authority usually meant money.

"Where to?" The cab driver looked over his shoulder at her.

Everything in Erica screamed to just go straight to the most likely place Callie would be, her parents house. But from what Callie had described of her parents, they wouldn't appreciate Erica showing up the way she was now. Better to get cleaned up first. "The Mandarin Oriental please."

The driver smirked. Oh yeah, she was money.

Erica emerged three hours later from the hotel, finely dressed, looking beyond presentable in a mid-thigh length dress and a trench coat, both designer. Even if Callie was not at her parents house, maybe Erica could impress them enough that they gave her some clue as to where she could find their daughter.

She had the doorman hail a cab, and as one pulled over, he opened the door for her.

"Where to miss?"

"Have you heard of a man named Eduardo Torres?"

"Heard of him? Of course. Everyone knows Eduardo Torres." The driver seemed to find her lack of Miami knowledge comical.

"Could you take me to his house? I have an appointment with his doctor, I mean daughter." She blushed slightly at her stumble.

"Whatever you say miss."

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The Torres estate had its own private beach that spread out behind it. Erica expected heavy security, gates with intercoms and what not, but there was nothing, Just an arched driveway that led right to a front door.

Erica paid the driver and exited the cab. She stared up at the huge house. She wasn't ready to admit it but this place intimidated her. This was the place where her ex-girlfriend, the girl she loved, had grown up. Callie had played on that beach as a child. She had come home to this front door. She had slept in one of those rooms.

Erica walked up to the door and knocked. A woman answered almost immediately. She wore a blouse and a floral skirt and looked a little like Callie. It must be her mom.

"Mrs. Torres?"

The woman stared at her curiously. Then she looked over her shoulder. "Idola!"

A woman descended the staircase Erica could see behind the woman she had spoken to. This new woman was slightly younger, but only by a small number of years. She had a big smile on her face that looked like it was there most of the time. She had on a bulky sweater and tight fitting jeans.

She stopped next to the woman who had answered the door and extended her hand. "Hello, I'm Idola Torres. You must be here for Calliope. Come in!"

Erica said nothing but followed Idola inside and to a hallway tucked against the side of the staircase. They passed by door after door and finally stopped at one towards the back of the house. It opened into a room that had to be about two stories high. The walls were lined with shelves of books of every shape, size, and color. Couches and chairs littered the center, all plush, comfy for sitting and getting lost in a book.

Erica smiled. She really liked this room.

Idola noticed her grin and smiled too, looking around. "This is Calliope's favorite room here."

She gestured to a chair and then sat in another one facing it.

"Calliope told me you were coming." Idola stared at Erica intently, analyzing her every feature, every movement.

Erica raised an eyebrow but didn't speak.

"She called me yesterday, quite distraught. We had a long conversation about you Erica. She told me about your relationship and how it had progressed and… how she felt about it, then and now."

Erica eyed Idola warily. She didn't seem upset or anything. But who knew what was brewing beneath her calm demeanor.

"Calliope told me you are a heart surgeon. That's quite a prestigious career."

Erica just continued to stare, caught somewhere between wonder and caution.

"She didn't tell me you were mute too."

"Excuse me?" Erica finally found her voice.

"She speaks!" Idola's smile widened.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a little shocked."

"What? You didn't think I'd approve of my daughter finding happiness with a very successful doctor?" Idola raised an eyebrow.

"No… I thought you wouldn't approve of Callie finding happiness with another woman."

"I may be Greek in my upbringing, and it is true that I was raised to believe that your and my daughter's relationship is not normal, it's wrong even." Erica cringed at the word 'wrong'. "But…" Idola smiled fondly. "I was also raised that family is more important than anything. So for me… this is a minor detail. In the grand scheme of things, it is but a small part of the big picture… Calliope's well being. I would never begrudge my daughter something that makes her feel so much joy. You should have heard her speak of you. She was glowing with pride. It was as if the world revolved around you. I haven't heard her sound like that in a very long time."

Erica was suddenly urgent. Idola's words struck a cord in her. She was here for Callie. She needed to get to Callie. No matter what, she needed to be with Callie. "Can I see her?"

"She's not here." Idola saddened at that fact. Her smile faltered the tiniest bit.

"But you talked to her." Erica's hope once again sank.

"She called me. She said she had left Seattle for good and she'd tell me where she was once she got settled, that she was staying with a friend. Then she told me of you and said you might show up here. She said a man had called and left her a message, a friend of yours…"

"Sloan." Erica said it as if it put a bad taste in her mouth.

"Yes, that's the one."

"She's not here." Erica let the words sink in. "Then where is she?"

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Erica stayed at the Torres residence until late that night, talking with Idola. She found that she really enjoyed spending time with Callie's mother. They got along well. And in turn, now that Idola knew about her and Calle, Idola wanted to know all about her. She returned to the Mandarin Oriental no closer to finding Callie. Idola had assured her that Callie had not disclosed her location. She had no ides where to go from here. She could go to LA, but how would she know where to look?

As if a sign from the fates, her cell buzzed with a new message from Mark.

**Stevens spilled. Callie's in LA. Erica… Ethan proposed.**

Erica felt her world crumble for the second time that week. Callie was getting married…again? No, she couldn't have said yes. But that would explain why she left. No, that wasn't like Callie. She wouldn't do that. Not after what she'd admitted at the wedding. It didn't make sense.

In a minute she was on the phone with the airline.

"I need a seat on the first flight to LA."


	30. Maybe This Maybe That

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: so the search continues. Is callie in LA? Maybe, maybe not.

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The flight to LA was much shorter than the flight from Seattle to Miami had been, even with one more layover in Las Vegas.

The next flight out had been only two hours after she called and she had hurried down to the front desk to check out. The confused clerk had asked her repeatedly if she had been dissatisfied with the hotel's service but she had assured him that was not the case. She had caught her flight with just mere seconds to spare.

Now, as she flew that last small forty five minutes hop between Las Vegas and Los Angeles, she felt her hope start mounting again. There was a new urgency to her mission, but she felt assured that Callie was not going to marry Ethan. At least not right away. Callie was not stupid enough to make the same mistake she had with George. She had more sense than to do the Vegas quickie wedding again. So she remained calm though the seconds were hours as she waited to arrive at her destination.

She zipped through LAX and out the front doors to the waiting assortment of cabs. She grabbed the first one she saw.

"Oceanside Wellness Center, please. And step on it."

If anyone knew where in LA Callie was, Addison did.

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Erica emerged from the elevator into an open lobby. She took in the relaxed vibe, nothing at all like Seattle Grace. There were comfy couches to sit on, a video played in the background of the OWC employees.

A young man who looked handsome enough to be a model sat behind the front desk. He looked up as she approached.

"Appointment or walk in?"

"Neither." She tried to put on her best professional front. "I'm here to see Dr. Montgomery. I'm an old colleague of hers."

The man raised a perfect eyebrow. "You've worked with Addison?"

"Dell, I have a c-section scheduled for the Shapiro baby at 3 if you would like to assist." Addison appeared from around the corner, her head bent over a file she was flipping through. She wore the traditional white coat over a silk button up blouse and a pencil skirt. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun and she wore stilettos. She was exactly as Erica remembered her from when they first met, back before her an Callie had been a thing. It seemed like a distant memory; she didn't think much about time before Callie these days. Though the redhead had sat next to her for the duration of Mark's nuptials, they had barely said more than a few words to each other.

When Dell hadn't responded to her question immediately, she looked up curiously and the blonde instantly caught her attention.

"Erica." Like Idola, Addison didn't seem surprised to see her. Erica hadn't decided whether that was a good thing or not yet.

"Addison." Erica's lips fell into a hard line. The neonatal surgeon looked a little uncomfortable, but she didn't care. She was here on an important mission.

"Addison, the Shapiro case… I'd like to assist." Dell chimed in with an obvious attempt to break or at least ease the tension.

"Oh right. Okay. Thanks Dell. Erica… why don't we talk in my office?" Addison turned on her heels and led the way back down the hallway from whence she came.

Once they were seated facing each other in Addison's office, the redhead relaxed a little. She seemed to feel slightly safer now that there was a desk between her and Erica.

"You know why I'm here Addison." Erica didn't want to play any games this time. It was time she found Callie and took her home.

"I do." Addison nodded, but didn't seem to want to explain further.

"I know you know where she is. Please, I need to find her." Erica wasn't the type to plead or beg; it just wasn't her style. But she was desperate here. It would take forever to find Callie without any help, especially in a place like LA.

"That's where you're wrong. I have no idea where Callie went. She is not here Erica, not anymore at least. She left yesterday.

Erica's heart fell. This couldn't be happening again. Was Callie really running from her. Every time she came close, she just slipped a little farther out of reach.

Addison noticed the fall in her mood and instantly gave her a reassuring smile. "Listen Erica, she loves you okay? She's not going to prance off into the sunset with Ethan West while she still cares for you. You know that's not how Callie operates."

"Maybe this is a sign that I need to stop chasing her. Maybe she was just never meant to end up with me, friendship or otherwise." Erica didn't want to admit it, but it was hard to ignore the obvious truths once they are thrown up in your face.

"Don't say that Erica. Did you ever think maybe that's what Callie's waiting for? Maybe she's waiting for you to give up as the sign that she should marry Ethan." Addison gave her a stern look but then smiled. "Ethan is a good guy. He's the west coast version of Derek Shepard. He's the white knight who would never intentionally inflict pain on anyone and who respects the people he cares about. Callie would be safe with him. She would be loved and they would have a good life together.. But without you Erica, it would be an empty life. Something inside her would always be missing. I'm not guaranteeing that the two of you would last forever, but I do know she's happier whenever you're around. I have a sixth sense about these kinda things. You need to find her Erica, not only to win her back but because first and foremost you are her best friend and you need to save her from making another mistake."

Erica sighed. "I just don't even know where to go from here. Where else would she go? I suppose she could have gone to where Ethan's from but I don't have any idea where that is. And I…" Erica paused thoughtfully. She could swear she was missing something. What was it that she wasn't seeing? And then it hit her like a ton of bricks. "Wait!"

Addison jumped at her sudden exclamation. "What?"

"I do know where Ethan's from, or at least I can figure it out." A new enthusiasm sucked Erica in as she pulled out her cell phone and hit the third number on speed dial.

Mark answered on the second ring. "Erica, did you find her?" He sounded anxious.

"Not yet Mark." Addison eyes grew wide and then she made a face but Erica chose to ignore her reaction. "I need you to do me a favor. Are you at the hospital?"

"Yeah, why?" Mark seemed curious now.

"I need you to look up the file for Nathan West and tell me where he's from. It's important." Erica's enthusiasm continued to grow. She was like a tracker that had just caught the fresh scent of its prey.

"Oh, speaking of Nathan West, I was gonna call you tonight. Ethan's secretary called you back and left a message saying that Mr. West was still out of town but in case of emergencies regarding his brother's case, he could be reached at 209-712-3871."

Erica's stomach lurched. "Thanks Mark." She hung up before he could say anything else.

"I know where Callie is."

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Callie looked out the window to the ground that had been covered in snow just four months before. Now, lush green grass was peeking its way into the world. It was an entirely different world than it had been before.

A knock against the open door startled her from her reminiscence. She looked up and smiled at the intruder.

Gail smiled back at her. "You look gorgeous Callie."

Callie twirled around, admiring herself in the full length mirror in the guest bedroom of the main house, where she and Ethan had been staying for the past couple nights. The full white skirt twirled around her. It would be good for dancing were she to have a reception. It wasn't the dress she'd always wanted to get married in, though it was startlingly beautiful. Designer as Ethan had insisted upon getting. She felt too plain, too simple to be wearing it, but everyone kept insisting it was the other way around.

"Ethan's waiting." Gail tried to smile as she said it, but there was an unmistakable sadness in her eyes.

Callie nodded, but didn't move. "Thanks for letting me do this here Gail. Besides Seattle, it's the only place that's really felt like home for a long time. I really didn't want to do this in Vegas again. I know this is Erica's place not mine, but I appreciate you understanding."

Gail waved her off. "I told you that you were always welcome here and I meant it."

"Thanks." Callie looked back once in the mirror, trying to fight off the small ache that she felt. Since she had been here the first time, with Erica, she'd had the dream of walking down the aisle and Erica not stopping her at least once a week. She had never told Erica about, or anyone for that matter. Now, it seems, her dream was about to come true. She was walking down the aisle and Erica was not going to stop her. She had just let her walk away. Callie was smart enough to get the message. She had no clue if what Mark had told was true, if Erica truly was searching for her, or if it was just his own personal ploy to get her back to Seattle.

"You don't have to do this Callie… it doesn't have to be this way. Maybe you should wait." Gail's tone was soft, consoling. She knew Callie was grieving inside.

Callie turned back to her, blinking back the tears. "I love with Ethan West. Why wait?"


	31. Some Fight And Some Just Let Go

DISCLAIMER:: not mine. belongs to shonda and abc.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: so, I am just going to reiterate what I posted on my profile. I have fallen into an unfortunate circumstance and I won't be able to post for a while. And I know I am leaving it at a very bad spot, but it will get better once I return. I assure everyone that I am a fan of happy endings. Until I return, read and review.

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Erica walked around the back of the house. White ribbon and roses still clung to the small grouping of chairs and the tent that had blocked the party from the sun. It had been small, probably at Callie's request. Erica remained surprisingly calm as she surveyed the remains. So this was where it had happened. She didn't need to see Gail and the guilt in her eyes to know that she was too late. She had felt it the whole drive upstate. It had been exactly a week since Mark's wedding, a night that had changed the path of Callie's life. How ironic that she was now staring at the leftovers of the wedding that would change the path of hers.

She wasn't quite ready to face the confirmation that awaited her in the house, so she turned away and took an all too familiar path.

It didn't take her long to reach the lake; the trek was gradually less difficult without the snow. The water sparkled softly in the sun.

She went to the edge, picked up a flat stone and tossed it. It skipped three times before plunking into the depths. She cast a glance over her shoulder at the pair of gravestones.

"This is your fault you know." She turned at walked over to the one on the right.

"It's all your fault. You didn't teach me to fight for what I love. You let Brenna walk out of your life, and in turn, I let Callie walk out of mine. How could you let that happen? You were supposed to teach me these things! You were my sister! How could you not tell me these things? How could you not tell me you were sick? I could have saved you!" Erica fell to her knees in front of the grave. "I could have saved you!"

She cried openly over the grave of a sister she had never known. Callie was the only person she had ever really known, and now she wasn't even convinced that was true. She had thought that Callie's torment over her divorce from George would prevent her from every repeating that mistake again. But the scene in Gail's backyard proved that she had been wrong about that. Maybe Erica didn't know anyone. That realization brought a wave of loneliness she had kept buried deep so she wouldn't have to feel it.

"She tried really hard, you know, to be the best sister she could be. She wanted to tell you so many times Erica, she really did. But she knew how you would react and she didn't want to be saved. She knew what it would mean: radiation, chemo, pills, radical treatments… She didn't want to live that way. She made her choice the moment she found out. She sat Brenna down and explained it to her. There's a difference between not fighting for someone and letting someone go so they can have a shot at being happy."

Part of Erica wanted to stand and push Michael back over the cliff, but the bigger part just listened. This may not be what she wanted to hear, but she needed to hear it.

Finally she stood and turned to face him. "I'm not dying like my sister was. And I know that I can't let Callie go because I truly believe she would be happier with me than she would be with Ethan. I know this because I would give it all up for her. If she asked me to leave Seattle, leave SGH, leave cardiothoracics… I would do it. I might protest, but I'd do it. Because there are things in life more important than careers, than fame, like her smile, and the way her entire face seems to light up when she laughs, and the way her hairs falls across my pillow in the morning. I would give everything for that; I'd pay any price. Ethan wouldn't. He only proposed after she agreed to run off to LA with him."

Michael frowned. "How do you know for sure this isn't what she wanted?"

Erica opened her mouth to respond, but then realized she didn't know the answer. She just knew… deep down, she knew, broken and damaged as she was, she was still better for Callie than Mr. Perfect.

Michael nodded; he understood. "Come on Erica. I have something I think you should see."

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Erica followed Michael down to the main house. He didn't hesitate before going inside. Erica did however. Michael didn't come to retrieve her though she stood, staring blankly at the house for several minutes. He was granting her alone time. Finally, Erica willed herself to enter. Michael had paused on the bottom step of the staircase. He nodded understandingly and ascended when he saw Erica had caught up. He led Erica upstairs to a room she was familiar with. It had been a guestroom up until Brenna and Michael had started dating heavily. She had moved into this room. The first person she saw when she entered the room was Gail. The woman looked aged in the several months since she'd last seen her, all her usual cheer was gone. It took a few minutes for Erica to notice that her hand was resting over a small frail object: another hand. The second hand belonged to Brenna, or at least what remained of her. She was hours, days at best, from death. Erica knew instantly even if the girl were to agree to a transplant, it wouldn't save her. She was too far gone. Like Kayla, she had made her decision.

Erica saw the tears Michael was holding back as he walked around the bed to her other side. He brushed away a strand of hair from his face. The muscles and bones in her face struggled under her paper thin skin to form a smile, though they never really managed it. He smiled, understanding the gesture she had been trying to make.

"Erica's here." His voice was a loving whisper. He was still hopelessly devoted to her, though she was dying for somebody else. That was true love, though unrequited, and Erica knew she would do the same if it were Callie on the bed.

Brenna took nearly a minute to turn her head in Erica's direction, but her eyes lit up when she saw the blonde. They were the only part of her that seemed unaffected by the infection spreading out from her heart. Erica saw life in them, hope, even as this frail woman stood on the edge of death. Erica realized that the light in her eyes came not from a hope that she would pull through and live, but a hope that she'd finally get to be with the love of her life once she went. Erica covered her mouth to keep from sobbing out loud.

Michael ignored her emotions and looked back down at Brenna. She slowly met his gaze.

"I want to show Erica the video. You don't mind watching again, do you?"

Brenna shook her head twice, an action that took too much effort.

Gail stood and offered Erica her seat. She gazed into Erica's eyes, exchanging her wordless sorrows with the cardio doctor through her stare. Then she put a comforting hand on Erica's shoulder and walked out of the room.

Erica looked to the TV set up in front of the bed. She saw the stacks of home movies next to it, all their old memories on tape. So Brenna was watching these all before she died. The need to cry crept up on her again, but she forced it back down. Her hand, like Gail's, came to rest naturally on Brenna's. Michael fidgeted with the remote and finally got the DVD player working. The screen crackled as the movie was being read.

Erica had to swallow back a gasp as Callie's face filled the screen.

_"Ugh… get that thing out of my face Ben."_ Erica sighed at Callie's annoyed tone. Once upon a time, Callie had used that exact tone to address Sloan.

_"Come on, it's your wedding day. Plus, I need to film it for Brenna. She won't be downstairs, remember?" The voice, Ben's obviously, was solemn as he said this. He really loved Brenna, just as they all did. She was his sister._

_"She should be downstairs. Or maybe we can move the wedding upstairs. I don't want her to miss this just because she's…"_

_"Dying?"_

_"You think I'm being selfish?" Callie seemed upset._

_"No. Brenna's your best friend. It's understandable that you want her at your wedding. But today is about you, so let's drop the depressing garbage."_

_"Ugh… don't remind me. I hate being the center of attention."_ Callie distanced herself from the camera and Erica caught sight of white. Her dress hung on a hanger on the front of the closet door. It was gorgeous and it oozed expensive.

_"You sure made a weird choice for your husband."_

_Callie rolled her eyes. She had heard that one before. "Now get out of here so I can change. If you get me naked on camera it'll be leaked onto the internet somehow and I will be the center of the next celebrity video scandal, all before I'm even a celebrity."_

The screen went black for a moment and when the picture returned, they were in a different room. Callie had her hair up now, graceful and wispy. Erica had always preferred her hair down, but she thought anything looked gorgeous on Callie. Though the camera was too close to see the full view, Erica could tell she was already in her dress.

_"So, tell me, why Ethan West?"_

Erica gritted her teeth as Callie told of her love of Ethan West. Finally it cut again. The next scene she saw was the bottom of the stairs, looking up.

_"Come on down Callie. We're waiting."_

_Gail came rushing down that stairs first in a fancy dress. "Here she comes."_

Erica stopped breathing as Callie appeared at the top of the stairs. She was breathtaking. She had seen this so many times in daydreams. Callie, in white, walking down the aisle, although she'd always assumed she'd play a bigger part in it.

_Callie descended the stairs slowly, eyes trained on the camera._

_"I'm gonna go tell everyone we're ready." Gail rushed off._

_Ben sat the camera down. She couldn't tell whether he was pretending to shut it off or whether he really thought it was off._

_"Good. I am so tired of being in front of the camera."_

_"Well, it's kinda what you have to look forward to. You're marrying an actor."_

_"Point taken." Callie frowned._

_"Callie…" Ben's tone was instantly more somber._

_"What?"_

_"Why are you doing this?"_

_"What?"_

_"Please just take a step back and think."_

_"I have thought about this."_

_Gail's voice drifted in from off screen. "Callie, it's time."_

_An audible thud could be heard upstairs. Everyone tensed, fearing the worst. Michael's voice drifted down the stairs. "It's okay. She just fell out of bed. She's fine."_

The next scene was the wedding. Erica wanted to look away, but she was transfixed.

_It went just as quickly as Mark's had. It was only a few minutes before it was coming to a close._

_"Do you, Ethan Marcus West, take Calliope Iphegenia Torres to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to honor and obey, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"_

_"I do."_

_"And do you, Calliope Iphegenia Torres, take Ethan Marcus West to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and to cherish, to honor and obey, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"_

_Callie looked up towards the house, searching for something, seeming to need a confirmation. It took her a moment but she found what she was looking for._

_"I do…"_

The screen cut off completely. Erica was almost shocked to see the controller in her hand, her finger on the stop button.

"I'm sorry; I can't watch anymore."

"I understand."

Erica set the controller in Michael's outstretched hand and left the room.

It was official. Callie's wasn't hers anymore.


	32. The Silence Says it All

DISCLAIMER:: not mine. just borrowing.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: well I must say I was not expecting such a negative reaction to the last chapter. Thanks to all the reviewers for keeping it night, but to those of you who sent me PM's… could have been nicer. I see that patience and trust are not virtues many people possess these days. I told everyone that I believed in happy endings, and I meant it. If this story had been only a fluffy relationship between callie and erica, it would have been much much shorter, because that's not what I write. Relationships don't go that smoothly, that's not reality… anyway, I'm not here to rant. Just to say that my unfortunate situation I mentioned last chapter isn't as unfortunate anymore so posted will be farther apart but not nonexistent…

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Erica Hahn had never been one to admit defeat, mostly because Erica Hahn was never defeated. But there came a time for everything. Erica Hahn had felt truly and utterly defeated as she had driven away from Foxtail Creek after just a few words of goodbye. She had felt defeated the plane ride home. She had felt defeated as she took the cab to her apartment. She had felt defeated as she had opened the door. And she had felt defeated as she raided the kitchen and found that she had absolutely no wine at her disposal. So it was, on this day, that Erica Hahn openly admitted defeat.

Thoroughly disappointed that she couldn't get fucked up, but too tired to go out to a bar, she headed instead for the living room to sulk. It was dark. She took in her target, the couch, and stopped dead. She walked around it and stared at Callie, still in her wedding dress. The brunette's head was down, she was focusing on her skirt rather than looking up. Erica held her breath as if the simple action of taking in air would disturb her ex. Erica reached out a hand longingly, wanting to pull the younger woman into her arms and just hold her. But her hand fell as she realized she couldn't. Callie no longer belonged with her. Maybe she never really had.

Callie said nothing as she sat down at the far left side of the long couch. Callie was dead center. Erica stared at her, questions flying through her thought at a mile a minute, but she asked none of them.

Finally Callie just laid down, resting her head in Erica's lap, facing the wall in front of them. Erica stroked her raven locks without hesitation. This felt like old times and for a moment, Erica was able to forget what had happened in the past several months. It was as if they had never broken up.

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They spent the hours until dawn in this comfortable silence. Neither woman felt obligated to explain themselves to the other. They were just _there_. Exactly how they used to be.

Erica pondered exactly how she had let Callie drift out of her life? Callie had been right about Brenna. She had been right; she'd done nothing wrong. But Erica had felt betrayed and instantly gave her the label of enemy, a label she hadn't deserved. She had just wanted to give Brenna a chance. Erica's pride had kept her from apologizing. And now she was lost. She was Callie West. Erica shuddered at the name. It wasn't fitting, though she couldn't decide if that was because she really didn't like it, or if it was because she'd rather put hers there. Callie Hahn. No, that was too odd. Callie Torres-Hahn. Yes, that was much better. Wait…what was she thinking? Callie was a married woman…again.

Callie's thoughts were ones of self-loathing. _What have you done to your life? It was so perfect before! It was Seattle, and Sloan, and breaking bones, and…Erica. It was absolutely perfect! And you run off and flounce down the aisle with some big shot TV star. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! _

The sun rose higher. Erica knew that, though she was hiding it perfectly, Callie was dead tired. She'd obviously kept herself awake so she could be up when Erica got home. The blonde's hand, still running fingers through her silky curls, came to rest on her shoulder. "Why don't you try and get some sleep? You can use my bed; I won't be needing it for awhile."

Callie nodded. She sat up and stood.

Erica was once again drawn in by her beauty. Her hair was a little disheveled and her make up had worn off, but she looked just as beautiful as she had in the video, at the top of the stairs.

Erica looked down to avoid staring.

"Erica…" It was a soft volume, but with implied meaning, loaded. The blonde looked up instantly, drawn in by its deep tone. Callie finally met her eyes for the first time since Mark's wedding, the night they had danced together. She saw agony in them, war. "Please… come sleep with me. I don't want to be alone."

Erica's head protested, but her heart, however shattered it may be, still belonged to Callie. She found herself nodding without even realizing she was doing it. She stood and followed Callie into her bedroom.

Callie laid down and curled up. Erica went to the opposite side of the bed and did the same. Callie turned to face her. She reached out a hand and pulled Erica closer to her. She buried her face deep into Erica's neck and was asleep within moments.

Erica couldn't sleep, afraid Callie would be gone when she woke up, so she just closed her eyes and breathed Callie in. She knew it was too good to last, and she wanted to hold this memory for as long as she could. Callie smelled like the usual lavender and vanilla, a combination of scents that was meant to help an individual unwind. Callie sighed in her sleep, but shivered a little. Erica pulled her in closer and encircled her with her arms. Callie stopped shivering.

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Erica didn't know how many hours passed, but she didn't care. It wouldn't be long enough.

Her thoughts had been drifting, but they were pulled back to reality when she felt soft lips on her neck. She kept her eyes closed, but licked her lips. This had to be a fantasy. If she opened her eyes, she was sure she'd find Callie still asleep. Kisses continued to caress her neck, her cheek, her forehead, her eyelids, and then her lips. She met the contact here, reciprocating fully.

Callie broke away. "Erica, open your eyes."

Erica reluctantly obeyed. Callie was smiling at her, her face only inches away. Her eyes held no regret, no guilt. In fact they were sparkling in a way they hadn't done in months. She didn't appear very sorry for cheating on her husband, not that Erica was complaining. And then it hit her right between the eyes.

"You didn't marry him?"

Callie bit her lip to hide a smile and shook her head.

"You left him at the altar?"

Callie nodded.

"Why?"

"Brenna."

"Brenna?" Erica raised an eyebrow.

Callie nodded again, and leaned down, giving Erica a peck on the lips. "I was so busy trying to not waste my time, to find a place to belong, a home. I thought by marrying Ethan, I was doing that. She taught me that there's a difference between living a full life and trying to jam everything in all at once. And she taught me that home isn't necessarily a place…" Callie's eyes flashed down to a hand Erica had on her hip. She snaked her fingers through Erica's, intertwining them. "Home can be a person."

Erica pulled Callie's face back to hers, kissing her fiercely. Tears brimmed her eyes, threatening to spill over. Callie melted into her, an action that felt so familiar as it washed over them. Their bodies tingled and got warm, as if they were waking up from a very long nap.

Erica pulled away for breath and Callie took advantage of the opportunity to attach her neck again, sucking on her pulse point. Her eyelids fluttered and it took all her energy to pull back.

"I have an idea."


	33. Finding One Truth

DISCLAIMER:: not mine and all

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: this is what happened while Erica was off on her search. I didn't want to leave everyone in the dark as to all those missing pieces of Callie's time. Here's little snippets of what happened from when she left Seattle to when she returned. you all are just going to have to wait for the next update to find out what erica's idea was... mwah ha ha (and various other evil cackles)

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"Thanks."

"For what?" Ethan smiled over at her from his place behind the wheel before returning his eyes to the road.

"Well Foxtail Creek was kinda out of our way. We pretty much had a straight shot down I-5 to LA, but you took a detour to take my friend home. You didn't have to. So, thanks." Callie sounded like she was talking to some random guy rather than her quite serious boyfriend. She had been awkward ever since Ethan had asked her to marry him right after they left the wedding. She was surprised; she had not been expecting this. But that wasn't the only cause of her tension, her confusion. She had also danced with Erica. She had danced very intimately with Erica. And she had told her that she loved her for the first time. And Erica had repeated the words back to her. How was she supposed to process this? She wasn't even supposed to be thinking about Erica Hahn right now. Erica was done, Erica was over. It was a chapter of her life that had been closed when Ethan came into her life. She had accepted that. Or had she? She wasn't as sure as she had been just a few days before.

"You'll love living in LA Callie. It's so different than Seattle. It rains a lot less for one thing."

_Erica loves the rain. No! Bad Callie! No Erica!_ "I like the sun." Callie tried to sound enthusiastic. Ever since she had actually packed her stuff into the back of Ethan's spacious SUV she had been lacking that particular quality.

"I know it's gonna be an adjustment, but we can do this. I promise. A few weeks and you'll be forgetting all about Seattle."

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"He's hot Callie, and rich, and famous. What's not to like?" Addison popped a potato chip into her mouth. They were sitting on the back deck of her house, staring out at the ocean.

"I don't care about the fame or the money, or even that he's hot." Callie sighed.

"Then why again are you dating him?" Addison stared at her questioningly.

"I don't even know anymore. I remember why we got together in the first place, but that's not the reason we're together anymore. I think maybe I've just gotten used to him. We're following the normal pattern of relationships now, just going with the flow."

"So… break up with him."

"You act like it's that simple."

Addison shrugged as if it really were that _simple_.

Callie sighed again. "I can't just leave him. I made sure I closed every door in Seattle. Even if I decided that I wanted to break up with him, where would I go?"

Addison rolled her eyes as if it were obvious. "Back to Erica."

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"Why are we going back there again?" Ethan quirked an eyebrow in Callie's direction. She was stewing in the front seat as they merged onto the highway about to drive back the way they had come.

"Because I really don't feel like getting married in LA."

Ethan nearly slammed on the break but was able to avoid it at the last minute. "You're going to marry me? You're saying yes?" There was obvious elation in his voice. This was what he really wanted.

"Yes, I'm saying yes. But there are conditions."

"Okay."

"First, it has to be tomorrow. Second, I want it to be small, just the family that lives there, a minister and us. And third… well, there is no third."

Ethan brooded for a moment. "Okay. But I have conditions of my own."

"Okay, shoot." Callie wrung her hands. She hadn't been expecting him to agree, let alone have conditions of his own.

"First, you have to agree that we will do this the proper way sometime in the future. Big church, both our families, your dad walking you down the aisle, a reception, bridesmaids, everything. And second, you have to wear a wedding dress. I refuse to marry you if we're in jeans."

Callie weighed her options. She wanted to get this over with. If those were the terms, then she'd just have to agree with them. Finally, she nodded. "Agreed."

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The entire day had been one Donovan after the other trying to convince her she was making a mistake. She had thought getting married at Foxtail Creek would be a good decision, but she was starting to think maybe LA really would have been better. Ethan had gone and stayed at a hotel in Tahoe the night before so he would avoid seeing her prior to the wedding. He would be back that evening for their wedding.

They had bought her dress in LA before they left the city. It was extravagant to say the least. Designer. Vera Wang if she remembered correctly.

She was dismayed that Brenna had gotten worse. Michael had stayed home to take care of her while she and Gail had gone to pick up supplies and secure a minister.

Gail had attacked her then, asking her repeatedly if she was pregnant. A shotgun wedding did seem the most likely reason. Callie wasn't usually impulsive. Or at least she hadn't been since George. Except for when she kissed Erica that first time. And when she'd agreed to have drinks with Ethan. And when she'd picked up and ran off to LA with him… Okay, so maybe she was impulsive, but this was even a little too impulsive for her. But Gail kept prodding about why she was "running away" from her true feelings and her life back in Seattle.

When they had returned to the house and Gail had gone to take her turn at Brenna's bedside, Michael had taken his turn with her. He had stressed how much Erica obviously cared for her and how much her career had meant to her. He seemed more concerned that she was running off to LA than he was about her getting married, but it was still annoying.

Finally, Ben caught her when they were washing dishes after dinner together. He was the only one who hadn't liked Ethan from the moment they had met, back when they had first brought Brenna. She thought it was jealousy for a little bit, but he told her, in between the insults he had for Ethan, that he thought Ethan looked at her like she was some kind of trophy that he had won, but not in a good way, in a sleazy way.

So, she retreated to the room where Brenna was bedridden. Gail left them alone so she and Callie could talk.

Brenna's condition had worsened considerably in the few days since she had last seen her. Time away from the hospital and all the machines was obviously speeding up her deterioration.

"Hey." Brenna voice was barely above a breathy whisper. "I heard you were tying the knot."

Callie nodded. "So it would seem."

Callie braced herself for the torrent of disapproval. She knew the other three would be nothing compared to the scolding she would get from Erica's oldest friend.

"Good for you."

"Really?" Callie tilted her head in confusion.

"Really. If you're happy, that's what matters."

"Thanks. It's nice to know _somebody's_ on my side. It seems like I'm in a house full of enemies."

"Well they have only seen the way you were with Erica when you were last here and then they only met Ethan when you guys dropped me off. They saw how you were with her, compared with how you were with him, and that's how they've formed their opinion. Plus, Erica kind of has an advantage since she has a history with them. But I have seen this entire thing play out. I've heard all sides, and I'm being objective. If Ethan makes you happy, then I'm happy that you're happy."

"Brenna?"

"Yeah?"

"If you had to pick one for me, based on what you've heard and seen, who would it be?"

"I am in no position to answer that. I can't make your decision for you Callie."

"I'm not asking you to. My decision has been made. I just want to know. You'd pick Erica too, wouldn't you?"

"You talked about how you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with Ethan, but you talked about how you couldn't see yourself spending the rest of your life _without_ Erica…"

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Callie took Michael's arm. He wasn't her father but he had agreed to walk her down the aisle in his place.

She thought over all the conversations and stuff that had happened since she'd arrived the night before. It all seemed to point that what she was doing was wrong, but she couldn't imagine leaving Ethan. She really did love him. But was that enough?

It would have to be.

It all seemed to blow by. Marching down the aisle, standing in front of his smiling face. She expected it to feel right, but it didn't. But it also didn't feel wrong either. It just seemed normal.

She let her thought drift with the minister's voice like she had during Mark's wedding, though she kept an ear out for her cue.

She thought over her life. It had been quite a ride, but she could only find just a few occasions where she'd lived life to the fullest. Kissing Erica after they had worked on cement boy definitely topped the list. Moving to Seattle, becoming a doctor. The rest was just living.

"And do you Calliope Iphegenia Torres take Ethan Marcus West to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and to cherish, to honor and obey, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

This was her part. She looked towards the house, skimming the window. She found what she was looking for. Brenna sat in the window of her room. Gail had refused to let her come down, so they had set up an armchair by the window so she could at least watch. They shared a wordless moment. It was a moment when several realizations hit Callie at once. She was doing the wrong thing. She was desperately in love with Erica Hahn. She hated LA. She missed her job. She should be, but was not truly in love with Ethan West.

And the biggest of all: that she had been testing everyone this entire time. That night when she had first come to Foxtail Creek she had had that dream of the wedding where Erica hadn't stopped her. She had secretly been doing this to see if Erica cared enough to stop her.

All these realizations drew her to one plain truth.

Sometimes you can't wait for someone to save you; you have to save yourself.

"I do not."

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"You made the right decision Callie." Ben beamed at her. He had taken a particular amount of satisfaction in seeing Ethan completely broken by her.

"Just get me back to Seattle."

"We're almost to Washington; I'll have you there in no time. What are you going to do once you get there?"

"I hadn't thought that far ahead yet."

"You left some stuff there right?"

"No. I have nothing. All my clothes, all my belongings, are back in LA with Ethan. I gave up my apartment, my job. I don't even know where I'm going once I get there."

"Erica will be there. She'll help you get your life back. But…" Ben hesitated, and looked slightly uncomfortable.

"But what?"

"You might want to take the wedding dress off before you see her. She might not react well to it. Erica Hahn doesn't have a history of having the best temper…"

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Callie stood before Erica's door. She knocked once, twice, and then a third time. No answer.

"Hey Callie. Been a while since I've seen you here."

Callie turned and met with Leslie, Erica's twentysomething neighbor down the hall.

Leslie stopped dead when she saw Callie's wedding dress. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"No one. We didn't… It's a long story. Do you know where Erica is? Is she at the hospital?"

"No. She went on vacation a few days ago. I have no idea when she'll be back, but you know her… I don't think she could be away from work too long."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks."

"No problem. Take it easy Callie." Leslie turned and headed off to her apartment.

Callie dug in the back pack she had taken to Foxtail Creek. It had two changes of clothes, both already worn when she had been there, her wallet and her keys. One of which was a key to Erica apartment. Erica had made a copy for her a few weeks into their relationship, partly because she spent so much time there anyway and partly because neither of them wanted the lost keys situation (i.e. the night of their first real kiss) to repeat itself.

The apartment was dark and lonely. Callie tossed her bag down by the couch and fell down on it. She wanted to sleep her exhaustion off and she did for a little bit, but her sleep was easy. She was afraid she'd miss the moment when Erica came home.

So, in the end, she explored the apartment. It had been months since she'd last been there. Every room was the same, save one. Erica's room had remained unchanged in every way but one. Sitting on the bedside table, where it hadn't been before, was a photo in a frame. It was a photo of Erica and her in each other's arms, a photo of them at Foxtail Creek, the photo she had left for Erica to find. It was the last remaining evidence of her existence in Seattle, and Erica had kept it.

Callie returned to the couch, a war now raging inside of her.

"Oh my god, what have I done?"


	34. Dirty Little Secret

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: so I am thoroughly disappointed that callie is going for crazy sadie. Really callie? Lowering your standards just a little there, dontcha think? Anyways, this chapter is more filler than anything else. You all are just have to be patient before I let you know what erica's idea was. This story is winding down to a close, just a few chapters left to go. Sequel? Yes, no, maybe so?

DISCLAIMER:: not mine. shonda's.

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"This is Seattle Grace Hospital we're talking about Erica, really." Callie gave the blonde a look that said 'get real'. "Three weeks is a lifetime there. For all we know Meredith could have had a sex change and married Yang"

"Well… we have to go back sometime Callie. We already took one liberty too many with taking that extra week off for our little trip. I know Richard hasn't filled your position permanently yet, but he's not going to hold it for you for long. We can't stay here in bed forever."

Callie's voice took on a whining edge. "Why not?" Her bottom lip jutted out and quivered as she pouted.

Erica smiled and leaned forward to kiss it away. Callie instantly reciprocated, putting a hand to Erica's cheek to draw her in closer. Erica's senses quit on her and she was lost in the kiss. Finally Callie broke it, smiling at her work.

"Okay, I retract that last statement." Erica smiled. "You. Me. Bed. Forever. I could do that."

Callie leaned in and kissed her again.

"Oh yeah, I could definitely do that." Erica stole another lingering kiss, one Callie instantly tried to deepen. Erica pulled away and put a finger over Callie's lips to halt another attack. "But I'm not going to. I am going back to work. And I would love it if you'd come with me."

Callie sat up and sighed, looking back down over her shoulder at the blonde. "Okay, I'll go, I'll beg for my job back, and I'll endure all the curious stares and whispered words but only because I couldn't imagine spending my days alone while you're at work."

Erica sat up and gave Callie a quick peck on her lips. "I knew you'd see things my way."

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Callie stood, looking up at the hospital she had once called home. It seemed foreign now. She had only been gone three weeks and already she felt like a stranger. She had meant what she said to Erica that morning when she told her so much could change in three weeks. Especially in a place like Seattle Grace Hospital.

Erica leaned in close to her ear. "You don't have to do this today, if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel pressured Cal."

Callie shook her head, determination lighting her features. "No. I need to do this, love."

She squared her shoulders and marched forward through the front doors of SGH.

As she and Erica rode the elevator up to the surgical floor, Erica kissed her neck softly. It had been like this for them all week, ever since the morning after Erica had found her in the apartment.

They had decided to let everyone at Seattle Grace think Erica was still looking for her and had run off together on a little vacation. Both women had agreed that they needed to be alone together and take time to remember why they got together in the first place, remember that draw that had once been unbearable to ignore.

Getting away had been Callie's idea after Erica had shared hers. Now they were inseparable, barely able to keep their hands off each other for more than a few minutes at a time.

"You ready for this?" Erica mumbled in between kisses as the elevator dinged, signaling their floor.

Callie nodded. "As long as you're with me, yes."

Erica smiled. "Always."

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"Dr. Torres. It's nice to see you here. I was worried when Dr. Hahn had called and requested another week to look for you that she might return unsuccessful." He glanced at both her and Erica over his reading glasses and both women instantly knew he knew the truth.

Callie ignored his question and just bit her lip. There was no guarantee that she would get her job back. He could have already filled it.

The Chief held his out towards Callie. "Welcome back to Seattle Grace, Dr. Torres."

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Mark Sloan stood, flipping through files at the nearest nurses' station. Callie crept slowly staying by the wall, gently sliding her way down the hall to avoid detection. When she got close enough, she crept forward, making sure she kept her footfalls silent. She leaned up to his ear. "You. Me. Third floor on call room. Just like old times. How 'bout it?"

Mark froze and turned slowly on his heel. "Callie?"

"In the flesh." Callie smiled.

Mark pulled her into a quick hug. "Callie…West?"

"Almost."

Mark shuddered. "Ugh, scary thought."

Callie rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it."

"So what happened? Did Erica crash the wedding or what?"

Callie shook her head "No. I left him…kinda at the altar." Callie scrunched her nose. She still felt kind of guilty about that particular move.

"Have you seen Erica yet? She was worried sick about you. In older times, her pain would have given me a twisted amount of pleasure, but now, it was just depressing."

Callie nodded. "We came in together."

"As in, 'we bumped into each other outside and walked in together' together or as in 'we're back together' together."

"Erica and I are very much back together."

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"I got a new roommate."

"Excuse me?" Callie looked up from her salad.

Christina set her tray down and stared at Callie bluntly. "I got a new roommate. If you were expecting to come back here and have your old room back, you were wrong. I got a new roommate."

Callie shrugged. "I think I might be staying at Erica's on a more permanent basis anyway."

Christina looked relieved. "Good. I thought you might fight me on it. Since technically you're paid up for a little while longer."

"Nope. All yours and…" Callie looked at Christina, prompting a response with a gesture of the fork she still held.

"Hunt's." Christina shifted ever so slightly in her chair. "Mine and Hunt's."

Callie smiled. "Good for you Yang."

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Slowly, news spread that Callie Torres was back, for good. She ran into to all the usual gang as each of them came to see for themselves. She had known her return would be hot gossip, at least for a few days before some other scandal presented itself. Bu the end of the day, she was exhausted, and she hadn't even performed and surgery. So the relief she felt when she saw Erica emerging off the elevator into the lobby, where they had agreed to meet, was immense.

"Hey." Erica didn't hold back on the PDA. She wrapped an arm around Callie's waist and pulled her in for a slow-burning kiss. Callie closed her eyes and pulled away.

"Hey."

"How was your first day back?" Erica still kept an arm around her waist but steered her towards the front doors.

"It was good, slow but good. I can't wait to get back to surgery though. I'm itching to actually work."

Erica chuckled. "So, nobody suspected anything?"

Callie shook her head. "Nope."

Erica nodded. "Good… because I don't think I'm ready to let particular bit of info fall on the ears of _anyone_ in this hospital just yet."

Callie smiled. "It'll be our little secret."


	35. I'm Melting

DISCLAIMER:: no copyright infringement intended. just borrowing. not mine. all that jazz...

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: so this is just a short, fluffy chapter. i had originally intended for erica's idea to be completely different and had ten chapters written for that. but since i got such good feedback about doing a sequel, i decided to change it and save all that for the sequel. so now it has come to this, the predictable direction of erica's idea. there's about two, maybe three, more chapters before i wrap this first fic up. i got a really good idea about how to end it... or at least i think it's really good...

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"Well haven't you made quite the media splash." Erica stood in the bedroom doorway, a paper sack tucked under one arm.

Callie looked up from where she sat, cross-legged on the bed and surveyed Erica's slightly amused expression. "Finally! What took you so long? I thought you were just going to pick up a couple groceries. You've been gone over an hour and a half. Was the grocery store really packed or something?"

Erica shook her head, the amusement not leaving her expression. "I walked past the aisle where they have all the stationary and cards… and magazines. A cover caught my eye and…" Erica walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. She opened the paper bag and dumped it between them. Issues of every tabloid from _People_ to _Life & Style_, _InTouch_ to _US Weekly_, fell onto the bed. Each displayed a picture of Ethan and Callie with bright colored headlines like Diagnosis: Heartache. She stared at them in terror.

Callie hadn't heard much from Ethan West since she had left him at the altar. She had spoken on the phone with his manager, asking that Ethan be asked to mail her clothes to Erica's apartment. She figured it was a long shot but when they returned from their trip 3 boxes filled with her belongings were waiting for them. Callie figured he probably wanted to get rid of any reminders of their time together.

She'd seen tabloids before these saying the fifth season of Lodi Memorial was getting a late start due to complications surrounding Ethan West's personal life, first for his engagement and wedding and then for his break up.

Callie had known Ethan well enough in their time together to know he'd take it bad. He wasn't the type to be completely shattered but it would take him a while to fully recover. Her biggest regret was having to hurt someone who was innocent, he'd done nothing wrong except fall in love with someone who was already in love with someone else. But… the heart wants what the heart wants.

Callie touched one of the glossy covers that had a picture of her and Ethan at a party, a paparazzi shot of them walking up to the doors of the club where the party was being held. She bit her bottom lip and traced the outline of he ex-fiancé.

Erica, who had kept a rather smug look on her face all while Callie was examining the covers, began to frown. "You don't regret it, do you?"

Callie looked up at the insecurities in Erica's eyes. She got up on her knees, placing a hand on either side of Erica's face and pulling it down to hers so they could share a passionate kiss. "Would I be here right now if I did? Would I be unable to take my mind off you if I did? Would I have said yes if I did?"

Callie's lips met Erica's again, more passionate this time. She allowed the blonde to push her back onto the bed and straddle her hips, all without breaking contact once.

Erica pinned Callie's hands above her head and pulled back. She drank Callie in with her eyes. Callie was wearing one of those oversized men's Hanes t-shirts, her erect nipples already apparent through the thin, soft fabric. The silver chain around her neck glinted even in the dim light of their bedroom. Erica examined the white gold band that acted as a pendant, small diamonds dusted across its surface. She looked at a similar ring dangling from her own neck. They had agreed that wearing them around their necks was safer when it came to surgery. Nothing would be worse than losing your wedding band in some stranger's chest cavity.

Wedding. Marriage. Wife. The words still seemed foreign to Erica. At least where she was concerned. She was the ice queen; she had never expected anyone to thaw her out enough to get to her heart And then their was Callie. Their little trip to Canada had a greater purpose; Callie had already been dressed for the occasion after all. And then they had gone back to Foxtail Creek, a place that had become critical during their relationship. They had been surprised to find that Brenna was doing much better. Strong enough that Gail had driven her into Tahoe to have lunch with her parents. She was walking and talking better than they all would have expected or even dreamed. So much that they all started to believe she had a chance, that she might actually pull through. Nobody had been more excited about their marriage than Brenna had. Her eyes had a renewed sparkle, a new hope in them when they had told her the news.

Callie was her wife now. The thought caused a huge smile to spread across her face.

"What?" Callie looked at her questioningly.

"The thought just occurred to me that you're mine…"

Callie smiled. "Always."

The smile on Erica's face only got wider. "Really?"

Callie nodded. "Yes." She flashed Erica a glorious smile that nearly took the blonde's breath away. "Now get down here… my lips are getting cold."


	36. Reality Sets In

DISCLAIMER:: not mine. And it will never be. No copyright infringement intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: sorry this took so long guys. December was just one hell of a roller coaster ride that prevented me from breathing, let alone posting anything. So here is the third to last chapter. The next and final two will be posted within the next couple days. I was going on vacation in a week and half and I was going to wait on starting the sequel until I got back, but I am pretty sure I'm not going anymore, so I'll get started on the sequel right away. As for this chapter, um, Callie is starting to feel the enormity of the choice she has made by marrying Erica. It shows a loyal side of Christina, and a softer side of mark. I hope you like it.

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"Ow. Ow. Ow!" Mark slapped at Callie's hand near his right eyebrow.

"Oh stop it, you big baby!" She resumed cleaning the gash above Sloan's right eye. "That guy sure got in a good swing before security stepped in."

"It was a lucky shot!" Mark was suddenly defensive.

"Two lucky shots actually." Erica appeared next to Callie, a satisfied smile on her face.

"I'm glad to see you revel in my pain." Mark glared at Erica and then switched his attention to Callie as she proceeded to bandage the cut.

"I can't say I wouldn't have been happier if security had been delayed just a little longer. But I suppose a scar on that pretty little face of yours will have to do."

"Now listen here you..." Mark looked about ready to jump off the edge of the stray gurney he was sitting on.

"Hey! Do I need to separate you two?" Callie only looked at Mark as she spoke, raising her eyebrows expectantly. It was clear where her loyalties would lie. Erica stuck out her tongue at Mark over Callie's shoulder, and he lunged, but Callie arm restrained him and pushed him back down. So Mark settled for reciprocating Erica's gesture and sticking out his tongue.

To add insult to injury (quite literally), she pulled Callie into her arms and kissed her, hard.

Mark sat, waiting patiently for the kiss to end. But it didn't. He tried sighing loudly, to no avail. He tapped his fingers annoyingly. The two women still held their liplock. He overdramatically check his watch, but that did nothing to help. Finally...

"Dr. Hahn?" No response. "Dr. Hahn?" Again, nothing. In fact, the girls' make out session was starting to take on a very suggestive nature. If Mark didn't stop them soon he'd be very tempted to... "Dr. Hahn!"

Both women broke apart and whirled around to face Sloan.

"What!?" The both said it at the exact same time, both in the same frustrated tone. That in itself was suspicious, but then Erica froze.

Mark was about to answer with some witty comeback when he saw it. Erica froze and a ring, dangling on a chain slipped from where it had been hidden behind the collar of her shirt. A ring that was nearly identical to the one Callie had tucked under her scrub top. And in that moment, it all clicked. Callie looking up every time Dr. Hahn had been paged over the loudspeaker, almost as if she were about to answer the page and then think of better of it. It all made sense now. Callie Torres was now Callie Hahn or some variation of it. Either that or she was about to be.

Mark smiled knowingly at them.

Callie's face paled slightly, but Erica rolled her eyes. "Why am I even wasting my time with you?"

Mark feigned being upset. "I'm hurt. I don't remember getting an invitation."

Erica still looked annoyed, but now confusion touched her expression too. "An invitation to what?"

Mark smiled widely. "The wedding."

Mark and Callie had both expected his comment to set Erica off, but it didn't. She eyed him calmly and then shrugged. "Sorry. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing."

Callie had remained quiet during their exchange, paler than a ghost. Erica didn't pick up on it, or if she did, she chose to ignore it.

"I have to go pick up a file and check on a patient but I'll meet you in the lobby in 45, ok?" She didn't wait for Callie to respond, not that she even would have, given the opportunity. She leaned in and gave Callie a small peck. Then she was gone.

"Wow. Marriage. Again. That's really something Torres." Mark noticed Callie's frozen form and studied her for a second. "Second thoughts?"

Callie seemed to snap out of a trance at his words. She slowly shook her head. "No, I love Erica. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I don't know, I just... I don't know."

"It's real now."

"What?" Callie raised an eyebrow.

"It becomes real now that somebody knows. Before it was your little secret, this crazy impulse you had. But now it's been stated as fact to someone else, and that changes things. If someone knows, you have to defend it. You have to back up the decision you've made. It's unfortunate, but we live in times where the choices you've made will have consequences and you will have to own up to them. It can't be passed off as 'just a phase'. You married a woman Callie. There are going to be people out there who will hate you because of that. They will know nothing of who you are and they will still judge you. All that reality is just now catching up with you. You don't regret your decision, you just realize exactly what it means."

Callie knew he was right, but she didn't have to like it. "I liked you better when you only thought about threesomes." She turned and headed to change out of her scrubs for her and Erica's date that night.

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"So, what's the verdict? Callie Hahn, Callie Torres-Hahn, or is she Erica Torres now?" Mark popped his tray down on the table next to where Callie was absently poking at her salad.

Callie eyed him warily, instantly suspicious. He genuinely looked curious.

"Technically Torres-Hahn, but I want it to be just Hahn." She pushed her salad away, suddenly not quite hungry anymore.

"I'm sure Erica's happy about that one."

Callie gave a small half smile. "She insists she doesn't care, but I think she secretly adores it." Callie grabbed his apple from the corner of his tray and took a bite out of it. "So how does the bride like being Rose Sloan?"

"Marriage is everything I think we both expected it to be." Mark didn't look happy or sad by that fact.

Callie raised a questioning eyebrow.

"It's hard work. There's days when I wonder if I made the right choice. Monogamy never was my thing. And then there's times... like yesterday when I made this really stupid joke and she rolled her eyes, but she still laughed and it just lit up her entire face. It's moments like that when I realize that even if we don't last forever, I still made the right move."

"You sound happy."

"I am happy. I'm happy with where we are. And who knows, maybe one day we can really settle down, have a couple little Sloans..."

"Mark I need your..."

"Little Sloans?" Erica sat on Callie's other available side and glared at him. "That's exactly what the world needs, your offspring."

Sloan frowned. "I'll see you later Callie." He was gone a second later.

Callie turned on Erica and glared at her. "He's my friend. And I thought he was yours too. You could try to act like a decent human being."

"Callie, calm down." Erica was taken aback by the venom in Callie's voice. "I was just joking. Sloan and I always act this way around each other."

"He's helping me figure out something right now and I'd really just appreciate you backing off with the snide remarks." Callie picked up her salad, disposing of it in the nearest trash can, and stormed off, leaving a dumbfounded Erica behind.

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"Dr. Hahn?" Christina shifted from one foot to the other uneasily as she stood next to and addressed her nemesis.

"Yang." Erica was skimming a patient's lab results and didn't look up.

Christina felt like turning and walking away. So she had found Callie crying in an on call room... big deal. It wasn't her job to solve things.

"Yang?" Erica glanced up briefly, finally giving a solid acknowledgment of their conversation.

"She's breakable."

"Excuse me?"

There was no stopping now. "She's breakable. I know you don't think she is, but she is. She doesn't let anyone see it but double oh seven nearly obliterated her. She puts on this tough persona but inside she's breakable."

Erica stared at Christina, her head still trying to process what she was being told. Yang took her silence as a good sign.

"She's my friend. Just don't break her heart. She deserves better than that."

"Okay." Erica couldn't even process anything else to say. She was dumbfounded for the second time that day.

Yang nodded and then set off to go about her business.

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"Are you talking to me yet?" Erica stood in the doorway to their bedroom, her arms crossed neatly across her chest. She stared at Callie, who had her back to her. Callie had been giving her the silent treatment since their little scene at lunch and Erica had a feeling this went deeper than Mark Sloan.

Callie shrugged. "Maybe."

"Well, maybe's better than nothing."

Erica kicked off her shoes and crawled up onto and across the bed. She leaned over Callie and pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

Callie didn't smile, but when Erica snuggled against her, burying her face in her hair, she didn't object either.

They laid like that for an immeasurable amount of silence before either of them spoke.

"I'm still mad at you." Callie said as Erica nuzzled the back of her neck. Her voice didn't sound as serious as she meant it to.

Erica smiled against the back of her neck before placing a kiss on the skin there. "Yeah, but your resolve is breaking."

Callie didn't comment, but a small smile finally graced her features.

Erica caught the smile and grinned. "I knew you'd see things my way."

Callie finally turned and their lips met.

The kissing grew more heated until they were starting to remove articles of clothing one by one.

"Erica?"

Erica's kissing halted just as it had moved down to Callie's pulse point. The blonde brought her blue eyed gaze back up to chocolate brown, still dark with desire, but tinged with concern. Callie had been so hot and cold lately, a fact that had not been completely lost on Erica. "What baby?"

Callie cringed, but recovered quickly. "I...I..." She stared up into Erica's beautiful face and she knew she couldn't hurt her, not now, not ever. So the words she meant to say died on her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too Cal." Erica stared questioningly at the raven haired surgeon. "Now, what's really bother..." Erica didn't get to finish her statement. Callie wrapped her legs around Erica's waist and crashed their lips together. It would be a few hours before Erica would even get the opportunity to ask her question again, and by then it was a distant memory.


	37. Best Friends First

DISCLAIMER:: not mine. belongs to shonda and abc studios.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: so, second to last chapter. it feels odd wrapping this up. i don't want to see it come to an end, but alas, all things must eventually conclude. this chapter will set up the sequel to this lovely fic which is already being worked on as we speak. enjoy and review if the inclination strikes you...

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A month passed with no serious incident. It was early summer now and Callie was happier than she'd ever remembered being. She couldn't tell if her good vibes were from the cheerier weather or something else entirely, but she was unnaturally perky.

"It's showing." Mark came up behind her with a grin on his face.

"What is?" Callie glanced down at herself looking for anything out of place and then around, confused.

"The rumor mill's already started turning." He tossed down a newspaper in front of her._ West staring in new film with Seattle as backdrop_ was the byline of a headline that screamed _West Makes a Change._

Callie paled momentarily but recovered quickly. "Yeah so?"

"Well, while I know that your new glowing mood is due to your secret elopement to Erica Hahn, Cardio Goddess, everyone else thinks you've rekindled the flame with McGleamy."

Callie snorted. "Not quite."

Mark shrugged. "Well I know the truth, but everyone else..." Mark left her to finish the statement.

Callie pondered that. It wouldn't hurt to just let everyone talk. It would certainly keep them from the truth a little while longer. But the mention of Ethan West being in town irked her. Why couldn't he stay on his own half of the west coast? Was he here to put a wrench in her happiness?

"Hey Callie." She turned and met his suddenly concerned gaze. "You doing okay... with everything, I mean?"

"I'm fine." Callie's tone was clipped. She wasn't ready to talk about this.

"Are you sure?" Mark wasn't quite convinced.

"I'm fine."

"Callie... maybe you should just tell Er..."

"No!" Callie's eyes bulged. "Erica cannot know. Do you understand me? Not now. Not ever."

Mark put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Callie... she's your wife. She's going to find out sooner or later."

"Yeah, well, where Erica Hahn is concerned, the later, the better."

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Ethan West sat solemnly in a chair off to the side of the set, on break from shooting. He had made what he thought to be a smart decision, switching from small screen to big. He had been contemplating a film career for years but Lodi memorial had been too lucrative an opportunity to pass up. But now... he decided change would be good. He was plagued by thoughts of his ex-fiancee on the set of LM. He had jumped at the first movie that was sent his way. Little did he know it would end up bringing him right back to Seattle, the city that started it all.

He had no doubt Callie Torres knew he was in town for an extended stay though she had yet to make an appearance. Not that he really expected her to. It would just be awkward being around her after what had transpired just mere months before. It was probably better if she didn't come.

But each day he still wondered if Callie would stop by, his heart's last hope for the one that got away. It took him nearly three weeks on set to stop looking up whenever he thought he heard her voice. But the moment he stopped waiting for her was just the moment she showed up.

"Excuse me, ma'am, this area is STAFF ONLY... excuse me... EXCUSE ME! SECURITY!"

Ethan looked up to see Callie stalking toward him, an entourage of personnel angrily following.

He held up a hand to ward them off. "It's okay, she's with me."

The short stout man who had led the chase against the ortho resident eyed Callie suspiciously but finally retreated.

"So Callie... to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Callie frowned. "I think it's about time we talked."

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"Callie!" Erica walked up behind the brunette as she was making a beeline for the elevator.

"Oh, hey." Callie smiled genuinely at Erica.

"I tried to wait up for you last night, but I must have passed out." Erica frowned, obviously dismayed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I had somewhere to go after work."

"Where?"

"Just had to go see someone, an appointment of sorts. It ran a lot longer than I had intended." Callie stepped in the elevator and pressed the button for the third floor.

Erica stared at her, contemplation flashing behind her eyes as she studied Callie. The brunette raised an eyebrow but said nothing to appease the blonde.

The doors sprang open and the couple emerged. "You'd tell me if you were cheating, right?"

Callie stopped dead, shock on her face. "Erica, I..." She paused and when she spoke again, her voice was softer. "You know you can trust me, right? I don't plan on breaking any hearts." She lifted a hand to cup Erica's cheek.

"Callie!"

Erica rolled her eyes, Callie dropped her hand, and both turned to meet the intruder.

"Sloan... as always, your timing is impeccable."

Mark eyed Erica then turned to Callie as if to say something. The warning death glare Callie gave him was not lost on Erica. Neither was Sloan's immediate loss of words.

Erica pointed down the hall. "Well, I have patients to attend to, so I'll go. But I'll see you later?"

Callie hated that Erica now felt the need to ask, but she still nodded and leaned forward to accept Erica's departing kiss.

Mark watched until she disappeared around the next corner and then turned back to Callie. "So, what did Ethan say?"

"He was a gentleman, as always. He forgave me immediately, which of course, made me feel like shit. I told him I was married now and that was the only time he even stopped smiling."

"So he's good with things?"

"Yeah, he is."

"And?"

"I think he wants to be a bigger part of my life than I'm ready for."

Just around the corner, Erica Hahn stopped breathing. So Callie was already starting to keep secrets from her. Maybe this had all been a mistake.

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Callie had not seen Erica at lunch nor been able to find her anytime during her shift. It wasn't entirely uncommon for them to not see each other for a day or to, they were doctors after all, but Callie had a deep rooted bad feeling about Erica's absence. She wasn't surprised that the blonde had beat her home. Her shift had ended up running long due to a cheerleader who wanted to hold off putting a cast on her broken leg until after cheer camp.

"Erica, I'm home." Callie tossed her things on the empty couch and glanced around. On a normal day, Erica would be there to greet her, but the blonde was nowhere to be seen.

Finally Callie's curiosity drew her to the bedroom. Erica was sitting with her back against the headboard, a wine bottle clutched in her right hand. The bottle was almost empty, maybe a couple mouthfuls remained in the bottom.

"Honey? What... what happened?" Callie rushed over to her, prying the long neck of the bottle from her fingers and setting it on the bedside table.

"YOU! You are what happened!"

Callie cringed at the cardio surgeon's words. What had she done to offend her since that morning? Then the realization hit her that it didn't necessarily have to be something she had done that day, just rather something Erica had been made aware of that day. I'm gonna kill Mark Sloan.

"So you know." It wasn't a question, rather a confirmation. She had already expected this reaction from Erica, but it still stung.

"I know." Erica said it with as much disdain as she could muster.

"So, what now?" Callie wasn't sure where the question came from, but she realized she had been wondering the same thing for weeks.

"I don't know."

They were both silent for a moment.

"Ethan West, Callie, really? It had to be Ethan West? It couldn't have been that hot nurse from Triage or anyone else? It had to be Ethan West? You left him to be with me... are you gonna leave me for him now? Is that what you wan..."

Callie smiled, barely able to contain her joy, and put a finger to Erica's still-moving lips. "Shut up." Her voice had taken on a sultry edge.

Erica shoved her hand away, but gently so. "Where do you get off telling..."

Callie repeated her previous action, stopping her midsentence again. "Just shut up." She crawled onto the bed and straddled Erica's legs, so that she was facing her.

"I am not, nor will I ever, leave you for Ethan West. He's a really sweet guy and he was this part of my life; he still is." Callie pushed a wayward strand of Erica's hair behind her ear. "I love you so much Erica Hahn, so much sometimes I wonder where it all comes from. I told you to trust me. My love for you is the one thing you should never doubt."

"Then why didn't you tell me you were going to see Ethan West, Callie?"

"Maybe because I was afraid of this." She spread her hands to gesture to their current situation. "Maybe because I didn't want to upset you over nothing. That's what it was Erica... nothing. Just unfinished business."

"It's not nothing Callie. You're keeping things from me. Since when did I stop being the person you come to for things? You spend your lunches whispering with Sloan, you visit your ex behind my back. I just want you to let me in again. We were best friends before all else, before any of this."

Callie frowned. "Erica, I... I don't know what to say. Well, okay, I have been shutting you out."

"I knew it!" Erica nodded smugly.

"But it's not because I didn't want to let you in. I just, I'm dealing with something right now, and it's hard for me. I don't, I can't hurt you. I'd rather die than to destroy you, and..." Callie felt tears start to burn her eyes.

"Oh, hey, no crying." Erica whispered softly to her as she wiped away the stray tears that started to fall. "Just tell me what's wrong. We'll get through it. I promise."

"I..."

Callie was cut off as her cell phone went off. She could hear it crystal clear from where she had dropped it on the couch in the living room.

Erica put a hand under her chin and directed Callie's attention back to her. "Just ignore it."

Callie obeyed Erica and tried to remember where she had left off. The phone quieted just as she remembered. But as she opened her mouth to continue, Erica's phone went off.

"I'll just get it." Callie got up and stumbled across the room to the dresser, where Erica's phone was buzzing and aglow.

"Hello?" Callie said into the phone.

"Callie..." Ben fought back a sob.

Erica leapt off the bed, just in time to catch Callie as she fell.


	38. Two Bodies, One Heart

DISCLAIMER:: So not mine. Cause if it was... I'll just leave that up to your imagination...

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: so, here it is, the final chapter. It leaves questions, but I intended it to. I'm going on vacation next week but I will start to post the sequel once I return. A big thank you to the real Gail, Benjamin, Michael, and Brenna for letting me use their names and their stories to make this fic much better than it would have been otherwise. Thanks to Elly who had no fear of telling me when my work was brilliant and especially when it wasn't. Thanks to all my readers for seeing this through with me. Are you ready for round 2? If not, then make sure you get ready, because there will be plenty more twists and turns coming up. So stay tuned!

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Her face was pale and beautiful, frozen, as if it was being viewed through glass. She was a mannequin in a window display at a department store, stuck in time, frozen perfectly at age 33. Her soft black waves were pooled around her face, though her eyes still closed, spectators were aware that they were still bright brown beneath the lids. She was in her wedding dress. It was less extravagant than Callie's had been, less expensive too, but it was no less beautiful. It made her look like a goddess, about to be preserved in her beauty for centuries to come. A locket was nestled against the hollow of her throat. She was perfect, just like Sleeping Beauty.

"Callie, come on, it's time." Ben's voice was barely above a whisper as he gently placed a hand on Callie's forearm and softly urged her away from where she stood at the edge of the casket, looking down at Brenna.

Erica had tried to break through to her in the days following the phone call. Callie had lapsed into silence, a sort of trance that no one had been able to break. She hadn't spoken one word since that night when Erica had caught her and picked up the phone. It was Erica who had talked to Ben and found out the details of what had happened. It was Erica who had packed Callie's things for her. It was Erica who had explained things to the Chief, and it was Erica who had drove them immediately back to Foxtail Creek. Though Erica had suggested they stay in the small cabin up the hill from the main house, just as they had their first trip there, to give Callie her privacy to mourn her loss, Callie had just walked like a zombie straight up to the guest room in the main house and laid on the bed.

Ben finally pulled her away and handed her off to Erica. Erica put a hand on the small of her back and guided her towards the front doors of the church. Callie didn't object, but she didn't help much either. Erica was sure if she removed her hand, Callie would stop, no order to move able to process in her mind. So instead she just directed her out into the sunlight.

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"_Have you ever thought about it?"_

"_What? Dying? Um... can you say everyday since I was nine?" Brenna rolled her eyes as if the answer should be obvious._

"_You just don't seem..."_

"_As afraid as I should be?"_

"_Yeah." Callie nodded._

"_When I was a kid, I used to dream I was in this story, that my life was a fairytale. I always imagined that one day, someone would come and rescue me from the nightmare that was my life. I don't want to die, but am I afraid? No. If death is truly the end, and I don't believe for one second that it is, but if it is, then I got my fairytale. Kayla saved me. She gave me life. But if it's not the end, well then I get to see her." Brenna paused to smile at the possibility. "And just knowing that might happen, that I could possibly have that future, well that just eliminatess any fear I could possibly have left."_

"_You really believe there's life after death?"_

"_I have to, or I'm already dead."_

_-------------------------------------------------------------_

"Callie? Callie, honey, come with me." The second Erica opened the passenger door and helped Callie out of the car, Gail was there. She was still in the black dress she'd worn to the funeral, but she didn't care. "I got some tea on the stove. The boys are riding behind the..." Gail glanced at Callie and thought better of saying the word _hearse_. "They're making sure she gets up there okay."

Erica nodded and then followed behind Gail as she led Callie into the house. Once all three women were inside, Gail led Callie into the kitchen to give her some tea and Erica fell to the couch, exhausted.

Gail emerged ten minutes later and sat in one of the chairs across from Erica. Both women were silent for several minutes.

"Give her time."

"I'm worried about her. Callie is not the silent type. I want to help her, but I have no idea how to take this pain away. I'm a doctor. It's my job to mend people who are broken. And yet, I can't fix her."

Gail looked at Erica and sighed. "She's not dealing with this too well. You've lost many people in your life, Erica. Your parents were dead, at least to you, by the time you hit puberty. Your sister. Brylee. You've seen so much of death; it's no stranger to you. But she has never lost anyone close to her. She is taking it hard is all. She'll get better; she just needs time."

Silence ensued again.

"Are they still burying her next to Kayla?"

"Do you think she'd let us get away with anything less? We practically had to sign it in blood before she let herself go." Gail tried to laugh but it was a dead sound, devoid of true warmth.

Erica watched Gail get up and cross the living room to the mantle, where a picture of Brenna, Michael, Kayla, and Erica herself sat on the rightmost corner. "She would have followed Kayla anywhere; it seems death was no exception."

Before Erica could respond, a flash of movement caught her eye. Callie stood in the open doorway to the kitchen, resting against the doorframe. Erica studied her, and she met Erica's eyes for the first time in days. Erica saw purpose in them, though not quite life yet.

"Gail?"

Both of the older women froze, neither one knowing quite how to react. Finally Gail turned.

"Yes, dear?"

Callie looked at Erica and then meaningfully at the kitchen again. Gail was quick on the upkeep. She nodded and followed Callie into the kitchen.

It took several minutes for Gail to reemerge, but when she did, she was crying. Not sobs, but silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked at Erica and smiled. "You got a great girl in there. She has a good heart."

Erica nodded, though she had no idea what Gail was talking about. Still, she couldn't deny that Callie was a good person. "I know."

Gail wiped her eyes. "I have to go to the store and pick up a few things, make a few arrangements." She eyed Erica suspiciously. "Do you think you could watch her for an hour or so?"

Erica frowned. Since when did she become incapable? "I think I can handle it."

"I'll be back." Gail grabbed her coat from the rack near the door.

Erica was about to get up and go to Callie, but she stayed where she was when she saw Callie was already in the doorway again, eyeing her cautiously.

Erica held her arms open. Callie stumbled softly over and fell into them. She buried her face deep into Erica's neck. Erica ran her fingers through Callie's hair while the brunette silently sobbed, letting out all the emotion she'd been too numb to feel before.

Callie raised her head nearly an hour later. "You don't get to die. Ever."

Erica tried to think of a way to let the ortho resident down easy. Every speech she'd ever heard on death flashed through her mind. Everybody dies, It's a part of life, You see this everyday at the hospital, I don't make promises I can't keep. But they were all useless against Callie's stubborn glare. "Callie..."

"No! You don't have my permission to die!"

Erica considered arguing but then thought better of it. "Okay."

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"_Thanks, Callie, for bringing me home." Brenna smiled up at Callie, true happiness in her eyes._

"_I'll be back the second I get settled in LA, okay? You better be okay when I get back." Callie pointed at her in warning. "I mean it, missy, no dying on me, okay?"_

_Brenna smiled but didn't nod or agree. "Just go be happy Callie."_

"_This is not goodbye, Brenna." Callie headed for the door to the room. _

"_Callie?" _

_Callie turned, almost through the door. "Yeah?"_

_Brenna smiled. "I know. It's see you later."_

_Callie couldn't bring herself to answer. She just smiled and turned, walking out the door._

_----------------------------------------------------------------_

SIX DAYS LATER

"You sure you're ready for this?" Erica eyed Callie warily. The raven haired surgeon had continued her silent streak, only breaking it a few times since she'd ordered immortality on Erica nearly a week earlier. She had been too withdrawn to attend the burial. She had just stayed curled up on Erica's lap all night, not moving even when Gail returned with a couple bags of groceries. They had stayed that way until near dawn when Callie had finally passed out. Ben had carried her up to the guest room and Erica had followed, slowly, on the edge of sleep herself.

"Yes." Callie crested the hill and stared down upon the sparkling lake and the graves on it's left bank. Three graves, two headstones. One worn with the seasons since the small girl's death, and the second, shinier and bigger than either girl remembered. Callie walked past Brylee's grave, nodding in acknowledgment and respect, and then stopped in front of Kayla's. The new headstone sat between the second and third graves, newly carved with two names. On the left,_ Kayla Marie Hahn b. January 9, 1967 d. January 28, 1999_, and on the right, _Brenna Crista DaSilva b. June 19, 1975 d. May 31, 2009. _Between the two names was one short phrase: _Two Bodies, One Heart_.

Callie wiped away a couple tears that made their way lazily down her cheeks.

Erica caught the action and put a comforting hand on the small of her back. "Just don't think of this as saying goodbye, Callie."

Callie laid down the rose she was holding. "See you later."


End file.
